i should never have checked my dms. death threats apon death threats. people slut shaming me.
i'm 15.
_
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matildapravongg~ hey guys! just letting everyone know that i'm going to be taking a little break from social media, its nothing against anyone. this is just for my mental health as it has been getting worse just recently. thankyou for all the love and support<3
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i post an old picture of me instead of one of me right now. i don't need people seeing that i'm letting thing hate get to me. because i'm not. i can't let the hate get to me.
if that keeps repeating in my head, it's not getting to me, it's not getting to me. then why is it getting to me?
i need a shower. it's three o'clock in the afternoon and i'm only just getting out of bed. i walk into the bathroom that's just down the hall, and turn the hot water on.
i stand there for what seems like hours, before realise that there's not point in having a shower.
there's no point in doing anything.
i check my phone again. i'm getting hundreds of dms of people replying to my post. more than half of them are negative ones.
i must accidentally press on one of the dms, and the negative texts show up on my screen.
how are people capable of saying such cruel things?
i blink back tears as i find myself opening all of the dms, i don't know why i'm opening them all. i just am. as i read them all it feels like i'm not in my body. like i'm another version of myself watching the real me read the messages.
silent tears spill out of my eyes and i must not realise until i'm choking on sobs.
"tilly?" i head tristan's voice echo through my ears, "can i come in?" he asks from the other side of the door. i nod my head, only to realise that he can't even see my face.
where is my mind?
i try to compose myself as i wipe the tears away from my eyes, "yeah" i mutter slightly, the second i reply to his question, tristan opens the bathroom door slowly.
"hey, tilly, what's wrong?" he immediately crouches down so he's sitting on the floor with me, "it's nothing, i'm being stupid" i begin to sob even harder. "i'm sure your not being stupid at all" tristan shakes his head, turning to face me, "tils, what is it?" the nickname rings in my ears like alarm bells going off.
"please don't call me that" i shake my head quickly, turning my head to face him, only to meet his eyes which look like they're filled with sadness. "only he calls me that" i refer to mason, turning my head back down to my lap to fidget with my rings.
"sorry" he whispers like it was a crime to call me tils. "it's ok" i half smile at tristan, not holding the smile for long before tears start to pour out of my eyes again.
"hey, hey it's ok" he wraps one arm around my shoulder, and i rest my head on his. "what's wrong with me" i sob, choking on my tears, "nothings wrong with you tilly" i feel tristan shake his head slightly.
"well there must be because i'm crying over stupid hate comments" i say the word stupid like it's a swear word. "and a stupid boy"
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A/N sad tilly< sad tristan< hate comments< her being in denial of liking mason< her being in denial of being vulnerable< having to disable insta comments<
ANYWAYS sad chapter:/ i felt like i should add a little more depth into tilly's personality and how she reacts to all the hate. as well as having a more meaningful chapter.
ty all for 6k reads!! i love every single one of you<333333
