Ellianna
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I did it, I had told him everything, it was terrifying and freeing all at once. I hoped he would believe my story, the truth the true story, and not the rumors that we're spread around at school. But I didn't have high hopes after all the track record I had with people taking my side was small, practically nonexistent in fact.
So I sat there next to him a few tears escaping my eyes as he looked at me, his brown eyes a swirl of emotions. Anger, empathy, sadness. I just didn't know how many of those emotions were meant for me. But then his strong arms wrapped around me and I felt my body tense.
"I believe you Elli, every word. And I'm so sorry you had to go through that, no one should have to go through that." I almost couldn't believe my ears, he believed me. I let myself relax and breathe out a sigh of relief. I let myself soak in Shane, his scent his strength, it all seemed surprisingly right.
"Thank you, I've been waiting two years for someone to say that, just so I didn't feel alone." Shane placed his hand on my cheek and brought my eyes to his. It was then I felt the closeness of our position. And butterflies arose in my stomach.
"Your not alone Ellianna, you've got me now. I promise." His voice got lower and our faces got closer, I was almost certain he was going to kiss me. And I was going to let him, I wanted him to kiss me. I wanted to know if his lips were as soft as they looked and if when they touched mine there would be fireworks and everything in this world would be right.
But he didn't kiss me he did the opposite he pulled away, he removed his body from mine and he stood up. Leaving me sitting missing his warmth and longing for a kiss I obviously wasn't going to get. I sat there confused staring at him, he began to pace a bit.
"I'm sorry, Ellianna." He told me I stood up too so I could meet his gaze. "Why? Maybe I wanted you to kiss me." I countered hoping that would be enough for him to wrap his arms back around me and satisfy my longing for his touch.
"No, I'm not going to do that to you, I'm not going to hurt you like that. like I hurt her." Now I was really lost. It was almost like Shane had entered a different state. He wasn't mentally here with me anymore his mind was somewhere else. And I understood it was now my turn to listen to him.
"Shane, what are you talking about?" He walked over the railing of the platform and rested his elbows on it. Staring out in my backyard. I approached him and stood next to him resting my hand on his back, which seemed to bring him back to reality.
"When I lived in Jefferson I had a girlfriend her name was Brianna, but before that, we were best friends. She was my science decathlon partner the smartest person I ever met, she helped me through the hardest thing I've ever had to go through in my life and I fucked it all up." He told me and I couldn't help but wonder what his vauge answer meant. But I wanted to know, didn't I deserve that I just bared my soul to him he could give me a little piece if his.
"What happened?" I asked hesitantly, wishing he would look into my eyes, but he stayed detached from me and distant, a stark contrast from his attitude towards me when I was telling him my story.
"You can't tell anyone here okay? I'm trying to change the person I was in Jefferson, that's not who I am now." he told me and I wondered what could possibly be so bad that he had to give me a warning.
"Okay, I won't say anything. I promise." I told him as I shifted so that I was closer too him, our shoulders brushing each other. "This past April I got in a fight with Brianna, who did nothing wrong and we were at this party she left and then I just made a string of bad decisions which ended in me cheating on her. I'm not proud of how I treated her because she was so perfect and I ruined her. She's never gonna trust the same ever again, I don't know if I trust myself."
I couldn't imagine Shane being the type to cheat, he was always confident and kind he had been nothing but nice to me since he got here even when I wasn't nice to him.
"Did you love her?" I blurted regretting asking the question as soon as I said it. Shane finally looked at me his eyes wide. "Im sorry I didnt mean to," he cut me off. "Its okay, i dont mind telling you." He awnserec sweetly then taking a deep breath.
"I did, she helped me through a lot of shit, I re payed her by being an absolute asshole. That's why I'm not trying to be in a relationship right now, that's why I'm not going to kiss you Ellianna." just because he would kiss me dosen't mean we would have to date, but I understood where he was coming from he had been through some stuff only 6 months ago I could tell he was still healing I was willing to give him that time. Besides I didn't know if I liked him anyway or if he was just nice to me and a good friend.
"It's okay, I don't need you to kiss me, we can just be friends, I think we could both use a good one of those." I said smiling, he smiled back at me his strong confident smile that I was beginning to become accustomed to.
"I think your right, we'll be good friends." he stuck out his hand and I took it and we shook on it. Solidifying that we're friends nothing more. And I was okay with that, even if in the back of my mind I wanted him to kiss me.
I looked out onto the sky it was now dark out with silver stars dotting the horizon. "It's getting late and I still have homework." I said hinting that it was time for us to part for the evening.
"You want a ride to school tomorrow?" he asked me, I was hesitant to accept knowing that Colin would be there too. We had been uncomfortably riding together for the past few weeks but now thst shane knew everything, i felt like it was weird for me to still be around Colin. I guess Shane knew how felt from the look on my face.
"Dont worry I'm gonna talk to him." he told me, I didn't know how that would fix the problem but if take what I could get. "Yeah sure a ride would be great." I said accepting Shanes offer acknowledging his mustang was much better than the bus.
"Okay then, I guess I'll see you for school tomorrow then." he said shrugging is broad shoulders. I know we agreed to be friends but I couldn't help myself I wrapped my arms around is torso and embraced him he returned the gesture.
"Thank you Shane for listening to me, for believing me. I appreciate it." I told him I felt him embrace me a little tighter.
"Anytime, what are friends for." he told me as we released each other. I let out a deep breath. And then said goodbye as he climbed down the ladder of my tree house and hopped back over Colins fence. I had told him everything, and it felt good to get it off my chest, to have someone believe me. It felt even better knowing I had a new friend.
