Unrequited

The Truth About Feeling

One day my theater teacher told us all to lay down
To think or how we feel out emotions physically
She told us we needed to feel it beyond just a smile or a frown
That we needed to understand it mentally

To feel the cold and the hot and where it resides
In your fingers, toes, chest or shoulders
Let it come and go like an open tide
Think about how they changed as you got older

I found that I feel sadness in my throat
And anger in my stomach
The wall that surrounded my heart with a moat
Was torn down from the inside, don't know why it felt like a punishment

I thought of you and how you made me feel warm in my chest
Something like love took hold when you smiled
Though I know us talking less was a decision I made for the best
Realizing that feeling made me feel crazy and wild

Your name doesn't sting anymore
Doesn't turn the warmth to ice
But I can't see you hurting and just walk out the door
Because you were so much more than just nice

Your smile reminded me of rain, your kindness a book
I hear your gentle voice in ever song I love telling me you care
Like when you binge a show and you know your hooked
All I wish is that I could see you be there

Smiling and laughing while lying in the pouring rain
Blasting music so loud, the kind that made you feel like a character in a book
Seeing a character and knowing their pain
Oh, the joy would make it as if our shaky ground never shook

As I lie on the floor and come back to my senses
I miss the way you made me feel something like love
I miss the way your jaw clenches when you're stubborn
I miss the way you joke and shove

With tears in my eyes I realize how much I miss you
You were like a best friend but something more
I thought it might be easier if I stopped talking to you
But know this, you still are, and always will be, someone I adore