Discovery | Albedo's Descent Book 1

Chapter 13: Wander and Wondering

Albedo wondered and wondered what Kaeya's tattoo would look like. He personally didn't know what everyone's constellations were and what they looked like. Lisa's was an hourglass apparently... but was that supposed to say something about her?... He didn't know.
Would Kaeya really show him? Was the question. Kaeya said he would and he wasn't known to be a liar, so maybe? But Kaeya had seemed rather embarrassed about it earlier... There was no way to tell and Albedo's curiosity was only growing.
They had made it to the "T" pile. Unfortunately, it was one of the biggest piles of them all. It had taken a while to get through the 'S' pile as well...
Lisa sighed, "I am not looking forward to this..."
Kaeya shook his head, "not at all."
Albedo sat down, "the longer we procrastinate, the longer we'll be sitting here."
Lisa quickly hurried off, "I'm going to get us tea really quick!"
Kaeya laughed, calling after her, "trying to get out of it, are we?"
She just giggled as she disappeared from view.
Then Kaeya remembered what Lisa had asked him to do. He did want to know... but he also wasn't sure that Albedo would tell him. "That thing that Lisa got rid of, a crystal I think? You said it was feeding off of your emotions?"
Albedo nodded, "that's what Lisa told me, it feeds on negative emotions."
"Then... why were you sad?..."
Albedo paused, "everyone is always a little bit sad..."
"... Lisa told me that Klee had been crying because she thought she had hurt your feelings," Kaeya said carefully, "did she?"
Albedo shook his head, "no... Last night when I was putting her to bed, she was talking about how she missed her mom..."
"Oh..." Kaeya could definitely see how that would make Albedo sad. It reminded Kaeya of how he had lost all his parents...
"I guess you could say that I was feeling a bit lonely..." Albedo spoke very quietly.
Kaeya felt like he was melting, but not in the "oh I'm so in love" way. In the "I'm said because you are sad" way.
"Albedo," Kaeya felt like reaching out towards him, but figured that wasn't what he would want. "You know I'm always available. I'd be more than happy to keep you company."
Albedo smiled down at the book in his hand, "thank you, Kaeya..."
"It's nothing, really. I hardly have any duties anymore," he rubbed the back of his neck as his face grew pink.
"You were right," Albedo looked over at him, his smile lingering, "you are kind."
Kaeya couldn't meet his eyes. Now he was melting in the other way. He couldn't take much more of this. He just really wanted to throw himself at Albedo and never let him go.
Lisa returned and handed out the tea. She wondered if... Well, Albedo didn't scar, but could he burn? She wasn't about to try to burn him, but it was an interesting thought.
Albedo paused as he lifted his teacup to his mouth. "Oh... I do have another tattoo..."
Kaeya looked over at him, "really?"
"I had forgotten..." Albedo set down his tea. "Well, not really... but I was distracted..." He removed his vision, placing it in his pocket. He shook his coat off so it rested in his elbows. Then, he lifted his hands and began to unbutton his shirt. [I'm assuming it's buttons? There is no way someone could slip that on and off...]
Kaeya opened his mouth, but his voice betrayed him. He wasn't even sure what he was going to say. But he felt his face getting red as Albedo's pale fingers undid the first two buttons.
Albedo pulled the top of his shirt open, revealing his collarbones. There was a small tattoo over his left collarbone. It was a small, golden flower.
Kaeya wasn't sure what kind of flower it was, but it was pretty.
"Who did it for you?" Lisa asked, leaning forward. Then she noticed something right below it. It was a dark line. Did he have another tattoo?...
No. This was different... It had definition. It reminded Lisa of how jars would get minor cracks... what was worse, it seemed to be coming from where his heart was. Or should be.
Albedo started fastening his shirt back in place, "I did."
Lisa blinked, "what?"
Albedo smiled, "I had a mirror."
"But still..." Lisa chuckled, "that's very impressive." She saved her concern for later. She hoped Kaeya had noticed it too. Though, he was probably distracted by seeing more of Albedo's skin. She narrowed her eyes in delight towards Kaeya, "your turn."
Kaeya forced a laugh, "I don't believe you've finished your own turn."
