Bakugou couldn't see. The all-too-familiar ringing in his ears felt as if it was filling up his brain and preventing him from thinking coherently, and everything was blurry and out of focus. He was asleep, he was dreaming, this was all just a nightmare- it had to be.
Bakugou!
It echoed in his head, that scream he heard nearly every night in his sleep. This wasn't real.
Something warm trickled down over his brow bone and around his eye, and he reached a shaking hand up to touch it. His fingers came away slick with blood. Wait.
He was in the front seat. That had never happened before, he'd never been in the passenger seat in his nightmares, he'd always been in the back with-
Deku. He had to find Deku, now.
"Bakugou!" a voice called. He barely registered it as Kirishima, and as he saw that the other boy was out of the vehicle and therefore likely safe, he ignored it. What had happened? Throwing up in the hallway, staying up with Deku, breakfast, driving home- Deku was in the back seat.
He fumbled frantically with the seatbelt as he turned, straining to see around the headrest to look at Deku. His eyes glanced over Shouto but moved on when he saw that he was conscious and unbuckling himself, and they came to rest on Deku. His heart seemed to come to a complete stop inside his chest. Deku's eyes were closed and he was slumped sideways, blood trickling down his face.
Oh god. Oh god, no. No, no, no, this wasn't happening. Shouto was frantically looking Deku over, afraid to touch him, and Bakugou couldn't watch, couldn't bear the sight of the other boy. This was all his fault, he couldn't be near him.
"Deku!" Shouto called to him, trying to wake him up.
"Is he okay?" Kirishima asked, his head appearing next to Shouto as he leaned into the car.
"He's bleeding and unconscious," Shouto said, still looking him over.
"Shit. Someone already called for help," Kirishima said. "I fucked up my ankle on the brake pedal but I'm fine otherwise. You okay, Shouto?"
Bakugou's vision was leaving him again in his panic, the air rushing out of his lungs faster than he could get it back in. [This is all your fault! You did this to them, you did this to us! You ruin everything!]
Kirishima looked over at Bakugou, and the sudden realization that the other boy was not okay seemed to hit him. "Hey, no. No, no, no. Do not go there, this is not your fault," he said firmly, but it was too late. Bakugou was struggling with the bent passenger door, frantic and strengthened by his own panic. He finally forced it open and fell out onto the asphalt, his hands stinging as he caught himself.
"Bakugou!" Kirishima yelled after him, and then Bakugou took off running.
He had to get away from Deku.
Bakugou had no idea how long he'd been running or how far he'd gotten- all he knew was that he couldn't see and he couldn't breathe, and that he was away from Deku. But not far enough, never far enough again. [All you ever do is ruin people's lives!] He was more staggering than running now, clutching his chest and blinking quickly as if that would clear his vision. He had to stop for a moment, feeling as if he couldn't go on any longer. His head fucking hurt .
He couldn't go back, couldn't be near [you'll only make his life worse if you stay in it!] Deku. How could he have been so [evil, worthless, cursed] stupid?
His eyes cleared a little just in time to see the ground rushing up toward him- or rather, him rushing down toward the concrete sidewalk.
"Young man!" a deep voice called, and then Bakugou collapsed, everything going dark once more.
