Baby Deyes: A Zalfie Fanfiction

Week Eleven: Winter and Wiring

Alfie and Joe were sitting in the lounge shortly after ten a.m. when there was a sudden crash and a clang. I rushed downstairs to see Jim clutching his wrist. Alfie has hurriedly trying to gather the pieces of a bulb that appeared to have dropped from the light.
"What happened?" I asked, trying to prise Jim's fingers off his arm.
"I stood up too quickly and hit the shade." Jim nodded at the ceiling, the shade swinging slowly. I yanked his fingers away and a fresh spurt of blood sprayed my wrists. I ignored it, though my heart was beating fast. There was a shard of glass protruding from the deep slice along his forearm.
"I think that might need stitches." I breathed slowly, trying to calm down. "I'll call Tan."
Joe was whisked off to hospital.
"What now?" I asked, staring hopelessly at the broken bulb in Alfie's hands.
"Well, we don't have any more bulbs, there's a bright red stain on the rug and it's only 10.30 a.m. I say we have a hot chocolate and find the stain remover."
"OK. I'll dig in the cleaning cupboard."
Five minutes later I wandered back into the kitchen. Alfie was frantically stirring a hot chocolate and then let out a great sigh and let his exhausted wrists droop.
"Alfie, you're supposed to put the powder in after it goes in the microwave." I said, tipping the lumpy milk down the sink and starting again. "And we can't use the cleaner, it's not pregnancy friendly."
"Not risking it. I'll find some more." Alfie decided. "Great. So now we have to add find more stain remover to our list of things to do."
"I'm sorry, is my pregnancy a little bit of an inconvenience?" I grabbed him from behind and squeezed him tight. "I'm the one with mood swings and hormones from hell."
Alfie spun me around and gave me a hug. "I'm sorry it isn't as easy as we hoped it would be." He got down on one knee in front of me.
"Alfie, we're already married, remember?"
"Zoe! You ruined the moment! I was about to ask for your utmost forgiveness."
"You have my forgiveness." I answered.
"Come on. Better go."
Three hours and eight shops later we had found one bulb and zero pregnancy friendly cleaners. We decided to call a carpet specialist.
"Hi, I'm Dave."
There was a balding middle aged man on the step.
"Zoe and Alfie Deyes," I replied, shaking his hand. "Come in."
As I filled him in on the gory details he sucked in a good deal of breath and exhaled slowly, shaking his head.
"I'll see what I can do. But with this amount of blood I doubt much. And using pregnancy friendly chemicals could take longer."
I left him with a cup of tea.
Alfie was vlogging in the hall way. I joined him.
"Zoe, show the Zalfinians the baby bump."
I willingly pulled my top tight.
"There's still nothing there." Alfie said, pretending to look disappointed.
"There is, just the tiniest beginnings of a bump if you look further down." I outlined it with my hand, tracing it affectionately.
Around half an hour later Alfie cheered from the lounge. The stain had come clean off and a sweaty, beaming Dave knelt proudly at his toolbox.
"How much will that be?" I asked, fishing out my purse.
"Half an hour would be fifteen quid."
"Oh wow! We'll use your team again!" I chuckled, pinching a five pound note and a ten pound note from the depths. Then added a fiver as a tip.
"Thank you very much, Mr and Mrs Deyes. Don't hesitate to call me if the stain resurfaces - sometimes they fade and reappear. Goodbye."
The second we were alone Alfie grabbed a chair and dragged it into the lounge. He gripped the bulb tightly.
"Right, I'll just twist this... Oh, shit."
There was a bang, another clatter and a few swear words all in one second. The lights went out, leaving us it pitch black - it was nearly three p.m. and as it was January it was getting dark. I screamed and felt my way to the light switch. I flicked it on and off. Nothing happened.
"I've fused the fucking house." Came a low grumble from by the sofa. "Oh, shit."
"Are you okay?" I felt for my phone. "Do I need another ambulance?"
"No, I'm fine, but the bloody light's a write off."
My phone lit up the room.
"Siri, can you find the number of a local electrician?"
"Certainly," came the mechanical voice from the glowing screen, before listing a local number. I dialled it and explained what had happened.
Just as I ended the call there was a loud crash. I turned on my phone's torch to see a sheepish Alfie standing next to a chair that appeared to have been tipped over.
I began to laugh.
"What's so funny?" Alfie asked, confused.
"It's called hormones. They'll be prominent for the next thirty or so weeks."
"Oh, them." Alfie made a "grrr" face at me through the gloom.
Minutes later Karen was standing on our doorstep in an electrician's outfit and carrying another tool box.
"Eh, I'll see what I can do, love." She shook her head. "But he's fused t' whole house. And I'm reluctant to leave t' heatin' off while you's pregnant an' all."
Again I left her with a cup of tea and left. I decided to Google - my laptop had good battery - me and Alfie. Gossip was rife after the miscarriage tweets and video.
A news article popped up.
ZOE DEYES, LEADING VIDEO BLOGGER, PREGNANCY EXCLUSIVE!
I frowned. I didn't remember doing an exclusive.
"The UK's beloved Zoella, also known as Zoe Deyes, 24, has finally - after a long term relationship and marriage - announced her pregnancy with fellow video blogger Alfie Deyes, 21. Mr and Mrs Deyes are believed to be looking forward to the birth, in mid summer. Mrs Deyes has released her due date as 23rd of July. For more celebrities born on this day click HERE.
The couple also recently announced that there had been a scare, with Zoe saying: "In hospital after a miscarriage scare. All well but a little shocked." And Alfie continuing with: "Very sad to say that we have had a possible miscarriage. Everything fine, don't worry." These were posted on the pair's Twitter accounts the day after.
We give every condolence towards Zoe and Alfie, wishing them luck from all here at "Daily Brighton". To go back to the homepage, click HERE. To see similar stories, click HERE."
I closed the tab and went to Twitter to reassure everyone and tell them about Alfie fusing the whole house.
It was nearly five p.m. by the time the lights flickered on and Nala was curled up beside me. I was under a blanket, huddling with both her and Alfie to keep warm. We jumped out of bed and went down to thank Karen. Alfie had been taking her a new cup of tea every so often.
We paid her and she drove off, waving.
"Right, mister," I told Alfie, "No more Mr Fix it for a while."

Guys, I'm nearly at 1.67K reads, keep boosting 'em! New chapters soon!
Kisses!
Claudia