Lisa rolled her eyes and quickly pulled her sock off. "There," she smiled mischievously, showing off the purple rose over her ankle. It was a lot more detailed and beautiful than the drawing she had done.
Kaeya frowned a little bit.
"What is it, Kaeya? Embarrassed~" she struggled to pull her sock up all the way. She sighed on the inside, maybe she should stop eating all those cakes Sucrose made for her...
Kaeya folded his arms, "it's just that you guys have small, cute tattoos. I feel left out."
Lisa chuckled, "that was your own choice, Kaeya."
He sighed, "I guess so..."
Albedo placed his vision back in place. Then, he looked over at Kaeya, "go on."
Kaeya felt even more warm. He looked back over at Lisa, who just smiled. He heaved another sigh. It was just a tattoo, he really wasn't sure why he was so uncomfortable with the idea of showing Albedo... maybe he was worried that Albedo wouldn't like it. Or that he would think differently of Kaeya because of it.
Kaeya reluctantly [I still have no clue how Kaeya's outfit works- WHY IS IT SO COMPLICATED AND HARD TO UNDERSTAND-] peeled off his layers and turned his back to Albedo. His face was incredibly red as he pulled the long portion of his hair over his shoulder, running his fingers through it nervously.
Lisa smiled deviously to herself, her eyes trained on Albedo, who hadn't said anything.
The alchemist's face was calm as he gazed at Kaeya's bare back. He wasn't sure what he expected, but he hadn't thought a constellation could be so... complicated. He noted that the white ink contrasted very nicely with the Captain's darker skin tone and fit his aesthetic very well. He wasn't quite sure why Kaeya was so embarrassed about it. It was rather pretty, in Albedo's opinion.
As Albedo had pointed out earlier, Kaeya did have a muscular build, from years of riding horses, no doubt. He wondered if Kaeya was disappointed that all the horses were gone. He also noticed that, just as he imagined Noelle would be, Kaeya's back was also riddled with scars from previous lacerations.
Albedo noticed something else. He smiled, "Kaeya, you're a liar."
Kaeya grew stiff, "what have I lied about?"
"You have another tattoo," Albedo moved to sit at his side, taking his upper arm and examining it.
Kaeya held his breath, almost shivering at Albedo's touch.
"Kaeya," Lisa gasped, "how dare you. I haven't even seen that one." She moved closer to look at it with Albedo.
It was an elaborate compass with the chain creeping around his upper arm.
Kaeya chuckled nervously, "it's new. It's barely been two weeks since it was finished..." He trailed off, staring at Albedo.
His eyes were focused on the design on Kaeya's arm. He seemed to be taking it all in, "it's so intricate... how long did it take?..."
"Uh, altogether, probably five hours," Kaeya thought to himself, "we had three different sessions."
Albedo nodded as he traced the designs over Kaeya's arm without touching him.
"It barely hurts anymore," Kaeya smiled, pressing Albedo's hand to his arm.
Lisa's lips split into another mischievous smile.
Kaeya threw her a glare. It wasn't like he was doing anything weird. She just giggled in response.
Albedo hesitated, apparently surprised by the texture of Kaeya's skin. He hummed in thought as he pulled his hand away. He looked around, grabbed his notebook, and began to write something down.
"What are you writing?" Kaeya asked.
"Just some observations," he paused, "I have to start a new page..."
"For what?" Kaeya blinked.
"The portrait I want to paint..." Albedo said slowly as he scribbled.
Kaeya's lips curled upwards as he pulled his shirt back on, but left his unnecessary layers off.
Albedo looked up, then seemed surprised.
"What?" Kaeya asked.
"It's nothing..." Albedo looked back at his book, "I just hadn't noticed how long your hair is... because you have all those distracting colors on all the time..."
Kaeya chuckled to himself as he pushed his hair off his shoulder and behind him once again.
Lisa smiled to herself as she moved back to her original spot. She noticed that they were finally almost finished with the 'T' books. She let out a relived sigh as she sat back. It wouldn't be too much longer until they were done sorting all the books in the library.
