Charlie and Nick Fanfic - PG13 Version

Burning Out

Charlie had never experienced such a tense, silent week before in his life. To say he was devastated was an understatement. For the first time, Charlie could truly feel Nick slipping away. They had barely spoken since the "Jeremy incident," and Nick still couldn't look at Charlie, at least not for more than a few seconds at a time. Nick was actively avoiding him, never staying in the same room as Charlie longer than he needed to. They still shared a bed, so Charlie hadn't destroyed everything just yet.

These were unprecedented times. They had never had a fight like this. They had never gone this long voluntarily not speaking to each other. Charlie knew he had made a colossal mistake, but didn't he deserve some credit for not following through?

He had thought, at the time, that it would be great for Nick. They could try something new together, as a couple. Call it temporary insanity.

Nick wasn't a threesome kind of guy. He was pure and unadulterated. Some people could have perfectly healthy relationships and open that relationship to other people, but they had to be built for it. They had to have that trust and openness. Charlie and Nick had trust and openness, but Nick didn't have the sexual apatite to explore such activities. It could never simply be sex with Nick. The act meant devotion and intimacy. Someone like Nick could never take that act lightly.

It was Christmas Eve and they still weren't speaking. In the morning, they were supposed to go to the Charlie's parents' house for breakfast and presents. In the evening, they were supposed to go to Nick's mother's house for dinner and possibly more presents. Charlie was unsure if those plans still stood.

While Nick watched It's a Wonderful Life in the living room, Charlie cried silently in the bedroom. It was over, he was sure of it. They found something amazing and rare with one another and Charlie ruined it.

Curled up in their bed, Charlie hugged the plush, light up dog Nick had given him what felt like ages ago. He didn't know what to do, how to make things better. Charlie was completely powerless. If Nick didn't wish to speak to him, then Charlie wouldn't force it. But that was days ago, and still Nick was emotionally shut down. Did he want Charlie to leave? Did he want to pretend nothing happened? What the hell did he want?

Tears filled Charlie's eyes as he opened them to reach to the side table for a tissue. Sniffling, he wiped his cheeks, aware he had already cried almost halfway through his pillow. When he went to curl up and wallow alone again, he noticed his plush golden retriever was sporadically blinking, fading in to quickly shut off then on again. Was Nick punching the plush cat that was connected to the dog?

Charlie shifted his focus from the blinking toy when knuckles softly rapped on the closed bedroom door. Frantically wiping the tears away, Charlie replied, "come in."

Nick opened the door, yet he lingered in the doorway. The plush cat was held tight to his chest. It was blinking in the same way Charlie's plush dog was. The lights inside of the toys were finally burning out. Hopefully, this wasn't a metaphor for their relationship.

With puppy dog eyes, Nick stared at his fiancé for a moment, never releasing his embrace around the plush cat. He swallowed at a lump in his throat, and that was when Charlie could see that Nick's eyes were red, too. "Do you wanna watch the rest of the movie with me?"

Charlie nodded, climbing out of bed and nearly jogging to the couch to finally sit next to his partner again.

Nick sat next to him, keeping a person-sized void between them.

They watched together quietly, somewhat enjoying a movie they had both seen every Christmas season for their entire lives. As the film came to a close, Nick spoke. "I miss you." He reached out and enlaced his fingers with Charlie's. "I don't want to lose you. But you scared me and..."

Charlie scooted closer to him. "I'm sorry," he told him for the millionth time as Nick opened his arms and embraced him. Charlie wrapped his arms around Nick's torso, squeezing tight. "I'm so sorry."

Nick squeezed back, pecking the top of Charlie's head. "Me too, babe."

Maybe they would be okay. Charlie hoped they could leave this threesome thing behind them, but he wasn't naïve enough to believe it would be that simple.