Bitter (wlw) (txs)

nine

Everything suddenly changed one day.

Me and Sam arranged to go out to the same bar we'd gone to the first time we went out.

Once we got there she used the same tactic to allow me in. She still hadn't told me what she'd whispered to the guy at the entrance.

"Why won't you tell me?" I laughed.

"There's nothing you need to know" she winked, looking for somewhere to sit.

We ordered some drinks. Well, she ordered a few more than me. I tried to politely ask her if she'd always drank so much and she kind of dodged the question, I honestly didn't know if that was worrying or not.

The relationship between us had changed like, a lot, since the first time we'd gone to that same place.

I was crushing on her that first time too, but not so intensely.

And I wasn't just attracted to her blue eyes, to her perfect hair, to her sharp cheekbone and to her flawless body.

I was attracted to her confidence, her knowledge of an insane amount of topics, to the passion you could sense when she was talking about literature in class, her way of trying to talk some sense into me when I panicked about stupid things, to the fact that she was literally stone cold all the time but laughed at the most random and dumb jokes.

I was head over heels for her.

I also used to be really scared of her, I wasn't anymore. Maybe just a bit.

As I said, she was as cold as an ice block back then, and she still was, but she finally seemed to express the slightest bit of emotions to me.

I didn't know she was going to be my professor. I didn't know she was ten years older than me.

I didn't know that the fact that she'd grab my hand and get really close to me would make me want to die each time, because I knew she wasn't doing it for the reason I wanted her to be doing it.

I still didn't understand what the reason she was doing it was.

She didn't seem like a person whose way of showing affection was physical touch.

But, once again, she didn't even seem like a person who wasn't aware of the fact that nothing could happen between us for various reasons.

She never showed any other signs of even wanting something, apart from the touching or the occasional teasing, whatever that meant.

I just knew that she was talking to me with her soft, warm hand on top of mine, and her deep blue eyes seemed to involuntarily attract my eyes towards them, and I kept getting distracted by the shape of her breasts peeking from the fabric of her vest, and, oh god.

This woman was going to be the end of me. I was stupid to think I could go on like that.

"Is everything alright?" I heard her say.

"Huh?"

"I just asked you a few questions and you've been staring at me without answering for the past like thirty seconds"