Albedo closed his notebook, stealing another glance at Kaeya. "I... remember Klee telling me that she wanted me to teach her how to French braid so that she could braid your hair for you..."
Kaeya chuckled, "really?" He seemed to find the idea amusing.
"Yes," Albedo spoke quietly, "but I don't think a French braid would work on your hair... because of the way it's layered..."
"Mhm, I suppose so," Kaeya nodded, "Klee does always insist on braiding my hair for me whenever we're exploring. She always says that it's going to get tangled if I don't." He chuckled, "she's so tenacious that way."
Albedo smiled, nodding.
"She's such a fiery little girl, I don't know how you two keep up with her," Lisa giggled.
Kaeya gave a light laugh, "she doesn't ask for much. You just need to be fast enough to catch her."
Albedo's smile grew, "I want to thank you, Kaeya, for entertaining her so often. It really takes a load off of Jean and I."
"Oh, it's nothing, really," Kaeya said, getting a little embarrassed, "I actually have fun watching her."
"I'm glad it isn't something you hate," Albedo went back to organizing. "Out of everyone in the Knights, I think you are her favorite."
Kaeya laughed, "you would think she would listen to me more, then."
"She doesn't listen to you?" Albedo seemed surprised, "she always does what I ask..."
"Well, doesn't everyone?" Kaeya asked. "Everyone wants to be on your good side. You're so calm and collected, and you are incredibly talented. You're the type everyone likes."
Albedo seemed shocked as he looked back over at Kaeya, "really...?"
Kaeya nodded, "yes, it's quite obvious. Everyone greets you with a smile no matter where you go. I've never once seen anyone say 'no' when you ask for a favor. And you're so..."
Albedo waited in anticipation. Why did everyone act so nicely towards him? Everything Kaeya said had been true... he just hadn't noticed it...
Kaeya lost whatever he was going to say as he stared into Albedo's curious expression. He just really wanted a hug. Wow, it had been a while since he had thought that...
"I'm so what?" Albedo asked.
"Ah..." Kaeya racked his brain, "well, you're so smart. Maybe people are hoping it'll rub off onto them."
Lisa snorted from where she sat. That obviously didn't happen. Or, at least, Kaeya hadn't been affected.
Kaeya sent her a glare, his face getting red.
"Oh... I see..." Albedo began to zone out as he delved deep into his thoughts. "I had never suspected that as an option..."
Kaeya smiled, "it really does baffle me how you are so oblivious to your own self sometimes."
Albedo's eyes widened a little, "am I really... that oblivious?..."
Kaeya nodded, "completely. Oftentimes, it seems you are off in your own little world..."
Albedo's eyes wandered away in what seemed to be shame.
"Albedo... are you hiding from something?..." he didn't want to pry, but he just wanted Albedo to trust him...
Albedo's wistful expression immediately changed. His eyes narrowed and his lips grew taught. He slowly gazed back at the Captain with a look that paralyzed him from head to toe. "What do you mean?"
Kaeya felt like he might start shaking if Albedo stared at him like that for long. Was this what he was like when he got angry?...
"I mean..." Kaeya fought to get the words out without sounding different, "there must be a reason you're off in dreamland all the time?"
Albedo faltered, returning to normal, "no...? I don't believe so... I just get distracted by my thoughts sometimes..."
Lisa chuckled, "your thoughts are probably just loud."
"What?..."
Lisa nodded, offering no explanation whatsoever.
Albedo pursed his lips.
Those cold, thin, lightly pink, perfect lips. Kaeya's eyes locked on target. He had a thought. Since Albedo's skin was so soft, his lips must be, too, right?
Then, those lips turned in Kaeya's direction, parted, and began to move. It took the Captain a long moment to realize Albedo was saying something. He blinked, "I'm sorry, what?"
Albedo seemed surprised that he asked him to repeat himself. "Oh, I was just pointing out that... you are often in 'dreamland' yourself... what is your reason?..."
Kaeya forced out a laugh as he rubbed the back of his neck, "oh, just random thoughts like what I'm going to eat or who I should bug." It wasn't like he could say that he was thinking of Albedo... well, he could. That actually sounded like it would be a decent pickup line... 'oh, what am I thinking about? You' He snorted on the inside.
