When I Look At You

Chapter 11

A/N: @abimess_ graciously offered their help to make this chapter a little more... spicy. They did an amazing job! A BIG thank you to them! Check out their wonderful stories if you haven't! 

Leigh taps on your face to wake you up. You swat her hand away and groan to make her stop until you hear the wailing baby. Shit, you think to yourself. It's my turn, you roll to get closer to the edge but misjudged how close you already were and fall off of the bed completely. "If I had a dollar every time..." Leigh mutters in remark to you falling out of the bed often.

You rub your head and with tired, heavy steps, you stumble over to the baby's room. "Awe, I know, sweetheart." You lift the baby out of the crib to assess the situation. You have to ask yourself multiple questions. Is her diaper full? Does she need a bottle? Does she have gas? What is it that she needs in order to get back to sleep? Luckily, the problem presents itself pretty fast when you can smell her as soon as she is in your hands. You take her over to the changing table and carefully clean her. You swear that she saves the worst for you. Clearly favoring Leigh over you. Not that you minded, she did spend months creating her and several long painful hours giving birth.

She stops crying as soon as she doesn't feel dirty and you are filled with relief. On the day she was born, you could've sworn it was the most beautiful sound you had ever heard. Now you do anything and everything to make it stop. As you make sure to check hard to notice areas so she doesn't get a rash or an infection, you tell her a story about what her older sister was like as a newborn. She looks like she is listening carefully to every word. You like to believe that she is and understands but there's no way for you to know.

When she is in a fresh diaper and new pajamas, she wouldn't allow you to put on the one you took off of her, she stares at you with her green eyes that she inherited from her mother and you smile at her. You use the hand sanitizer close by to disinfect your hands. "Let's get you back to bed," you speak softly. Unfortunately, she isn't ready to return to her crib. She threatens to cry every time you lower her in the crib. Not wanting to hear her cries, knowing there will be plenty of that when you have to do the cry training, you sit on the rocking chair to soothe her back to sleep. You hum a lullaby to her and watch her curious eyes fight sleep for some time. She was only a couple months old, the world was all new to her and she wanted to observe every moment of it. But eventually, she gives in. You don't move to put her back right away. She was so peaceful and small and fragile and yours. She is yours and she is Leigh's. She is real. You watch her sleep, completely enamored by her.

You don't realize that you had fallen asleep until Leigh is taking the baby out of your arms. She didn't want to disturb you, but your body had feared that you were dropping her. "Rise and shine, sleepyhead," she says just above a whisper. "You might want to go back to the bedroom. The chair is comfortable but your neck is not going to be forgiving." She is right, of course. When you sit up, your neck is stiff and it hurts to move.

Walking back to the room is tough but you manage to flop back onto your comfortable bed. You're grateful that Leigh left the heavy curtains closed. With them shut, not a drop of sunlight could make its way through. Leaving it a mystery of what time of day it was. It didn't matter. You needed to sleep. As you're falling asleep, Leigh joins you and she slips herself under your arm to snuggle into your side.

The next time you wake up it's because Leigh is leaving the bed. It was her turn to tend to the baby. The two of you were exhausted but were finally starting to find a new rhythm with the new family addition. The only one still having a hard time adjusting was Bandit. He was so used to having all of the attention that he wasn't too happy about sharing it. As of now, he was whining at your feet, requesting that you take him for a walk. Since the baby was born, you've been lazy about his needs and have opted to only let him out in the backyard whenever he needed to go. He didn't like it. He liked his daily walks with you and Leigh.