Better Off Alone (Adopted by Brendon and Sarah Urie)

71. Callie

I woke up with a burning and stabbing feeling in my left foot. I looked down at my foot and the animal was back. It had chewed through my sneaker and was trying to eat my foot! I kicked it again. It hissed at me, based on its face, but ran away. I took off what was left of my shoe and sock and looked at my foot. It was bleeding from the bites the animal had made. My foot hurt. I carefully put the sock back on but decided I was not bothering with the mostly destroyed sneaker.

Everything seemed really bright. I was so thirsty and hungry. It had rained at some point so I tried to drink a little water off some trees. It wasn't much but I guess it helped. I really wasn't feeling well now. My foot hurt, and so did my head.

I walked some more but eventually, my foot hurt too much and my head was fuzzy. I lay down among some rocks and bushes and hoped I was safe from animals.

When I opened my eyes again, my head felt like my brain was swimming. Everything looked weird and I felt like my body was on fire. My foot hurt so much I started to cry. But I was so weak, I fell asleep.

I kept having dreams that animals were chasing me. Then the animals turned into a hundred Melanies, chasing me up and down the hills.

I saw Mom and Dad and they were frowning at me and shaking their heads. I looked around and saw rocks and trees and nothing else. I couldn't tell if I was awake or asleep. I didn't feel like I was connected to my body.

The next time I opened my eyes, I was lying down but I was out in the sun. It hurt to move. It hurt to breathe. My head hurt. My foot was on fire. I looked at it and I could swear I could see my heartbeat in my foot. There were red lines going up my leg.

I lay back and closed my eyes. I didn't have the energy to move anymore.

It was dark again. The animals were back. They were sniffing around my hurt foot. I tried to kick them away, but my foot was too heavy. I used my other foot and they scattered. They'd probably be back. I tried to stay awake so they wouldn't catch me by surprise. I actually crawled towards some shade I could see. But I must have passed out because I woke up with the sun shining on my back as I lay on my stomach. I didn't remember lying down.

My head was screaming at me. My foot felt like it was a balloon. But also so heavy. It didn't hurt anymore, though. It didn't feel connected to me really, anymore. My sock was torn up and bloody. I couldn't muster the strength to care.

I crawled until I couldn't anymore. I just collapsed and closed my eyes.

➿➿

I'm moving. I'm floating. It feels so beautiful. Is this what dying feels like?

I see a bright light. But it's not moving. I'm just staring at this bright light. I close my eyes to block the light. It goes away. I try opening my eyes again. There's a light. But it looks far away. Something is blocking the light. I blink. It's a face. It's a face I know. It's Dad! My new dad! Is he dead too? I look around. It hurts to move. Dad waves his hands in front of me. He's telling me to calm down? How? Why? I'm so tired. I close my eyes.

I open my eyes. Dad appears. He's smiling. Mom appears beside Dad. They're both smiling but also crying. Mom rubs my head and I fall asleep. I don't think I'm dead. Too many people are here.

I can't breathe! There's something in my throat! Then something comes out of my mouth and something else is put on my face. I can breathe again. I fall asleep again.

I startle awake. I'm cold. I'm wet and I'm cold. I'm scared! There are hands on me, holding me down. I kick and fight as hard as I can. It's not very hard because I'm so tired and weak. Soon the fight goes out of me and I just let it happen. I start to cry as I feel my clothes pulled off of me. But then, there's another shirt put on me. Nobody does what my first dad did. They just cover me with a warm blanket and I feel a cool, damp cloth on my head. It feels so nice. I fall asleep.

I open my eyes. It's dark, but there's a dim light in the room. I look around. This isn't my room. This is a hospital! I try to sit up but I'm not strong enough. I must have made a noise because Mom's in my face, smiling. Her hands are moving. I know I should know what this is. I do. But she's too fast. I blink and shake my head. Will she know I need her to go slower? She smiles at me, pats my forehead and gives it a kiss, then sits back and starts making the hand movements again but slower. Right. They're words. Okay.

'For four days all by yourself," Mom was saying. "You had a really bad infection in your foot and it got into your blood. You were very, very, very sick. We were so scared we were going to lose you."

Tears fell from my eyes and Mom's.

"Your fever finally broke yesterday and you were all covered in sweat and chattering, so we got you changed, which you fought so hard that we, Dad and I, knew you were going to get better."

"Why I lost?" I signed clunkily.

"You don't remember what happened?" Mom asked. I shook my head.

"Melanie," I finger spelled. "I remember the name."

Mom smiled sadly at me. She took a deep breath and started again a little slower and started from the first day at school.