Daniel Seavey I Italy

Chapter 19

The next day after a lot of water I drove to the lovebird suite to start packing up Molly's stuff. They were moving but didn't account for some time and would not have had the time to fully pack when they got back. So, I had the job of my dreams and got to pack and organize al of her stuff.

However, in less than 24 hours I managed to forget that Daniel was coming to see me. And mid-way through wrapping a glass he walked into the room. "Hey busy bee." The glass did in fact fall to the ground and shatter; I later wrote molly an apology letter for that. She wasn't that mad. Good thing she is in her love dove stage. "Since when do you use the term busy bee?" I said trying to clean up my mess "I don't know just slipped out" he got down to help me gather the glass. "don't do that you'll cut yourself." I warned him knowing that this kid will for sure be bleeding any second now. "I'll be fine." And as I thought he cut himself right after saying that. "Get up. You really need to learn to listen." I started lecturing him stepping over the glass and going to the bathroom. "Okay keep your hand over the water while I get the first aid kit." I immediately heard whining "but it's cold." I swear to God he is four years old.

"Okay this will sting a little so don't yell." As I dabbed the alcohol on his cut, I saw him flinch and his jaw clenched. Not going to lie that was kind of hot. "Please don't touch glass again. This should heal quickly, it's not that deep. But I don't want it to get worse." While I was putting away the band aids and other stuff, I felt his eyes burning a hole into the back of my head. "Could you stop starring?" "no." yeah definitely a four-year-old. "I thought you wanted to talk." Shit really was not looking forward to this. "Yeah. Could we go sit down somewhere else?" I asked not really wanting to have this talk in the bathroom. "No, I kind of like the vibe this place is giving." I looked at him like I was about to beat the living shit out of him, but he stood his ground.

So, I sat down on the floor and looking at the tile on the floor started my monologue all over again. "Like last time I hope you can listen and then I've you side, okay?" he nodded like last time. Well let's rip the band aid off. "I know that these conversations don't really go well for us, but I'll try my best not to be a bitch. When I met you, I was trying to find a new version of myself. Someone I was afraid of for most of my life. You were the first guy that gave a second glance in my direction, and I loved that. I felt validated and that perhaps I wasn't the problem. And then you kissed me, and it was like a spell that you cast. I saw how our lives would look like and the places that we would visit. I saw us trying to figure out baby names and our kid's weddings. And when my grandma died, I had to go back to my real world. I realized that at the time you would be a distraction. Mostly because I have no self-control if I let my feeling take over. It was easier for me to cut you off than explain everything. And I didn't really know what I was doing. I mean I was 18 years old at that time. So, I moved on. For the first few moths I couldn't get you out of my head. And we started hanging out more often I thought being your friend might be nice. And when I was ready for a relationship, or at least to try one out. You were with Nichole. So, I pushed my feeling away again kept on working. Piecing my life together. And then came Luke. He was so much like you; it was like having you by my side all the time. And then I found out all of his ideas were yours. So, I cut him off. Just like with you. Daniel, I don't think that I can have a health relationship with trust and stability. My ego loves hurting myself more than you could imagine. And I'm sorry for what I am about to say. I love you. I have loved you since I woke up next to you on that plane. That will never change. But I know that you deserve better. And that is why I will never get close to you again. And for the last jab, I got a job offer in Seoul. I'm moving in 2 months. So, I guess this will be a goodbye and a thank you for everything kind of talk. I really wished I could fix myself. I thought that if I had my life together, I could be with you and be someone you needed and loved, but that is just not in the cards for me."

There were a few times he tried telling me something. Then he got up and left. I didn't have the energy to ask him to stay. Tell me what he was thinking. I just knew I hurt him and once again I didn't help the situation.

I packed most of Molly's things and left her a note.

Hey, I hope you have an easy move. Can't wait to hear all about your honeymoon. I packed most of the things, there are still some things in the bathroom and some shoes. I think I ruined things with Daniel for good. Also, I'm moving sooner. Call me when you get back.

Love, Kiara.

Thatsame day asked if I could move a little sooner. They agreed and after two daysI was on a plane to Seoul. I hoped to end this chapter of my life a littlesmother, but I guess that is just not in the starts for me.