Shkrrrrrt. Bakugou heard the can of whipped cream before he rounded the corner and saw Kaminari sitting on their couch and spraying it directly in his mouth. Kirishima was next to him looking very sympathetic.
"Oh no," said Bakugou, turning around and walking back toward his room.
"Bakugouuuuuu," Kaminari whined with his mouth full, a few white flecks escaping much to Bakugou's disgust. Kirishima just patted Kaminari's arm sympathetically.
Bakugou sighed. "I've worn out my emotional battery," he complained.
"But-" Kaminari's eyes got huge and sad. He looked like a kicked puppy, and- wait a minute. He wasn't wearing eyeliner or a choker.
Bakugou stomped over and sat on the chair by the couch. "Fine, I give. What's up?"
"I asked Shinsou if he'd like to hang out today, you know, because of what day it is, and-"
"Because it's Sunday?" Bakugou asked, confused.
"We hang out every single weekend!" Kaminari cried, wiping some whipped cream off of his chin.
"Oh, right. How could I have forgotten," Bakugou said as un-sarcastically as possible. He failed spectacularly, but no one seemed to notice.
"Anyway," Kaminari said, spraying more whipped cream in his mouth. "He said he's busy. He said he's got plans with an old friend of his who came to town for a bit, which means they've got history, how can I even compete-"
"You're upset . . . because Shinsou has an old friend?" Bakugou asked incredulously.
"What if he's in love with them?" Kaminari wailed. "What if they're childhood best friends who drifted apart and now they're reconnecting and confessing their love for each other and then they'll get married-"
"This is Shinsou we're talking about, not Bakugou and Izuku," Kirishima said, and Kaminari sprayed whipped cream out of his mouth as he burst out laughing.
"Shut the fuck up," Bakugou scoffed. "You're gonna clean that up, Dunce Face."
"Worth it," Kaminari said, high-fiving Kirishima.
"Looks like you're cured," Bakugou said flatly.
"You can't cure a broken heart." Kaminari actually choked up. "I should've known he'd break my heart, walking in here with his floaty hair and the dark circles, why are dark circles so hot? Why do I like my men looking like they haven't slept in months? It doesn't make any sense."
"It really doesn't," Kirishima said sympathetically.
"He said I was pretty!" Kaminari wailed. "He'd do my makeup, I'd cook his pizza rolls- I mean, I microwaved them, but still! I doubt his old friend knows how much he loves pizza rolls-"
"Actually, they probably do," Bakugou said helpfully.
"They probably do!" Kaminari choked out, and Bakugou rolled his eyes as the can let out a shkrrrrt and then fizzled out, releasing nothing but air.
"I think it's gone," he said.
"And now I'm gonna die alone- oh! He texted me." Kaminari dropped the empty can and picked up his phone. "He asked if I'm free after they hang out! He's secretly in love with me, I just know it. Do you think he'll tell me tonight?"
Bakugou sighed. "I need new friends."
"Shut up, you love us," Kirishima said. Kaminari was too busy texting furiously.
