The Prince of Thorns

*/A New Job/*

PENTOS - COUNTRYSIDE - CARRIAGE

TYRION: "There's a bug."

VARYS: "Yes, best be careful. You might accidentally consume some solid food."

TYRION: "When I agreed to come with you, did I misrepresent my intentions? (finishes his cup of wine) Besides, what is there for me to do inside this fucking box?"

VARYS: "You don't like it?"

TYRION: "I want to take a walk."

VARYS: "You can't. Cersei has offered a lordship to the man who brings her your head."

TYRION: "She ought to offer her cunt. Best part of her for the best part of me. Well, I suppose a box is as good a place for me as anywhere."

VARYS: "Are we really going to spend the entire road to Volantis talking about the futility of everything?"

TYRION: "You're right. No point. (realizing) The road to Volantis? You said we were going to Meereen. What's in Volantis?"

VARYS: "The road to Meereen."

TYRION: "And what do you hope to find at the end of the road to Meereen?"

VARYS: "I told you. A ruler."

TYRION: "We've already got a ruler. Everywhere has already got a ruler. Every pile of shit on the side of every road has someone's banner hanging from it."

VARYS: "You were quite good, you know. At ruling. During your brief tenure as Hand."

TYRION: "I didn't rule. I was a servant."

VARYS: "Still, a man of talent."

TYRION: "Managed to kill a lot of people."

VARYS: "Yes, but showed great promise in other areas as well."

TYRION: "She wanted me to leave Kings Landing. She begged me. I wouldn't go."

VARYS: "Why?"

TYRION: "Cause I liked it. Power. Even as a servant. (Takes a drink of wine)"

VARYS: "People follow leaders. And they will never follow us. They find us repulsive."

TYRION: "I find us repulsive."

VARYS: "And we find them repulsive, which is why we surround ourselves with large, comfortable boxes to keep them away. And yet, no matter what we do, people like you and me are never really satisfied inside the box. Not for long."

TYRION: "You're right. Let's go for a walk."

VARYS: "No."

TYRION: "How many dwarves are there in the world? Is Cersei going to kill them all?"

KING'S LANDING - QYBURN'S ROOM

A dwarf's head is placed on her desk.

CERSEI: "Not him."

MERYN: "Are you trying to deceive your Queen? Shall I throw them in a cell, Your Grace?"

CERSEI: "That won't be necessary, Ser Meryn. I don't want to dissuade the other hunters. Mistakes will be made."

HUNTERS: "Thank you, Your Grace. Thank you."

CERSEI: "Take the head."

QYBURN: "Pardon me, Your Grace. I would take it, if you don't mind. It could prove useful for my work."

CERSEI: "Very good."

She and Qyburn exit the room.

QYBURN: "Over there will be fine."

MERYN: "(to hunters): You heard the man. Over there."

The hunters pick up the dwarf head.

KING'S LANDING - RED KEEP

Cersei and Qyburn enter the room, taking the open seats on the small council. Cersei sits at the head of the table. Alester attends the meeting at the request of the Queen mother.

KEVAN: "You're the Hand of the King?"

CERSEI: "No, Uncle. Clearly it would not be appropriate for a woman to assume that role. I'm merely advising my son until he comes of age and chooses a Hand for himself."

MACE TYRELL: "Your Grace, I would be willing to serve provisionally as the King's Hand until he becomes old enough--"

Alester cringes at his father's input.

CERSEI: "You're a good man, Lord Tyrell, but I don't imagine you'll have the time. With you already being Master of Ships."

MACE: "I understand, Your Grace."

CERSEI: "But know that your family will be honored as the King has wished for your heir to become Master of coin."

Alester looks up from his downward gaze. Mace bursts with pride.

CERSEI: "He called your experience and wisdom in financial matters unparalleled. He said he would be honored to have you represent the crown's interests in the same."

ALESTER: "I'll do all I can, Your Grace."

PYCELLE: "Your Grace, in the past on several occasions, a Grand Maester has served as the King's Hand."

CERSEI: "The King has named Qyburn the new Master of Whisperers."

PYCELLE: "Your Grace, him? This man? This embarrassment to the Citadel? Your Grace, what qualifications can he possibly have for this post?"

CERSEI: "The qualification of loyalty, Grand Maester. That's far more than the eunuch ever had. Far more than many ever have."

PYCELLE: "I must say I cannot see--"

CERSEI "(cutting him off): Uncle Kevan, in light of your position as commander of the Lannister armies, it would please the king if you would serve as his Master of War. No man living better deserves the title."

KEVAN: "That is kind of you to say. I would like to hear it from the king himself."

CERSEI: "The king is very busy at this moment."

ALESTER: "He should be here, learning what it means to rule."

KEVAN: "The Tyrell boy understands."

ALESTER: "Easy old man."

CERSEI: "He is learning. On this occasion, in his capacity as ruler, he's asked me to speak on his behalf."

KEVAN: "I returned to the capital to pay my respects to my brother. And to you. And to serve the king. I did not return to the capital to serve as your puppet. To watch you stack the small council with sycophants. (looks to Qyburn). I do not recognize your authority. You are the Queen Mother. Nothing more."

Kevan gets up from his seat.

CERSEI: "You would abandon your king in his time of need?"

KEVAN: "If he wants to send for me, I will be waiting for him. At Casterly Rock."

He exits the room and closes the door.

CERSEI: "On to the next topic. Alester and Princess Myrcella will be wed two days from now."

MACE TYRELL: "Well this is great news for our House's."

ALESTER: "And what of my sister and the Kings marriage?"

CERSEI: "They will be wed tomorrow."