Better Off Alone (Adopted by Brendon and Sarah Urie)

45. Sarah

The nurse brought me right to Brendon's bedside. He was on a ventilator and looked a sickly pale yellow. I smothered a sob when I saw him lying, unconscious and unaware in the bed. I took his hand and kissed his knuckles.

"You're gonna be okay, Bren," I said. "You're gonna be okay."

His heart monitor beeped a steady rhythm. I sat by his bed watching him sleep. The nurse had told me he was still under some sedation from the surgery and to keep him from fighting the vent. They hoped to have him off that tomorrow. Tonight was all about giving his body the most amount of rest possible.

I sat by his bedside for hours before I got up to ask about Callie. I wasn't sure who to ask, so I just went to the nurse at the desk.

"My, our daughter was admitted to the Pediatric psychiatric ward," I said, stumbling over the words I never thought I'd ever hear myself say. "Can I see her? Do you know?"

"They're a bit more strict with visitors up there. Go on up to the fifth floor, North wing. Talk to the nurse there and they'll explain the procedures for you. Your husband is stable and I don't anticipate any issues. Go check on your daughter."

I thanked the nurse and went up to the fifth floor. The unit was barred by locked doors. A sliding glass window was to the side. I knocked on it and a tired looking nurse opened it.

"Can I help you? Visiting hours are over for today."

"Oh. Um. I, my daughter was just admitted and I wanted to check on her. See her if possible."

"Visiting hours are 11 am to two and four to six. Come back tomorrow," the nurse started closing the window.

"Wait!" I exclaimed. "Can you at least tell me if my daughter is okay?"

"Name?"

"Callie Urie," I said. She typed something into her computer.

"Oh. Yeah. Stabbed her dad?"

I frowned. It wasn't that simple. I nodded.

"Yeah. She's fine. Still unconscious."

"She's Deaf," I said. "She isn't going to understand what's happening unless you get her an interpreter."

"I'll make a note of that," the nurse said. "For now, you will have to wait until tomorrow to be allowed on the unit."

I was livid with how rude that nurse was. Surely even kids with mental health issues deserved better treatment! And I was heartbroken that my daughter was lying in some room alone, and would be scared as soon as she woke up and realized she was alone. I went back to Brendon's bedside and took his hand. I sat with him through the night and watched him lie there.

"They won't let me see Callie until visiting hours tomorrow. Bren, she's all alone and has no one to communicate to her or for her," I whispered, tears rolling down my face. "She's going to be terrified when she wakes up."

I know I fell asleep at some point but was awoken by the ringing of my cell phone. I looked at the display and saw it was Zack.

"Hi Zack," I said flatly.

"Sarah! What's going on? There's a story on the news that Brendon and Callie are in the hospital. Did you guys have an intruder or something?!  What's going on?"

I broke down into sobs as I told Zack the story of what had happened.

"Okay. Holy shit. Okay. I'll talk to the publicists. We'll get the right story out. How's Brendon doing?"

"He had surgery last night. He, he looks really bad but they say he'll be okay. His bowel was perforated and he lost a lot of blood. He's still unconscious."

"And how's Callie?"

"They won't let me see her," I cried.

"Why not? You're her mom!"

"I know. But they have her on the psychiatric unit. And I can only see her during visiting hours."

"That's bullshit. You're her mother. How can they keep you from her? She's Deaf! Who's going to interpret for her?"

"I know, Zack. She's all alone in there. No one will tell me anything. The nurse told me she's still unconscious. Well she was when I went to see if I could see her."

"Do you need, or want, Kala and I out there?"

"I don't know. I'm so out of my element right now," I said, breaking down into tears.

"Look, Kala and I will come out there. You're going to need a hand with Brendon when they release him. And probably with Callie, too. Don't worry about picking us up or anything. We'll figure it all out."

"Thank you, Zack," I said, quietly, through tears.

"It's going to be okay, Sarah. We'll figure this out."

"Thank you," I said before hanging up.

Suddenly, Brendon's body jerked. He was choking. I cried for a nurse.

"He's waking up," the nurse said, pushing me slightly out of the way and pressing a button on the wall. More people came into the room. Brendon was struggling. I started crying. What was happening?

"Okay, Mr. Urie, relax. Calm down. You're okay. You have a tube down your throat. I'm going to take that out but I need you to relax a bit," the nurse said to Brendon.

I heard her count to three and then I heard sputtering and coughing.

The staff worked on Brendon for another couple of minutes before moving away from his bedside. I looked at him as they left the room. He had a tube running under his nose and his eyes were closed. Was he awake?"

I moved over beside him and took his hand.

"Bren? You're going to be okay," I said, looking at his beautiful face, and smoothing down a stray hair. I saw his lips moving.

"What's that, darling?" I asked, moving closer to his lips.

"Callie?" He asked, his voice a raspy whisper.

"They haven't let me see her yet. They sent her to the psychiatric unit and I can't see her until visiting hours," I said. Brendon frowned. He hadn't opened his eyes yet.  But he was communicating. He was talking. He was going to be okay.

"Don't let her blame herself," Brendon rasped.

"Bren, just rest, okay? You need to rest your voice, and you need to rest. You had surgery last night and you lost a lot of blood. You're getting some transfusions and you're going to be okay. Zack and Kala are coming out here to help us out once you and Callie are ready to come home."

I wasn't even sure Callie would be coming home with us.