Baby Deyes: A Zalfie Fanfiction

Week Ten: Blood and Babies

Ten weeks.
Two, no, three, people.
It was about to end.
I hope to God it doesn't.
I'd suddenly woken up earlier that night to find blood on the sheets.
Alfie and I had shared a look that said one thing.
"This is not good."
We were in a room alone. Doctors had taken the necessary items (blood etc.) and then left.
I was curled up in Alfie's arms.
Hello, Harry. Hang on in there. Please stay. I love you. Ten weeks. Love. Strong word. But it's true. I do. I do. Wedding day. Wedding night. You. 2, 4, 6, 8, 10. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. What am I doing? I love you. Love. Strong word. Not again. I'm Mummy. I love you. That's Daddy. He loves you. Please be okay. Can you hear me? Are you there? I'm going crazy. That blood didn't mean anything, did it? Will I ever meet you? Will you ever meet me? Will I see your first smile? First word? First tooth? First steps? Are you in there? I can't breathe.
"Zoe," a voice says. "Cam down. Breathe. Its just a panic attack. A silly panic attack. It's Alfie. It's okay. It's just you and me. And the baby."
Panic attacks. Mummy gets them. You won't, hopefully. I'm calm. I'm calm. Maybe if I say it enough it will come true. Because I'm not calm. Because I know, with an inescapable dread, that you're going, that I'm losing you. Like Catherine of Aragon. Anne Boleyn. They lost babies. Why am I thinking about Tudor queens? Oh God, I want strawberries. I really want strawberries. Alfie, don't leave me. Harry, don't leave me.
I can breathe again.
See? It's alright, Mummy is better now. Except for the fact that I'm talking to something that I don't know still exists. Louise. Tanya. Darcy. It's New Year's Eve tomorrow. The last day of 2014. There'll be fireworks and kissing. I'll kiss you, if you stay there. I'll kiss you over and over because I love you. I'm very repetitive today. It's two a.m. now, so its New Year's Eve tonight. Exciting, huh? I've been sitting in this room for an hour. It's Tuesday night! How busy are they? A young woman is losing the one thing that matters most to her. They'll still have a broken bone tomorrow, but I might not have my baby. I'm going insane. Just somebody please please please tell me that my baby is okay.
"Mrs Deyes?"
I snap out of my reverie. The doctor looks very serious.
I start laughing with insanity. "He's gone, isn't he? My baby is gone. Gone. Harry. My baby..."
Alfie stared at the doctor in disbelief.
"Alfie..." I lifted my head from his shoulder.
"No, Zoe. You still have your baby. But we need to keep you in until midday to monitor you. Everything seems healthy but we just need to consolidate that knowledge. Okay? There's a vending machine just outside, we can get a mattress in for Mr Deyes, and we need to connect you up to this monitor."
I gaze at the wall, stunned. It's okay. My gut instinct was wrong. Thank God.
It's okay.
"We'll check up at your 12 and 20 week scans. Just to make sure, we also need to scan you now." I briefly heard the doctor say, before I collapsed, sobbing, into Alfie's arms.
Hi guys, I thought I'd download a game and it's taking three hours so I wrote you a juicy little chapter! I hope you enjoy it!
Did you hear? Zoe and Alfie are being made into wax figures! Yay!
Oh my God, it took longer to edit than it did to write! (Damn you foreign autocorrect that has an icon under the "z" icon that I conveniently press each time I write "Zoe".)
Like I said, I hope you enjoy it and I will see you soon!
Kisses!
Claudia xx