Albedo gave a nod of acknowledgment, "that makes sense."
Lisa smirked, "he is probably always fantasizing about the person he fancies~"
Albedo's hand twitched from where it was at his chin, a smile creeping onto his face. "That's right. Kaeya, how often do you switch who you like?"
Kaeya felt attacked. He folded his arms, "it's not my choice..."
"Fufufu! He's just embarrassed because he's been trying very hard to catch his latest crush's attention!" Lisa chimed in uninvited.
"Li-SA!!!"Kaeya exclaimed.
Albedo seemed surprised, "really? Kaeya is having trouble with his love life?"
Lisa nodded, "mhm, mhm! His crush has been eluding his clutches for some time now!"
"Stop!" Kaeya leaned over to Lisa, covering her mouth, "and It-it isn't a crush!"
She pushed him off, laughing, "then what would you call it?"
Kaeya felt himself getting progressively more red, "it- it doesn't matter. It isn't your story to tell..."
Lisa giggled, "then why don't you tell it yourself~"
"No," Albedo shook his head, "I understand."
"You do?" They both asked.
"I'm not particularly close to either of you, so it isn't my business who Kaeya might... like. Besides, I don't really wish to get involved in something so... dramatic..."
Kaeya felt his stomach drop and his heart sink. Lisa hesitated before asking, "dramatic?"
Albedo nodded, "people tend to be... over the top when they... have a crush... It consumes them if they aren't careful. I... I have important things to worry about, and responsibilities... I don't want to distract myself..."
Lisa blinked, "Albedo... have you never been in love?"
Albedo shifted, "ah, no..."
Lisa nodded, "if you ever had been, you'd be saying something very different."
"I would...?" He seemed mystified.
Lisa smiled, "when you're in love with someone... you want to spend every moment with them. Just being around them makes you happy... When you're with them it's like... it's like nothing else matters except them. Jean... Jean is the reason I get out of bed most mornings... I do it for her..." As Lisa spoke her face got pink, but she didn't look ashamed at all. She seemed proud, oddly...
Albedo didn't understand. How could one person be so important... Well, Klee was really important to Albedo, but even then... He pushed Klee to the side when it came to finding answers in order to see his teacher again... even if it was just once. But that wasn't at all like what Lisa had described... His teacher didn't make him happy just by being around... She...
Albedo really didn't understand what Lisa was saying at all. It was so hard to wrap his head around.
"Right? Kaeya?" She nudged him.
He nodded, "y-yeah... you explained it really well, I think..."
Lisa bit her lip, "Albedo?..."
"Yes?" He snapped out of his head.
"Have you really never... loved someone?..." Lisa asked.
Albedo shook his head, "not in the way you have explained it..."
Lisa paused, "hasn't anyone confessed to you before?"
"Confessed?..."
She nodded, "mhm, like they tell you that they like you?"
Albedo paused, "... no, not that I can think of..."
Lisa felt desperate, "I mean, there has got to be at least someone who's loved you? Maybe they just couldn't find the courage to tell you?" She didn't know why this bothered her so much. She didn't even care about bugging Kaeya right now. She just...
"Well... what do people typically act like when they're... in love?..."
Lisa paused, "they try their best to be around the person they like as much as they can. Often staring at them..." Her eyes drifted to Kaeya in an apology, "Some people can't talk straight or think straight around them. They get embarrassed or nervous easier around them. And more self conscious."
Kaeya stared at Albedo. How did he not know these things?... He was so observant... he decided to voice his thoughts with a smile. "Albedo, are you sure you aren't just trying to get Lisa to spill her secrets so you can tease her?"
Albedo blinked, "I don't wish to tease her... It is true that I had an idea of how someone in love would act... but I wanted an expert opinion..."
Kaeya found it difficult to act how he wanted, his smile wavering, "mm, is that so?" So how had Albedo not noticed that Kaeya was so deeply in love with him?... Was Albedo ignoring it on purpose? Did he hate that someone like Kaeya liked him? Or maybe he really hadn't noticed?... that didn't seem likely anymore... He didn't know what to think or how to feel.
