Bitter (wlw) (txs)

fifty-seven

sam<3: Is everything alright?

you: no

sam<3: :( Should I come upstairs?

you: okay

I only realized I'd been on the floor for an hour once I looked at the time on my phone, as I replied to Sam's texts.

She was fortunately on my doorstep within minutes, and I properly let her in this time.

"Baby..." she took my hands into hers as I immediately hugged her, burying my face below her shoulder and not even trying to contain my crying. "What happened?" she gently rubbed my back.

"I- I had to tell Mei...everything" I said between sobs, feeling like I couldn't even breathe properly.

"Okay, here's what we're gonna do" she softly took my face in her hands, rubbing her thumbs on my cheeks. "You properly rinse your face from all these tears now, then we can sit on your bed instead of just standing here and you can tell me everything, alright?"

"Okay" I sniffled, letting her peck the tip of my nose before I went to the bathroom to wash my face, just to almost get scared at seeing my face with bloodshot eyes in the mirror.

"Better?" Sam asked as I silently climbed onto the bed she was already sitting on cross-legged, lying down with my head on her lap and curling my body up.

"Mhm" I mumbled, allowing her to gently caress my forehead and run her hand through my hair.

"You don't have to tell me anything right now if you don't feel like it, and I don't wanna pressure you, but maybe I just wanna know if we're like, in trouble or something. She's not gonna report me, right?"

"No...she said she wouldn't" I reassured her. "I'm pretty sure she meant it"

"Okay, good. At least" she said.

"I just always thought I'd have time to prepare myself before telling her. It was all so sudden" I added after a few moments of complete silence.

"I'm sorry it had to go like that. I know how much you'd been thinking about that moment, and I can only imagine how hard it was"

"It was just unexpected. She randomly started to list all of my suspicious behaviors I thought I'd been able to hide well and it was as if my whole body froze. I couldn't think anymore. I'm almost glad you showed up because it just gave me a way to tell her everything directly, or I would have just stumbled on my words until I messily told her the truth after minutes of agony"

"Yeah, I'm sorry for not warning you I was coming. I take full responsibility for that"

"No, it's okay. As I said, it was almost better that way"

"But, uhm, how did she take it?" she asked.

"Not well. I mean, I think she took the part about me lying to her worse than the rest. She went on about the fact that if I was a good friend I wouldn't have lied to her for so long. And she was mad about her girlfriend knowing before she did, but when I tried to explain why she stopped me"

"What were you supposed to do? I'm sure she knows you couldn't really just tell her while I'm still your professor"

"Yeah, my hope is that she does realize that but was just too shocked in the moment to think about it" I sighed, moving from lying on my side to my back, so I could directly face her. "The next few weeks are gonna be weird, with her knowing and you still teaching to us"

"I know" she calmly nodded. "We'll be okay, though" she added, looking down with the same smile that would always make me feel more reassured than anything.