forty

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juniper

after me and billie got down from the roof, we went inside and we straightened up a bit. we had both cried a fair bit this morning, so we wiped each other's faces clean. billie had then asked to braid my hair, a prominent pout on her face as she had looked up at me with big, pleading eyes.

i couldn't say no to that, even if i wanted to.

we had then gotten dressed. billie did end up wearing the red sweatshirt of mine that she wanted to wear, paired with some pants that she had left over here. i threw on some baggy jeans and her hoodie that she let me borrow back at the fair, which is practically mine now. i do get her to wash it and spray some more of that cologne on it every so often though.

before i even thought of anywhere to take billie out to, i took her out to get some breakfast. i had been up since before seven this morning; i couldn't sleep much last night. billie had been up since eleven or so. it was now nearing two p.m, and neither of us had even ate yet.

i guess it would be considered lunch now... but billie wants waffles, so either way, we're eating breakfast.

we ended up going to waffle house, because it was pretty close, and we were both craving it. we're sitting in one of the booths now, though billie is sitting beside me, instead of in front of me.

once we had ordered our food, billie grabbed my hand. she frowned though, and she looked over at me. "you're still shaking..." she had a worried expression on her face.

"i'm fine," i forced a small, fake smile. "it's just a little cold in here."

i'm still shaken up about everything that went down this morning. i shouldn't have told her all of that. i don't know why i did. thinking back on it, it was like one second i was still sitting on my bed, and then the next, i was kneeling in front of her while tears streamed down her face.

as soon as i realized that she was crying, i knew i had fucked up. i knew that i had taken it too far, so i had stormed out of the room. i had tried to pace around the house to calm myself down, but it really didn't work.

billie said that it was all okay. i don't get it. i don't get why she forgave me and why she didn't leave me...

billie's brows furrowed as she looked up slightly to meet my eyes. she then covered my hand with both of her's, and she held it to her chest in an attempt to warm it up. i stared at her in awe as she did.

"is your other hand cold too?" she tilted her head. "here, gimme it."

she's seriously the sweetest ever. what did i do to deserve her?

even though i really wasn't even cold, i still gave her my other hand as well. she just looked so cute, and she was being persistent with "warming up" my other hand as well.

"you're fucking adorable," i murmured as i kissed her head. she beamed as i did, then gave me a quick peck on the lips.

"so, what are we doing after we eat? have you figured it out yet?" she looked at me expectingly, but also patiently.

"i was thinking we could go bowling?" i tilted my head.

she seemed to consider it for a second, before her brows knitted together and her shoulders slumped. "i suck at bowling though."

"mm, me too," i shrugged. "two negatives make a positive though, so in theory, we should be great," i joked with a stupid smile, which made her burst into a fit of giggles before she hid her face in my shoulder.

✧༺♥༻✧

"well, i hate to say it, but my hypothesis was incorrect," i pursed my lips as i watched billie's ball go into the gutter. she didn't knock over a single pin.

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