Catastrophic

19

Kiara's pov

I didn't get up the stairs before Colby caught up to me, wrapping his arms around my waist and dragging me back down the stairs.

"Jesus Christ Colby why can't you tell me who fucking shot Kavin?" I asked, turning around and looking up just enough so our eyes could meet.

"Because," He said, "You will kill them,"

"Damn right I will," I agreed, "You probably don't know what it's like to kill your entire family, to watch with that slight feeling of disgust as you take their lives from them. It's not fair, it's not fair to them for them to die and it's not fair that I get to live with it afterwards. I need my brother,"

"This is different, Kiara," Colby reasoned, folding his hands behind my back, "There's a chance he won't even die. I think he'll be alright, but that's just me,"

"Why are you doing this?" I asked, confused, "You made your choice. You chose Stas,"

He didn't say anything, staring at the ceiling like it'd give him an answer.

"You came back, didn't you?" He asked with a smirk.

"I came back up for my brother. I'm not someone you use when I'm around and then when I'm gone you treat me like I don't exist," I said, stepping out of his reach.

"But you aren't going to leave, are you?" He squinted, biting his lip to help and fight his smile.

"You don't know what I'm going to do," I put my hands on my hips, folding my lips into my mouth.

"I do, actually. Even if you haven't said it yet," He said, his stupid grin not fititng the situation, "Let's go to the office and see how Kavin's doing,"

I didn't want to follow him, but I found myself doing just that.

We walked past everyone to the front door, keeping a fast pace so nobody stopped us.

Once we were outside I darted over to Colby's silly old car, pulling at the passenger door handle repeatedly until he unlocked it.

I slid in, not entirely pleased with how slow he was walking.

"Come on old man," I said once he opened the door, "We got places to be,"

"Yeah, yeah," He sighed, starting the car while shutting the door.

The ride began off silent, and I was starting to expect that was how the entire drive would be.

"I'm sorry," He began, taking in a deep breath, "I'm sorry for everything, from kidnapping you last year to now. I'm sorry for all of it,"

"There's nothing we can do about it now," I said with a half smile, "I was bound to be in this life eventually. We could be enemies right now,"

"I know," He glanced over at me, and I shuffled my arms so they were wrapped around me.

"And now, I would regret that. I am happy I got the chance to know you, and I feel bad for the part of me that would have ended up hating you without knowing anything about you," I sighed, "This entire experience shows that not everyone in a gang has a bad heart,"

"Just a bad life," He mumbled to himself, and I must have seemed confused because he instantly elaborated, "Kiara, I don't always love this life. You made me love it, love working more than I thought I would ever. It would make my day to come home to see you sitting up and waiting for me or falling asleep in my bed wearing my hoodie,"

I was surprised he would ever admit those things to me, and even more surprised when it gave me butterflies in my stomach.

"Stas, though she is great, she only focuses on things she wants. She wants money, she wants power. She wants me to become the leader of the gang again just so she can have that status. I'm a failure in her eyes and I know it," Colby continued, his smile fading in and out the more he talked.

"I don't think you are," I reassured, "I understand that you've been through a lot, even more than you will ever tell me. Which is fine, I would be the same way if you didn't stalk me like a creepy motherfucker," I let out a little chuckle, and he did too.

"I don't stalk you. I actually knew nothing about you until after we kidnapped you and I was forced to research you so I knew who would be looking for you. I had people go back and stage your grandfather's house to make it look like you killed him and then left," Colby explained, adding humor into the situation.

"Did you actually?" I asked, causing him to nod, "Well, the more you know I guess,"

"Yeah. Speaking of which," Colby said as his phone lit up, "Nate just texted me. Said that the bullet missed Kavin's spin and once they put him under surgery he should make a full recovery within about six weeks,"

"Let me see," I said, reaching for his phone, reading the messages for myself, "I still want to know who shot him," I said while handing it back.

"I will tell you right now that they won't be in our lives anymore," Colby reassured, "When I get home I'm telling her she can't stay with us anymore and if you ever see her again I give you full permission to kill her,"

"Don't you think she'll tell people things?" I asked, "And it's a she, so which one of the girls did it?"

He paused, seeming to contemplate whether or not he should tell me or not, "Stas. But she only got trained with guns last week and I should have known better than to let her carry one-"

I cut off his quick, blabbering excuses, "You're telling me you chose her over me, knowing she was less experienced than me and doesn't know when to shoot a damn gun?"

I felt like I was completely disregarded. If he has all these problems with Stas and didn't even take into consideration how I feel, yet he still chose her which blows my mind.

"I chose her because she loves me," He kept his eyes on the road, his grip tightening on the steering wheel.

"But you don't love her," I pointed out. "You don't know how I feel," He glared at me.

"But I do. You feel like you have no other choice, besides pleasing Sam. But why don't you do what makes you happy for once. I know being with Stas isn't that," I said, feeling myself become annoyed with him.

"She gave up everything just for me. For me. You didn't do shit," He said, darting his eyes back and forth from me and the road.

"I have to prove myself to you? That I want this, that I want us? That's supposed to be proven over how much I sacrifice for you?" I felt disgusted with how Colby was treating the entire situation.

He didn't respond, leaving me with the only answer I could think of.

If I wanted Colby, I had to get rid of my new leadership in the gang. I would have to abandon my brother, and reinforce that Vito's deal with me is off.

This could become easy, giving up everything. But it'll wreck me on the inside, leaving a catastrophic path of emptiness where my pride and hard work belongs.

I don't know if I am capable of doing that.