Better Off Alone (Adopted by Brendon and Sarah Urie)

105. Callie

The morning of the hearing test, I woke up nervous. Mom came into my room to see if I was awake and came and sat on my bed.

"Good morning, beautiful," Mom said, smiling.

"Hi," I said.

"What's the matter?" She asked, seeing I didn't smile back.

"I'm nervous," I said.

"What are you nervous about?"

"The test today. What if it shows I don't have any hearing at all? Will you be disappointed? Will you send me back?"

Mom pulled me up into a sitting position and wrapped her arms around me.

"My darling girl," she said, after she broke the hug. "Regardless of what the test says today, Dad and I will never, ever give you up. You're our daughter forever. Please, don't worry. If the test shows you have no hearing, then nothing changes, right? And if it shows you might have some we - you, me and Dad - will talk about what that means and whether you want to try hearing aids or anything. But you're not going anywhere regardless."

She pulled me into another hug and rubbed my back. It felt nice. It was relaxing. Maybe, I thought to myself. Maybe I would actually be okay. Maybe they won't get rid of me if I don't have any hearing. I mean, I stabbed Dad and they didn't get rid of me.

Mom smiled at me again and told me to get up and get dressed and to come downstairs for breakfast.  She left my room and I got up and got ready.  I was still nervous though. What would it mean if I do have some hearing?

I walked down the stairs slowly, trying to make the day go as slowly as possible.

"Hey," Dad said as I came into the kitchen. "What's the matter?"

"She's nervous about the hearing test," Mom said. Dad came over to me, lifted me off the floor as he pulled me into a hug and then put me down.

"Nothing is going to change from what the test shows. Okay? We promise. Mom and I love you tons and tons. We're just going to see if you could use hearing aids or something. If not, so be it. Or, if you decide even if there is some hearing, if you don't want to use hearing aids, that's okay, too. It's going to be your decision ultimately. We'll talk about the results and what they mean, but Callie, sweetheart, it's your choice, okay?"

I shrugged and nodded.

"Thanks, Dad," I said trying to smile. Dad smiled and hugged me again, kissing the top of my head.

PopPop and Granny came downstairs and said good morning. Mom and Dad must have explained why I wasn't my perky self because PopPop came over, hugged me and then said;

"We love you just the way you are. And the outcome of this test changes nothing about that."

I hugged him back.

We sat and ate breakfast. I couldn't fully not be nervous, but I was a little less nervous.

Once we were done eating - and Mom and Dad both had to keep pushing me to eat faster - we got ready to go.

Granny came over, put her hands on my face, smiled at me, kissed my forehead and said;

"Good luck, sweetheart. Remember. Nothing changes about how much we love you regardless of the results."

I hugged her, and then PopPop asked for another hug. Then Mom and Dad were rushing me out to the car.

I stared out the window as we drove. I didn't look at Mom and Dad because I was afraid of answering the same question. Because yes. I am still nervous that they'll decide to get rid of me if I have absolutely no hearing. And I know I can't handle going back to the Children's Home. I was trying very hard not to cry.