Middle Fingers Up // Billy Hargrove x Reader

𝑪𝑯𝑨𝑷𝑻𝑬𝑹 𝑭𝑶𝑹𝑻𝒀-𝑭𝑰𝑽𝑬

The air had been thick with tension between the two of you as you sat around the fire, almost suffocating as you scrambled for things to say. There was so much you wanted to ask him but for some reason the words died on your tongue, so you left shortly after with a promise to call as soon as you had spoken to Theo.

He scribbled his number on an old gas station receipt after explaining briefly that he no longer lived across from your family and then let you leave without another word. It was dark and you struggled to find your way out of the forest, but managed after a while to get back to your car and then home. You felt drained and stressed out all at once; the events of the day leaving everything up in the air for not just you, but Theo also. 

When you get back to your parents and up to your old bedroom, you smile in the darkness at how nothing had really changed. From what you could see in the dim glow of the nightlight, the room was almost exactly as you left it - if a lot cleaner, and you felt a wash of nostalgia rush over you but also a wave of sadness. You missed being a teenager, when things weren't so complicated.

Theo was fast asleep on your bed, curled up under your mothers arm with Winston by his side. Your mom stirs when you come in and disengages as best she can, checking twice that you were okay before she leaves.

By some miracle, Theo stays asleep while you get changed and ready for bed, only shifting once you're beside him to lay on your arm. "Mommy?" He grumbles quietly in the darkness, not opening his eyes but lifting a hand to rest on your arm to confirm it was you. 

"Hi, buddy. It's late, go back to sleep. I'm right here." You reassure him, running your fingertips over those perfect ringlets atop his head. He dozes back off without another word, the soft snore he elicits making you smile into the darkness.

The glow of the nightlight cast his features so beautifully; he looked so adorable and sweet, so innocent and serene in his sleep and your heart swells with your love for the boy. He was your whole world and you so badly wanted to see him happy. 

You were thinking about Billy again, and who could blame you after today? 

The defensiveness you felt over wanting to keep Theo free from hurt was natural. He'd never had his dad around and although you knew it hurt him to not have Billy around, he was happy enough with how things were. You were just worried that it wouldn't just be you Billy hurt this time if it ended badly again; it would be Theo as well and you couldn't bare the thought of that.

A soft sigh escapes your lips as you frown, running your fingertips over the boys chubby little cheek. You loved him so much and so desperately wanted him to be happy, to give him everything in life that he wanted and you knew how badly he wanted to know his dad. 

You fall asleep with the same worries mulling over in your mind, curling up tightly with him as Winston nestled into your legs. 

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Theo was patting his hand against your face in the morning, only lightly to try and encourage you to wake up. "No, let me sleep." You grumble; still not warming to the idea of ever being a morning person. He lets out a quiet giggle and nudges your arm gently. "Wake up, mommy." He coaxes you, moving to stand on the bed beside you and begin jumping up and down.

"That's it -- come here, you-" You grunt, sitting up sharply to pull him back down onto the bed and tickle his sides. He squeals loudly, hardly able to fight you off from how much he was laughing and in your tired daze you were grinning as well, trying desperately to pry your tired eyes open. "Morning, buddy." You laugh as you drop to hug him, his arms wrenching around your neck in hopes to win in your little play-fight. 

When you're free of him, you finally get up and feed him, wash him and get him dressed for the day. It was Thanksgiving so your family were all ridiculously busy trying to get ready for the day, meaning you got to hide out and play mom as an excuse to be lazy. 

You're in the living room, slipping on some shoes to take Theo to the local park for a few hours when you think about whether or not you should invite Billy. Theo was sat on the couch, petting the dog when you came over and knelt in front of him, placing your hands on his knees to get his attention. "Kiddo, there's something I want to talk to you about okay?"

He nods his understanding, fixing those baby blue eyes on your own as he grinned down at you. "So, there's someone here in town that wants to meet you. Someone you've been wanting to meet for sometime. It's, umm--" You pause, tension halting your tongue as you try to think of how to word it. "It's your dad, buddy." You continue after he doesn't say anything for a beat, "You don't have to go, but I'll be right there with you the whole time if you do want to."

"Will I like him?" His smile has dropped now and he seemed nervous, twiddling his fingers in his laps as he avoided looking at you. He was shy and unsure, which was beginning to make you feel the same. "I don't know, but do you want to find out?"

His slow nod wasn't entirely convincing, but the even slower grin that finds its way onto his features makes your shoulders relax at least a little. "Can we go to the park now?" 

You couldn't help but chuckle at the lack of attention he had, but how could you blame him with how young he still was? You often forgot from how well he could talk and understand you so soon, but it was the little moments like this that reminded you. 

Theo stays with your dad, attempting to wrestle the giant man, while you head upstairs to find the number Billy left you last night. When you find it, you call him from the phone in your room and it rings twice before that familiar silken voice comes drawling through the phone. "Hargrove residence." 

"Hi, umm-- Billy? It's (Y/N)." 

There's a shuffling sound on the other side of the phone and he clears his throat, tone quiet as he spoke. "Hey-- you okay?"

"Fine. I just... I spoke to Theo. He wants to meet you. Are you free today?"

"Yeah, of course. Where?" You could tell without being there that he was smiling by the way his voice had lifted. It was almost sweet.

"Are you sure? It's Thanksgiving, we can meet another time."

"No, it's fine. Let me know a time and a place, I'll be there."

"It's kind of short notice, but we were just heading to the park near my house. The one with the slide."

"Sure, yeah, I'll be there in about fifteen. That alright?"

"No problem. See you then," Your throat felt thick as you hold onto the line, waiting for another response. Your heart was racing with apprehension for the meeting, but for some reason you couldn't bring yourself to hang up. "See you then..." He trails off, but doesn't hang up either. There's a moment that feels like forever as you wait to hear more, before you realise how fucking ridiculous you're being and just hang up before you say something stupid. 

Your head was all over the place and you needed to bring yourself back down to planet Earth. You try Eddie's line quickly, wanting to discuss it with him first but there was no answer, even on the third try, so you leave it at that. You felt bad disturbing him today and figure you can just talk to him tonight or tomorrow.

For now, you head downstairs and watch quietly as Theo plays with your dad, a small and affectionate smile on your lips.

"Come on, kiddo. Let's go."