The Prince of Thorns

=A Mountain=

KING'S LANDING, TYRION'S CELL, DAY

Jaime and Tyrion stand in the jail cell.

JAIME: "I made a deal for you to keep your ungrateful head on your ungrateful neck a little while longer."

TYRION: "I'm sorry, what am I grateful for? The opportunity to live and die at the Wall as punishment for a crime I did not commit?"

JAIME: "You threw your life away. You threw it away. It's not a joke. You understand that, don't you?"

TYRION: "Of course it's a joke, just not a very funny one. I couldn't- I couldn't listen to her standing there telling her lies. I couldn't do it."

JAIME: "You fell in love with a whore."

TYRION: "Yes, I fell in love with a whore. And I was stupid enough to think that she had fallen in love with me. That deal you made, it was everything Father wanted. You do see that? He gets you back as his heir. The future Lord of the Rock. And he ships me off to Castle Black, out of sight at last. All so perfect. It felt good to take that from him. He knows I'm innocent and he's willing to sacrifice me anyway. He's willing to sacrifice any of us. Not you. You're the golden son. You could kill a king, lose a hand, fuck your own sister, you'll always be the golden son."

JAIME: "Careful. I'm the last friend you've got."

TYRION: "At least I got to tell them what they really are."

JAIME: "Yes, brilliant speech. They'll be talking about it for days to come. I thought you were a realist. Didn't realize you'd die for pride."

TYRION: "Don't give up on me just yet. I survived one trial by combat, even though you weren't there to save me."

JAIME: "I can't save you this time either. My training has proved that I can't beat a stable boy with my left hand."

TYRION: "Where's your sense of adventure? Even if you lose, imagine the look on Father's face when you fall."

JAIME: (laughs)

TYRION: "Our family name snuffed out with a single swing of the sword."

JAIME: "It is tempting."

TYRION: "Well... Bronn fought for me once, he'll do it again. If he wins, I expect I'll be in his debt for the rest of my life."

JAIME: "If he wins."

TYRION: "Will you find him for me? Who does Cersei plan on naming as a champion? I hope it's Ser Meryn Trant. I'd enjoy watching Bronn disembowel that pompous child beater."

JAIME: "No. Not Ser Meryn."

KING'S LANDING BATTLE PIT, DAY

SER GREGOR "THE MOUNTAIN" CLEGANE gores a prisoner on his great sword, heaving him mightily into the air. Blood streams from his mouth as The Mountain discards his body onto the sand. Cersei watches. A line of filthy prisoners wait for a similar fate, a pair of guards behind them. A Guard pushes the next two Prisoners forward.

GUARD: "Go on, move it."

The prisoners reach down to pick up meager weapons. Prisoner #1 attacks The Mountain, who parries and then disembowels him with a single blow. He takes a step forward. Prisoner #2 throws down his weapon and drops to his knees. The line of prisoner's panics and the guards work to contain them.

PRISONER #2: "Mercy. Please. Please, mercy."

Cersei enters as The Mountain dispatches Prisoner #2 with a series of overhead blows.

CERSEI: "Ser Gregor. Welcome to the capital. Thank you for riding here so quickly."

Cersei looks down.

CERSEI: "You seem to be in good form."

THE MOUNTAIN: "Who am I fighting?"

CERSEI: "Does it matter?"

THE MOUNTAIN: (Shakes his head.)

 KING'S LANDING, TYRION's CELL

Tyrion sits and looks out the window. A door opens beyond his cell. Bronn and Alester walk down the stairs and are let into the cell.

BRONN: "My lord."

TYRION: "You have new clothes."

BRONN: "Do you like 'em? Eh? Gloves are doeskin. Softer than a virgin's thighs. "

ALESTER: "Thats the thirteenth time I've heard him say that."

TYRION: "I sent for you days ago."

BRONN: "I've been a bit busy.

TYRION: "Doing what?"

ALESTER: "Our friend here is to wed Lollys Stokeworth."

TYRION: "Lollys Stokeworth? She doesn't strike me as your sort of girl."

BRONN: "I wouldn't say I had a single sort of girl."

TYRION: "She's dim-witted."

BRONN: "If I wanted wits, I'd marry you."

TYRION: "When my sister arranged this love match, did she mention that Lollys has an older sister?"

BRONN: "Falyse. Aye, I did know about the older sister."

TYRION: "And you understand the rules of inheritance?"

BRONN: "Falyse is forty and barren."

ALESTER: "Just because shes forty doesn't mean she barren, Bronn."

TYRION: "Plus she still gets Castle Stokeworth when her father dies."

BRONN: "She does. Unless she happens to perish before her father. Then Lollys gets the castle."

TYRION: (scoffs.)

BRONN: "What? Ladies fall from their horses and snap their pretty necks all the time."

ALESTER: "What a just Knight you are."

BRONN: (shrugs.)

TYRION: "You and my sister deserve each other. Why did you bother to come here?"

Bronn sits.

BRONN: "You once said if anyone ever asked me to sell you out, you'd triple their price."

TYRION: "I believe I said double."

BRONN: "Alester said triple."

Tyrion turn to Alester.

ALESTER: "What? It's not like you're in much position to argue for price."

TYRION: "Is it two wives you want or two castles?"

BRONN: "One of each will do. But if you want me to kill the Mountain for you, it'd better be a damn big castle."

TYRION: "I'm a bit short on castles at the moment. But I can offer you gold and gratitude."

BRONN: "I have gold. What can I buy with gratitude?"

TYRION: "You might be surprised. A Lannister always pays his debts."

BRONN: "Your sister's a Lannister, too."

TYRION: "My wife is heir to Winterfell. If I emerge from this with my head still on my shoulders, I may one day rule the North in her name. I could carve you out a big piece of it."

BRONN: "If and may and could. It's bloody cold up north. Lollys is soft and warm. And close. If I gave you the choice between fucking Lollys and fighting the Mountain, you'd have your britches down and your cock out before I could blink."

TYRION: "Does he frighten you so much?"

BRONN: "I'd be a bloody fool if he didn't frighten me. He's freakish big and freakish strong. And quicker than you'd expect for a man of that size. Maybe I could take him, dance around until he's so tired of hacking at me, he dropped his sword, get him off his feet somehow. But one misstep... and I'm dead. Why should I risk it?"

TYRION: "Because you're my friends. The both of you."

BRONN: "Aye, I'm your friend. And when have you ever risked your life for me?"

Tyrion doesn't answer. Bronn stands.

BRONN: "I like you, pampered little shit that you are. I just like myself more."

TYRION: "I understand."

BRONN: "I'm sorry it has to be this way."

TYRION: "Why are you sorry? Because you're an evil bastard with no conscience and no heart? That's what I liked about you in the first place."

Tyrion extends his hand and Bronn shakes it heartily.

BRONN: "We had some good days together."

TYRION: "Yes, we did."

Bronn pats Tyrion's arm, then walks to knock on the door.

BRONN: "What will you do?"

Tyrion looks to Alester.

ALESTER: "I'll be your champion."

BRONN: "If there's one man that can do it."

Bronn exits.