The Prince of Thorns

Master of Coin

SMALL COUNCIL CHAMBER

Tywin Lannister stands by the head of the table. Grand Maester Pycelle, Varys, and Lord Petyr "Littlefinger" Baelish enter silently. Tyrion enters next. Tywin sits, then Pycelle, Varys, and Littlefinger join him. Tyrion remains still, while Cersei enters and surveys the room. She pauses, then walks to the table. She picks up one of the two remaining empty chairs and places it directly next to Tywin, then sits while the others smirk. Tyrion comes forward and drags the final chair noisily (and comically) to the opposite head of the table. He sits.

TYRION: "Intimate. Lovely table. Better chairs than the old small council chamber. Conveniently close to your own quarters. I like it."

TYWIN: "What news of Jaime?"

No one answers.

TYWIN: "Twenty thousand unwashed Northerns have known about his escape for weeks. Collectively, you control more spies and informants than the rest of the world combined. Do you mean to tell me that none of you has any notion of where he is?"

VARYS: "We are trying, my lord."

TYWIN: "Try harder. What do we have, then?"

VARYS: "Robb Stark and most of his bannermen are in Riverrun for the funeral of his grandfather Lord Hoster Tully. In Stark's absence, Roose Bolton holds Harrenhal, which would seem to make him Lord of Harrenhal, in practice if not in name."

TYWIN: "Well, let him have it. The name suits our purposes far more than that useless pile of rubble. The Lord of Harrenhal will make a worthy suitor for the widow Arryn."

LITTLEFINGER: "For which I am extremely grateful to you, my lord."

PYCELLE: "A successful courtship would make Lord Baelish acting Lord of the Vale."

LITTLEFINGER: "Titles do seem to breed titles."

TYWIN: "You'll leave for the Eyrie as soon as possible and bring Lysa Arryn into the fold. Then the young wolf can add his own aunt to the list of people who have taken up arms against him."

TYRION: "Far be it from me to hinder true love, but Lord Baelish's absence would present certain problems. The royal wedding may end up being the most expensive event in living memory. Summer has ended, hard days lie ahead. Not a good time to leave the crown's finances unattended."

TYWIN: "Fully agreed. Which is why I'm naming you the new Master of Coin."

CERSEI: (chuckles)

TYRION: "Master of Coin?"

TYWIN: "It would appear to be a position that best suits your talents."

TYRION: "I'm quite good at spending money, but a lifetime of outrageous wealth hasn't taught me much about managing it."

CERSEI: "I have no doubt you will prove equal to this challenge."

PYCELLE: "Hear, hear."

--------------------------------------

LITTLEFINGER'S BROTHEL

Ros kneels at a hidden compartment in the floor. She hands Podrick a series of ledgers. He admires her assets. She notices.

TYRION: "A surprising place to keep the royal ledgers."

LITTLEFINGER: "I'm surprised you're surprised. This is the safest place in the city."

TYRION: "Not for bastards."

ROS: "That's all of them, my lord."

LITTLEFINGER: "Thank you, my dear."

TYRION: "Pod. Pod. Take them outside. I'll be there in a moment."

PODRICK: "Yes, my lord."

Podrick wheels the ledges away in a cart. Ros exits as well.

LITTLEFINGER: "I hear you owe that boy a significant debt."

TYRION: "Only my life. Not all that significant, I'm afraid."

LITTLEFINGER: "You should have him knighted."

TYRION: "If only the Master of Coin had such power."

LITTLEFINGER: "If only. I owe you a significant debt. Our redheaded friend. You secured her release when the queen detained her."

TYRION: "Oh, that. Of course. A simple misunderstanding."

LITTLEFINGER: "Apparently, Her Grace believed that you two had some sort of special relationship."

TYRION: "We don't. I did fuck her once."

LITTLEFINGER: "I know."

TYRION: "But we don't."

LITTLEFINGER: "I know. But how would the queen get that idea?"

TYRION: "Why don't you ask her? Any advice for me on my new position?"

LITTLEFINGER: "Keep a low profile."

TYRION: "If I had a gold dragon for every time I heard that joke, I'd be richer than you are."

LITTLEFINGER: "Well, you are richer than I am."

TYRION: "Good point."

LITTLEFINGER: "They're only numbers. Numbers on paper. Once you understand that, it's easy to make them behave. Trivial even. You want a real challenge? Try whores."

TYRION: "I've tried quite a few. Well, lots of work to do. Enjoy the Eyrie."