𝐴𝑑𝑑𝑖𝑐𝑡𝑒𝑑| 𝑅𝑜𝑔𝑒𝑟 𝑇𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟 ✔

XLIV

May, 1971

Days and weeks were passing me by, and every day I was losing motivation to even get up for work. I had stopped going anywhere, unless it was to work or bed. My skin was an unhealthy pale, with bags under my eyes, I was losing an unhealthy amount of weight, and I was barely sleeping. Every night, Roger would be sound asleep beside me, while I'd stare up at the ceiling, unable to just close my eyes and drift off.

The only time I'd see Vicky, Ashley and Fate was at work, and even then I hardly talked, I didn't have the energy to talk to anyone or do anything.

Roger was still keeping up his routine. I was at a point where I didn't even have motivation to attend his gigs anymore. We decided that I should still go to gigs with him and pretend things were fine around his bandmates, since he didn't want them knowing we were going through an extremely rough patch. And I had agreed for weeks now, until I just couldn't be bothered with anyone or anything.

In fact Roger had been gone for almost two days, it was the longest he'd been gone and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried. I was worried sick, I hadn't heard from him. Not a single phone call, and I was beginning to wonder if something maybe happened.

I was currently lying in bed, listening to nothing but birds chirping outside of the window and th sound of my faint breathing. I had the cover wrapped around me, as I thought about how things got this way between Roger and I.

I knew that I was living an unhealthy life, and I surely knew it was most likely affecting my mental health. I wanted to do something about it, I had been saving up for what felt like forever, to buy my own place, but my boss said I was working lazy and sloppy, and that if it carried on, they'd doc my payments.

When I started getting hungry, I sat up and walked over to the kitchen to make noodles, mainly because it was the only thing I could make.

I sat at the couch and began eating in silence. When I was done I headed over to the kitchen and washed the plate, storing it in the cupboard, before heading back over to the couch. I glanced over at the clock on the wall to read it was 3 o'clock.

I wasn't sure how long had passed, but I had heard the door opening, revealing Roger and someone, who were laughing about something. Rogers smile quickly faded, as his eyes landed on me, when Brian then came through the door.

"Hi, Alice" Brian smiled, politely, continuing to laugh about something he talked about with Roger.

"Hi, Brian" I returned his polite smile, although my voice was croaky and hoarse, like this was the first time I had spoken in year's.

"I thought you'd be at Ashley's house or something" Roger shared his assumption, looking down at his feet. So much for not wanting to showcase our rocky relationship in front of your friends.

"They were busy today" I shrugged. They weren't busy, not that I knew of anyhow. "Where were you? Why didn't you call me?" I asked him.

Brian gave me and Roger a quizzical look, looking back and forth at us. "You said you called her the other night? We were at Fred's house working constantly on another song" Brian informed me, furrowing his brows in confusion.

Roger shrugged in response, and Brian could clearly see that something was off between us. "Maybe I should start heading?" he offered, clearly uncomfortable with how we were acting.

"No, you can stay if you'd like" Roger said, sounding desperate for him not to leave.

"I'll see you at the studio tomorrow. By Rog. Bye Al" Brian slightly waved, before leaving.

Roger groaned, looking at me with disappointment. "Why did you have to act like that? He definitely knows somethings up now" Roger said, frustrated.

"Me?! You were the one acting like that. You basically just told him what was happening" I told him, equally frustrated.

"Well, what were you expecting me to act like?! 'Hi, honey, how was your day?'. It's impossible to act anything when you look like a literal corpse! All you do is stay in bed or work! And I have been begging for second chances like crazy!" Roger yelled. I stood up, in front of him with my arms folded.

"Well it's a bit tricky to give you a second chance, when you're still off shagging any women who glances in your direction!" I called him out, he looked at me stunned.

"What are you talking about?! I haven't slept with anyone in months!" he defended, prompting me to laugh. "What? Why are you laughing?" he asked, more calmly.

"Then, how come Fate saw you with some red-head, hm? And why are you always arriving home later? Or not coming back until the next day?" I asked, firmly, realising I probably sound like my mother.

"Because I'd rather be anywhere than here with you!" he yelled, with a look of instant regret. My heart stopped for a long moment of silence. Roger sighed, trying to calm down, "Alice, I didn't mean it like that-" he tried to explain but I quickly cut him off.

"Oh, no, I know exactly what you mean. You hate being with me, because I don't shrug it off and have enough self respect to not cuddle you with affection, every time you go off with another woman. That I don't stay at home, waiting for you, acting as if I know nothing about your cheating habbits" I told him, raising my voice.

He groaned, "you're twisting my words, Al! I do want to be with you! But I can't stand watching you basically harming yourself! You have one meal a day, and you never talk to me!" he argued.

"Because there's nothing to talk about! And I have more than one meal" I exaggerated, rolling my eyes.

"Oh really?" he asked.

Both of us fell silent, staring into each other's eyes, before I finally spoke up. "I can't do this" I told him, my voice hushed and hurt.

"Alice, wait! No, I'm sorry! I swear I'll do better! You can't leave!" he said, placing a hand on my cheek, reminding me of when he first apologized for cheating.

"Roger... Why can't you just let me leave?" I asked, trying not to show tears forming, as I gazed my eyes into his. His eyes always gave me some comfort.

"Because I love you!" he blurted, leaving me stunned and my eyes widening.