Run To You

Chapter 34

Kirstie looks at me, her eyes uneasily shifting from looking into one eye to the other. She gives me a small smile, and I kiss her forehead.
"It's going to be alright," I assure her, and pull her closer in the hospital chair.
"It's your mom!"
"Well, you're my wife and you seem uneasy. Isn't it in the contract somewhere that I have to comfort you?"
"Contract? How romantic."
"You know I was joking."
"Yeah, I know."
My mom and dad come into the waiting room. My mother looks at me and gives me a broken smile, and hugs me.
"My baby," she whispers, and kisses my forehead. She pulls Kirstie in for a hug.
"What was the diagnosis?" Kirstie wraps her arms around my waist. I pull her closer by the shoulders.
"Well it's not pneumonia," she smiles, her bottom lip trembling, "it's lung cancer."

"Avi," Kirstie whispers in my ear. For one small moment, nothing happened, it's all a dream. But then, reality slams into you, hard.
"Hey, babe," I smile and open my eyes. She kisses my forehead.
"How are you holding up?"
"Eh, fine, considering my mom's health isn't going too well."
"She'll be okay."
"And what if she isn't, huh? And what if she dies?" Tears well in my eyes, and I turn so my back is to my everything. "Just leave me alone, okay?"
"Avi, we have a show tonight."
"I know," I attempt to say, but the tears stream down my cheeks.
Kirstie flips me back over, and snuggles me into her chest. I soil her eighth grade t shirt with my tears.
"It'll be alright, baby."

"Hey, Avriel, we need to tell you something. Get Kirstin, will us?" my father's voice trembles. I call in Kirstie, and put him on speaker phone.
"Well, the cancer is further along than they thought, and there's nothing they can do about it. She's, she's dying."
Kirstie looks at me. She's my wife, my girl, the mother to my children. She's what my world revolves around, what I live for. If she were gone, I would have nothing. No reason to get up in the morning. I empathize with my father. Savor every moment you have with her. I take her face in my hands, and I kiss her softly. She kisses back, her tongue slithering into my mouth.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Kirstie furrows her brow at me. We were about to, you know, get down and dirty, when she stopped.
"Do you?"
"You've been through trauma. Maybe this is your way of dealing, maybe another way. Just tell me, okay?"
"I don't know, babe," I cry, breaking down into tears.
"It's okay, baby. It's okay."

A/N
I'm sorry. My mom had cancer, but she survived. One of my oldest friends mom, however died of lung cancer. I decided to take all the feelings we both felt and put them here. It's really hard to understand if your parent hasn't gone through it, because it's different. You just feel hopeless, you know? Like, nothing you can do can help. Anywho, more chapters to come!! Sorry for bumming you out.

~Rachel🍓