One-Sided Love ||Changlix|| ✔️

19

TW: intrusive thoughts and feeling overwhelmed

Felix hadn't been able to focus all day, the events of yesterday fresh in his mind. He zoned out the teacher rambling up front. This morning Felix had talked to some of his other "friends", if you could call them that, instead of talking to Seungmin or Changbin like usual. Mostly for appearances. Felix wasn't ready to apologize, he didn't even know how to.

But he wasn't talking to them or paying attention to their conversations. Either zoning out or wandering off mid-way through, to the confusion of his classmates. Surprisingly, he didn't help out with any "favors" today, either. He wasn't in the mood, Changbins words ringing in his ears anytime someone approached him for help.

As much as he hated to admit it Changbin was right, as was everyone else who told him similar things. But Felix couldn't help it, he was just that type of person. The type of person who lets people walk all over him and ignores his friends, Felix's eyes grew wide in shock. That wasn't a thought he wanted to have. No wonder Hyunjin likes Seungmin more than you, you're a horrible hypocrite just like Changbin said

Felix tried to block out the annoying voice by focusing on the lecture, Changbin will never forgive you, he deserves better

You're a horrible person and an even worse friend

Nobody really likes you, they're just using you, and you let them because you're weak

Hyunjin will never love you

Everybody hates you

Felix jolted out of his seat at the last thought. Thankfully, this was college, and most people didn't react to that stuff. Felix grabbed his things and hurried out of the lecture, he needed some fresh air.

What was going on? Why couldn't he snap out of it? Felix shook his head in a mix of anger and confusion, "Pull it together! You look crazy"

Felix looked out the window to the courtyard, his eyes drifted to the table he usually sat at with Hyunjin, it sat empty. He let out a sigh as he continued his walk, he might as well head to his next lecture.

As he passed the staircase, he heard some laughter coming from inside the stairwell. Felix looked inside the window to see Seungmin and Changbin underneath the stairwell. They looked pretty happy considering all that had gone down the other day. They were smiling and pushing each other playfully.

Felix first frowned, and then grimaced. It's like they don't even care, Felix huffed before continuing on his way. Whatever he didn't need them anyway. Apparently, he was replaceable. Felix mused bitterly, earlier thoughts of apologizing for fading into the back of his mind.

Mid-way through laughing, Seungmin opened his eyes and he could've sworn he saw Felix through the window. Changbin noticed him staring and he looked towards the door but saw nothing.

"What's up?" he asked, "What are we looking at?". Seungmin shook his head, "I could've sworn I saw Felix there for a second"

The mood instantly shifted once Felix was mentioned, "Huh? I didn't see him" Changbin muttered.

Seungmin shook his head, "I don't know, it's probably nothing". There was silence for a moment before Seungmin decided to speak again, "Soo...speaking of Felix. What's going on with you two since yesterday?" he asked cautiously.

Changbin looked away, "Nothing. We haven't spoken since he stormed off, no texts, no calls, nothing. Just silent".

That was upsetting to hear, and feelings of guilt started bubbling up again, Seungmin pushed them down. "Ah..well that sucks."

"Just so you know, this isn't your fault. You shouldn't feel bad" Changbin said for about the millionth time. Seungmin sighed, "I know, I know. But at the same time, I feel where Felix is coming from"

Changbin looked ready to speak up but Seungmin hushed him, "Hear me out for a second.". Changbin shut his mouth and signaled for him to continue,

"Felix is very emotional, that's just who he is he's a very emotional person, and he let people walk all over him because he feels the need to make everyone happy. You were the only true friend he had for years right he told me that, you were always loyal to him I overheard the argument and you said he would make you wait for hours for him to even hang out with you" Seungmin started

"But I think because of that, in Felix's mind, it made it ok for him to continuously do that because you never spoke up. I'm not saying this to blame you, he should have communicated with you to make sure you were ok, but you never communicated either" Seungmin explained

Changbin nodded slowly and Seungmin continued

"We both know Felix has anxiety, and I guess me hanging out with you so much and him being busy triggered him into thinking he was being replaced. I get why you hang out with me, you don't socialize with anybody else, and I don't mind you're amazing to hang out with, but I just get both sides of the stories" Seungmin finished leaning on the wall

"So you're saying I should apologize first?" Changbin asked

"Nope, I was explaining why you're both in the wrong, but you seem like you wanna talk to him. Just don't let your friendship get ruined by this." Seungmin says

"Damn when did you become a therapist" Changbin chuckled

The bell rang, and they went to their next class.

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STAN SEUNGMIN!!!!

-Nebe