𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐰𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 & 𝐂𝐢𝐠𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐬 | 𝐕.𝐇

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Maddy's pov

To say that the past year has been interesting and chaotic would be a massive understatement.

I had grown a lot on tiktok, surpassing 1 million followers and growing a fanbase of my own. Thomas had offered me a spot in the hype house as a real member and not just in by association which ruffled a few feathers at first for people outside of the house, but everyone eventually grew to accept it.

The hardest part though, was seeing your ex everyday.

Vinnie and I had broken up just a little before I moved into the house. We both mutually decided this, but that doesn't mean there weren't hurt feelings on either side.

I had never expected things to end the way they did. Honestly, I don't think either of us really did. It wasn't like a huge fight or some dramatic fallout. It was just... time. That was what we both said when it happened, but deep down, I'm not sure either of us really believed it.

When I got the offer to join the hype house, I instinctively went straight to Vinnie to tell him, though, being in the house he probably already knew but he was happy for me, excited for me even. But when I moved in, everything shifted. Slowly at first, but then it was like the ground beneath us cracked wide open.

Sometimes, I find myself missing him so much it hurts. Even when he's only in the next room over from mine. There are nights when I lie in bed, staring at the ceiling, wishing I could feel his arms around me again, the way they used to hold me so tightly like everything was okay in the world. But it's not okay anymore. Seeing him, hearing his voice, it's like a reminder of what we had and what we lost. I've cried more times than I'd like to admit, sometimes in the middle of the night, when no one's around, wishing things were different. Wishing I didn't have to let go. But I did. And he did, too. It's like this ache that doesn't quite fade, no matter how many times I tell myself I'm fine.

But, I've also been going to therapy for a while now, something I never thought I'd do. At first, it felt weird, like I was opening up all these parts of myself I didn't even know were there. But over time, it helped me unpack things I'd been carrying around for years— insecurities, doubts, unresolved feelings. For the first time in a long time, I feel like I can breathe. I feel more emotionally stable, more in control of myself than I ever have. I've learned how to handle my emotions, how to stop letting them dictate my actions. I'm not perfect, but I'm better. More mature, more aware of who I am, what I need, and what I'm willing to accept.

I know Vinnie has grown too. I've seen it in him. We've both had to go through our own journeys to get here, but the difference is clear. We've matured, each of us in our own way. He's not the same person he was when we broke up, and neither am I. And maybe, just maybe, we'll both be better for it when the time comes, whenever that is, to cross paths again. I don't know what the future holds, but I'm okay with it now. I've learned that I can handle whatever comes my way, with or without him.

One of the biggest things I had to work through in therapy was the whole mess with Aaron. I didn't even realize how much it was eating at me until I started unpacking it. The betrayal, the anger, the hurt— it felt like I was carrying this weight I couldn't shake. At first, I didn't want to forgive him. I thought if I held onto that anger, it would somehow make me stronger, like I could protect myself from getting hurt again. But therapy taught me that holding onto that kind of bitterness wasn't protecting me— it was just keeping me stuck.

So I worked on letting it go. Forgiving Aaron, forgiving everyone involved in that mess, wasn't easy, but it was necessary. I had to face the fact that some things happen that are out of my control, and all I can do is decide how I respond. I didn't do it for them. I did it for me. Forgiveness didn't mean I had to forget or let them off the hook— it just meant that I wasn't going to let them hold any more space in my heart, especially when they didn't deserve it.