Forbidden Love (18+)

"She's your mrs, not mine."

Adam

"Get up." I hear that voice again. "Get your weak ass out of your bed and get on the floor!" It gets louder and I can feel the sweat dripping off of my body and into my sheets. I can't move yet though — and I'm so tired of having these life-like dreams. Or should I call them memories? I know that this is a dream, but I can't wake myself up.

"You'll get on the floor and do 100 push ups. Maybe I'll make you do more for being such a delinquent!" He screamed in my face as my body dropped to the floor — push-ups had gotten so easy for me in the army — I could do them in my sleep ( kind of like what is happening now ).

My brain needed to wake up. My body was awake but my mind hadn't caught up yet. "The reason your mother sent you here is because you're a useless excuse of a man." His voice was calm now. Calm and dangerous.

And then my mind went to my mother. I don't have many memories of her but the ones that I do have are disturbing to say the least.

"Please don't say anything Adam. If he hits you I can't do anything." She begs me, crouching down before me. Seven years old— that's how old I am in this memory.

And the he that she's talking about is her boyfriend.

I look down at my hands that are shaking before me. I can see my dirty bedsheets in the background and I can almost smell the cigarettes that my mother smoked. "Why can't you just leave him mummy?" I hear myself ask.

She stands tall then, huffing at my question. "Adam stop asking questions that you don't understand. If you want food in your belly and clothes on your back then this is what we have! It isn't my fault that your dad was too much of a bitch to stay with us." She whisper yells.

My dad — the man who killed himself because he couldn't deal with my mothers psychotic episodes anymore.

I didn't know then, but I know now. I didn't know that he'd hung himself just a year after I was born. I found out when I was around thirteen I think.

"Now go to sleep." She orders, leaving my room in a hurry.

I hear the front door open and close, and then the rest of that night was filled with banging and screaming and crying. Like many nights were whilst growing up.

•••

After finally waking up, I had a shower and made some toast before heading out to meet Liam. We were going into town today to find him an engagement ring. He had no idea what kind to get her because as much as Phoebe loved her clothes and shit, she wasn't so much as interested in Jewellery.

"I have no idea man. I've got a kid now, I don't think I could ever put him through what we both went through in there." Liam says whilst scanning over all of the engagement rings.

Army. He couldn't put his son through the army is what he meant. "I still have nightmares now." I say. "And I don't even mean about the wars, just the training was brutal enough." I mutter, also looking at the rings.

"Me too, man. Me too." Liam sighs, glancing to his side at me. Liam was more of a brother than a friend, we'd been through a lot together. I nod my head as recognition and then we go back to ring hunting.

Liam points at one. "That one looks very Phoebe." He says, sounding more of a question.

I shrug. "She's your mrs, not mine." I chuckle.

"And when are you going to find your lady? Huh? It's been how long since Brit—", He begins, but I don't want him to finish her name.

"I'm not interested in women." Is all that I say. I hadn't slept with a woman in a long time, and of course I'd had many advances from women, but I don't like the idea of sleeping with a woman without getting to know and like her first.

Brittany was the only woman I'd ever been in a real relationship with. I'd slept and liked many more women, but I'd only had one relationship. She'd cheated on me with one of her friends brothers — cheated was an understatement, she had been having an affair throughout our entire four year relationship.

And since her, I'd shown no interest in anyone.

"It's been what? Two years?" Liam mutters before asking the woman for one of the rings behind the glass, that was faster than I'd thought it would be. "It's about time." Liam adds.

I say nothing about that though. "That's a nice ring." I smirk. Liam laughs and nudges my arm.

"You're an ass." He states.

I laugh. "Yep." I admit.

•••

Liam and I had taken the time to look through some shops, Liam wanted to get Phoebe a little gift as well but he had no idea what. "What about a nice candle?" He wonders out loud as we walk around Asda.

"Liam, I have no idea honestly." I admit, chuckling as I follow him around the shop. My hands were in my sweatpants pockets and my eyes were glancing between the items we passed and my friend who was frantically thinking and looking. "She likes perfume." I suggest.

Liam looks over his shoulder. "She does like perfume." He says, as if shocked that he hadn't thought of it sooner. "That doesn't say that I think she smells though does it, because she smells incredible." He worried out loud.

"Fuck me." I groan, head falling back. Why was he being so damned dramatic? Buy a gift and move on. He'd just spent a grand and a half on a fucking engagement ring, what else would the woman need? Nothing.

And then I hear a soft voice that shocks me. "Christian?" And I almost don't realise that Christian is me. I do though and turn around to face one of my students.

"Kaitlin?" I smile, putting on the friendly professor act almost immediately. "How are you?" I ask.

She smiles back and I can't help but to notice that she's wearing more makeup than usual. She looked different. "I'm fine, thanks." I watch as she has a quick side glance towards Liam, who I know will be watching this interaction with a smirk on his face. "I know that you told me to drop the essay off at your desk today, but before I caught the bus I nipped in here and saw you and just thought—", She began whilst reaching into her back to pull out the essay that was due yesterday.

I'd totally fucking forgot that I told her I'd be at my office today. She doesn't know that though. "Oh that's perfect — it saves me a trip to campus too." I take the papers from her hold. "Thank you." I nod.

Kaitlin smiles again, her eyes haven't left my face since she'd glanced at Liam. Why did she seem so different outside of the classroom? I allow myself to rake over her attire — she was wearing a lose black dress and some black flats. Her strawberry blonde hair was curled and she was wearing makeup.

"No problem Christian." She waves herself off, and disappears into a crowd of shoppers.

Before I turn to face Liam, I already know what look will be sitting on his face. "Wipe that smirk off your face and hurry the fuck up." I sigh, glancing down at her essay.

For the rest of the morning, I follow Liam around whilst reading Kaitlin's essay — which is surprisingly good.

I can't wait to read the one she was actually motivated to write.

Kaitlin

Christian looks even better outside of campus and I couldn't help but to notice how he had thrown his head back before I'd spoken to him.

That grown and curse will forever be stuck on replay in my dirty little mind.