Benefits

Thirty One

Demi

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Odell visited me everyday until he had to get back to New York for pre-season training. His support honestly means the world. I don't know when we'll next see each other and the goodbye really broke my heart but I know that he will always be a friend, and I will always be in love with him.

I had been booked into an in-patient rehab facility in Utah and that was where I headed once I was discharged. It was the beginning of August that I flew to Utah with my parents. I signed my discharge papers and then headed down to the car that Max was driving to the airport. Going to rehab isn't something I think I need but I want to keep everyone around me happy. I want them to not have to worry about me.

The facility was almost in the middle of nowhere but it looked peaceful. I signed myself in and then was given a few moments to say goodbye to my parents.

"I'm proud of you, Baby. We'll come to visit when we can" I nodded, lightly smiling at my Mom who had tears pouring down her cheeks. She wrapped her arms around me in one final hug. It was when she pulled away that I turned to Dad.

"We're so proud" I wrapped my arms around his waist.

"I love you both" I tried to push back the tears I could feel forcing their way forward. There was this heaviness in my heart that had me conflicted. I honestly don't think I need rehab right now but I'll do it to keep them happy.

My room seemed a lot more homey than the rehab centre I was in years ago and the view was incredible. I took a seat on the bed once one of the nurses left and just stared out the window. I released a breath as a tear rolled down my cheek. I can't believe I'm here again. I'm here all because I wanted back control in my life. I wanted to make my own decisions. This wasn't supposed to happen. I was supposed to be happy.

I was able to unpack for a little until a nurse came to give me a tour of the facility. I was then taken to see my counsellor. Talking to him made me realise that maybe I do need rehab. I don't want to be relying on drugs to make myself happy. I want to find peace with my sobriety. I need to be sober for myself and not for other people. I need to want it. In 2017, I had asked for help and I was called selfish on multiple occasions. I was never truly supported in my addictions.

I spent hours of my day in counselling, whether that be individual or group sessions. I met some inspirational people during my first month in rehab. I had regular visits from my family which helped to keep my spirits up. Every Sunday we had some time to ourselves and after a month, I was able to actually leave the facility for the day.

Demi Lovato seen in public for the first time since her near fatal overdose

Demi Lovato is slowly inching back into public life just a month after her near fatal overdose.

The Sober singer, 26, was spotted during an outing from her rehab facility. She wore a green jacket, black leggings, a hat and white sneakers. Lovato appeared happy and healthy.

"Come in" I glanced up from my journal, that I have found comfort in. It's nice to get my feelings down on paper.

"Hi Honey" I lightly smiled at Amanda who poked her head around the door. "You have a visitor."

"I didn't think my parents were coming today" I closed my journal and placed it on my nightstand as I climbed out of bed. Amanda didn't reply, she just flashed me a light smile. I followed her from my room and down towards the main area. I was led into a private room, it took a moment for me to register who was stood by the window. He had turned around at the sound of the door and a light smile graced his face.

"Hi Baby" my heart completely melted as tears welled up in my eyes. He softly laughed as I took slow steps towards him.

"Odell, what are you doing here?"

"I missed you" my lips twitched into a smile which he mirrored. I slid my arms around his waist as his wrapped tightly around me. His embrace was warm. "You look so good, D" he pressed a soft kiss to the top of my head.

"Yeah, I feel good. I feel better" I pulled away from the hug. "Come on, I'll show you around" I took his hand in mine and intertwined our fingers as I took him on a tour of the facility. I ended the tour in my room. "Has the football season started back up yet?" I questioned as I sat on my bed and Odell admired the view out of the window.

"Yeah, started on the 9th. We lost to Jacksonville Jaguars" he glanced back at me with a smirk. "We have Dallas Cowboys on the 16th" I bit down on my lip as I smiled.

"Cowboys are gonna win" he rolled his eyes and laughed as he shook his head, slowly beginning towards me.

"Nah, don't think so" I softly giggled as I nodded. Odell took a seat on the bed beside me and placed his hand on my thigh. I slid my hand over his and gave it a light squeeze. "How you finding it here?" I glanced to meet his gaze and nodded.

"It didn't take long for me to realise that I actually need to be here. I wasn't in control, I've never been in control" I began to play with his fingers. "My life has always been planned out for me. I've always just been told what to do and what to wear. I thought I found myself when they left but I actually lost myself" Odell's thumb lightly caressed the back of my hand. "I was drinking until I couldn't walk straight. I was injecting and smoking. I was..." I stopped myself as tears welled up in my eyes. "He took advantage of me."

"Who?"

"My dealer" I swallowed as a tear rolled down my cheek. "He got me high, raped me and then left me for dead."

"If I ever see the guy, he's fucking dead" I released a breath and leant myself into his side. "He's a sick twisted bastard, Demi" he pressed a soft kiss to the top of my head and he tightened his grip around me. "He ain't ever gonna hurt you again, I swear. You just gotta focus on you, Baby" I nodded as I moved myself away from his side.

"Thank you for coming. You've made my fucking week" he lightly wiped my cheek and then leant in to kiss me. It was soft and sweet but it finished quicker than I wanted it too.

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