Madder than a Hatter (Descendants)

Liar, Liar (Edited)

It wasn't long at all before she was staring into that scepter of hers (man, I really wanted to call it a staff) and laughing again. She was really leaning into the evil-laugh portion of villainy.

"What're you doing?" I asked softly.

"Just watch," she said proudly, which I took as an invitation to sidle up next to her and look at the green stone looking glass thing. I watched as she used her magic to take over a suit of armor standing directly in front of the whole villain kid gang. "Do you like a prince, Mal?" she asked. "How about a knight in shining armor? Or...knights?"

She began to laugh again as all the other suits became possessed by her magic.

And it triggered another freaking song-and-dance number.

"God, I hate living in a musical fantasy," I groaned.

Audrey looked at me funny. "A what?"

"Uh, nothing. A jester is supposed to say nonsensical things, right? I'm getting all the gunk out of my system so I'm shiny and perfect for your court. I'm sorry. I'll stop talking now." I began to back away slowly, grateful that she was focused completely on her entertainment.

"No!" she growled suddenly, and I assumed Mal had done something magical to mess with the suits of armor. This was immediately backed up when she let out a short screech of rage.

It hit me a few minutes later that the sleeping spell had no doubt spread over the entirety of Auradon, along with whatever else Audrey had done, and that the young villain kids (and Doug) were probably asleep in Evie's cottage.

I got up on the table and stretched out flat on my back, putting my arms behind my head in a makeshift pillow.

"Oh!" Audrey cried again, still staring into the green part of the staff. I wondered what kind of crystal it was. "You think you're on the right track? You're not going anywhere!" She looked up at the spineless loser, who was still cowering in front of her. "Let's mess them up a little."

"I say we go back to my place and maybe binge-watch some TV?" he suggested weakly.

"I think that's an excellent idea," I murmured, and was ignored by everyone.

"Huh? Or maybe order some stuff online," he continued. "Yeah? Yeah?"

"I think that's a less excellent idea."

Audrey raised her hand and lowered it, making the spineless loser drop down to his knees. "Gah! Or what about pizza, huh? Yeow, you don't like pizza. Salad! Sal-"

She used the staff to blast him backwards into a closet and locked the door, despite his loud protests. She laughed again and spun around as he pounded on the door, begging to be let out. I was starting to feel a little sick again.

She looked back into the staff and did some kind of magic with it. Unfortunately for me, she didn't say whatever she was doing aloud, but I certainly knew when it fell through, because she let out another shriek of rage that could have been "NO!" or a curse word. Either one was equally likely.

"Hey, uh, Audrey? I think I'll just get in your way if I do anything," I said, getting Audrey's attention. "Like, there isn't really much I can do to help you with your whole hostile takeover thing, considering I don't really have magic. Can I stay here if you go someplace else?"

She cocked her head dangerously and I knew I had made a mistake. "Why, so you can run off and tell your friends what I'm doing?"

"Uh, no-"

"Not a chance. But if you want to stay here so badly-" her eyes flashed and I swallowed hard- "you can just take a little nap."

She raised the staff.