𝐴𝑑𝑑𝑖𝑐𝑡𝑒𝑑| 𝑅𝑜𝑔𝑒𝑟 𝑇𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟 ✔

XLVI

My head was lying on Rogers chest, listening to the gentle sound of his heart beating, and the soft snores, coming from him. I had spent the past ten or so minutes debating on staying for a while, or get dressed and sneak out.

I was tempted to just stay and lie here forever with him, but I knew I had to face reality and leave him eventually. No matter how much the thought terrified me and made me feel sick just thinking about it, I knew it had to be done.

I sat up and got changed into my work uniform, being careful to not make a single sound. I couldn't go very far, I would need to pack my clothes, but I knew it was impossible to do that without waking him, so I decided to pack up after work.

The entire day at work, I was panicking and worrying. I hated the thought of leaving Roger for good. My head tried to convince myself it's for the best, but my heart was on the brink of tears.

When work was done, I speed-walked to the flat, unlocked the door and grabbed on of my suitcases, throwing  my stuff in, with tears in my eyes.

"Well, I assume you're not packing for our honeymoon" I heard Roger state, from the bedroom doorway. Startled, I jumped out my skin and fell, from my crouch position, watching his hurt and upset facial expression.

"Roger... I thought you were at the studio" I said, looking down, guilty.

"Clearly. So, were you just going to leave without a word? Was I supposed to come home, and worry about where you'd gone? What was your big plan, Al? Go on, enlighten me" his tone was stern and angry, his arms folded, as he looked down at me.

"Roger, I told you this last night that I couldn't do this anymore" I reminded, running a stressed hand through my curly, locks.

"That was before I made love to you!" he stated, raising his voice slightly. I looked up at him in shock and confusion.

"Roger, you need to understand that sex doesn't solve all our problems!" I explained to him, exaggerating my hand gestures.

"Fine. Then, what about when I told you I love you? And that I meant it?" he asked, calming his tone.

I was unsure of what to say, so I stayed silent, as he sighed, taking slow footsteps towards me, before crouching down, next to me.

"You don't have to leave, Alice. We could go to couples therapy. We could try again, I'll do anything it tales to make it up to you I promise" he cooed, brushing his thumb over my cheek, trying to look into my eyes, but I refused to look up at him.

"Roger... this has to end. We can't be together, I told you. We're toxic and messy, and it isn't right or healthy for either of us. It won't work" I tried to tell him, but it was as if it went in one ear and out the other.

"No, you don't want it to work. It could, if you just gave it a chance!" he begged, his voice cracking.

"Rog, I wanted it to work more than anything. But it can't, we need time apart, space. If we're meant to be together then we will, when the timing is right. But right now it's not right." I told him in a calm tone, to which he finally gave in and agreed, looking down.

I placed my hands on his flushed, tear-stained cheeks and kissed his lips, softly, before picking up the suitcase and walking out, my vision was blurry, due to the tears working up in my eyes, as I glanced back, observing him in the same position, before closing the door and walking around the streets to Ashley's house.

I arrived at her door and chapped it, waiting a moment, before she answered, giving me a quizzical look.

"I think I'll take the latter option now" I said, letting out a breathy chuckle, as the tears finally started streaming down my face. She gave me a sympathetic look, before wrapping her arms around me, in comfort, as I cried.