Lisa set down the last book silently. She smiled, "one thing is for sure. Between Klee and the person who loves you, you should never have to feel lonely again."
"What?..." Albedo looked up at her with wide eyes. Was that really true? Was there a way to never feel alone again?...
Kaeya felt his face get as red as a tomato. No. Lisa wouldn't... would she...?
Lisa nodded, "there's someone here in Mondstat who's in love with you. They're just being shy about it."
Albedo looked like Lisa had answered a question he hadn't asked; confused. Then recognition flashed over his face, "oh, there... there is? Well, I am aware that many people... like me. But someone... feels like that towards me?..." The way he said it were as if he couldn't understand why or how. As if the idea were too outrageous to be possible.
Lisa nodded, "and I'm sure they can't stand being apart from you. They're trying to gather their courage, but it's taking a while. Just you wait Albedo, you'll be happy in no time!"
Albedo blinked, "happy...? If someone loves you, then you're happy?..."
Lisa didn't like how seriously he asked the question. She nodded nervously, "sort of... if you love them back, then of course you would..."
Albedo seemed a little disheartened, "but if... if they don't know me, then how could they know they... love me?..."
Kaeya's eyes widened. Was Albedo scared that if he fell in love with someone and they found out he wasn't human that they wouldn't like him anymore and leave? That was so sad! "Don't worry, Albedo," Kaeya smiled, "if someone truly loves you, they aren't going to leave you over something so silly."
Albedo's eyes widened at him, "what..."
It sounded like something cracked. Probability just an old shelf shifting or something...
"Ah," Albedo's hook his head, "then... what if I don't..."
Lisa smiled, "who knows, they just might change your mind. You might end up falling in love with them eventually."
Albedo seemed shocked, "it..."
"Love isn't always immediate. Some people take a long time to fall in love," she stood with a warm smile, "I never thought Jean was my type. I thought she was all stiff and bossy. But now... I see her completely differently."
She got an idea. "Just like Kaeya."
"Huh?"
"He seems like a disrespectful guy who does some pretty bad stuff regularly. But he really isn't like that. That's only how he acts. He just acts all tough to look good," she giggled.
"Hey, I-"
"Well, maybe he does do some pretty bad things sometimes," she added playfully as she lifted her hand to her mouth.
Kaeya was about to make a retort when Albedo chuckled. He seemed to find this rather funny, "I think I understand now."
Lisa nodded, "I'm glad."
Albedo came to a conclusion, "I haven't felt romantically towards another person. But... I have Klee and I love her very much. And I think that's all I need."
Even though he wanted to see his teacher again so badly... he was only seeking validation from her. He was only going to disappoint himself by setting such an absurd goal. Even if he did find all the answers in this world... how would she know?
Lisa could see the sincerity in Albedo's eyes. He must have come to some profound conclusion. She nodded, "I love that for you."
Albedo laughed a little bit at how she worded that.
Kaeya, on the other hand... Yes, he felt happy because Albedo looked happy... But if Albedo wasn't trying to pursue having a romantic relationship... who was he to think that the Alchemist would make an exception just for him?... He felt a little deflated.
Lisa sighed, "I know it's early, but I think we should be done. I'm exhausted and I'd like to leave smiling while I can."
Albedo stood, agreeing. He bid them both farewell and left.
Then Lisa's smile melted off as Kaeya stood.
"Actually..." she murmured, "maybe I won't leave smiling..."
Kaeya gave her a confused look.
"Did you see it?"
"See what?" He asked.
Lisa paused, "Albedo... it looked like there was... a crack over his... heart..."
Kaeya blinked, "Lisa? Are you okay?"
She spoke softly, "I'm just worried... I mean, Albedo can probably repair himself and all, but... it's just kind of suspicious to me that that crystal showed up and was eating his emotions and then what I saw..."
Kaeya seemed to be trying not to think about it, "Lisa, I think you need to go to sleep..."
"You're right... it might not have been anything," Lisa clasped her hands, "I hope I was only seeing things..."
"Goodnight, Lisa," Kaeya departed.
Lisa stared at the floor, clutching her arms tightly. Had that crystal actually become harmful?...