Loving Raven

5. Study Partners

My relationship with Raven didn't begin to blossom for several weeks. In that time period she remained someone I'd exchange smiles within the hallway as we passed each other and passing by time in class together with small conversation. I never intended for it to be more than that.

She and I had a total of three classes together throughout the day; our third period History class, and top of that we also had Math and Science together. She would always manage to find herself in a seat right beside or in front of me in those classes, I knew she did it on purpose. I knew it was an attempt at getting close to me, and I tried my hardest not to act as if I had noticed.

"You know that new girl," Jackson said one day during lunch period with his mouth full of half chewed hamburger, that day's lunch special, "I think her name is Reagan, I think she's into you."

The way he mispronounced her name oddly offended me to some degree, I couldn't pinpoint why at the time. I watched him chew on the hamburger, deep down watching him devour it made me want to lose my lunch right there in a pool of mockery all over the table. It couldn't have been pure angus beef as it had been advertised on the lunch menu at the front of the cafeteria, not by the way it presented itself on the plate much less Jackson's mouth. "Her name is Raven," I corrected him, "And so what if she's into me, she's not the only girl to fall for the charming Cullen McIntyre."

"Do you think she's going to be your latest victim?" He let out a slight chuckle grabbing at his drink before near choking on the last bits of bun in his mouth, "I mean you can't just let the poor girl sit there like a puppy and keep begging you for it. Take her to prom, girls dig that shit."

"Oh, is that what you're doing with Megan? Finally going to lose your virginity, I see," I gawked at him jokingly, "Raven isn't that kind of girl, I don't think she dates. Even if she did I don't see her in that way. What do you mean by victims? Every girl I go out with I have an attraction to, it's not my fault they can't keep their head in the game. I'm not in with being serious in High School, I don't want a serious relationship at all. I just want to be a kid while I can and have fun while I can. To some girls that's just too much to ask."

"So, explain Marcy," he wiped the remnants of ketchup and mustard from his hands. He put his napkin on his tray and gave me his full and undivided attention, "Why did you end it with her so promptly?"

I rolled my eyes, "I don't want to talk about Marcy. She's a beautiful girl but that one has a lot going on in her head. It's not that she's crazy but that one is incapable of being with someone that doesn't love her. By loving her I mean you've got to be all about Marcy. She's a high maintenance girl, she wants everything, and it got to be something I couldn't keep up with, nor was I comfortable with. I couldn't take Marcy seriously. She got attached way too fast and was a lot more than what I had bargained for."

The lunch bell rang overhead, and we retreated from our usual lunch table in the corner of the cafeteria. The hallway was now filled with bustling teenagers heading to their next period class, us included.

Jackson accompanied me on the entire walk until we reached my science class, "I guess this Raven girl is going to replace me and become your best bud? Seeing as you refuse to ask the girl out, you must be looking for a replacement."

"I'm not replacing anyone," I was annoyed by his statement, annoyed enough to walk away from the situation entirely, "She's just nice and fun to talk to. She's not my best friend, she's just a girl that talks to me in class."

I was so caught up in the heated moment that I barely noticed her as she was coming up from behind Jackson, catching the last bit of my sentence. A look of hurt was visible on her face, and I knew I was to blame. "Thanks for that Cullen," she pushed past us and glanced back for a split second, "I at least had the decency to consider you a friend. No worries Jackson, he's all yours."

Before I had the chance to stop her, she turned around and made her way to one of the open seats in the classroom, and it wasn't one beside that one chair in the corner of the room. My chair.

I looked at Jackson and wanted to smack the grin that was on his face, a grin that expressed that he had somehow won an argument. "Wipe that smirk off of your face," I stared him up and down, my face burning in rage, "Do you not realize what you have done? You're pathetic." I didn't bother to stand there any longer, I left him standing there alone and made my way to my seat in the corner of the classroom. Jackson, on the other hand, had no choice but to retreat from the door. This wasn't a class he and I had together, and now I was praising the man above for that.

It wasn't long before our teacher, Ms. Phillips, to make her way into the classroom stealing my attention away from the thoughts that were circulating inside of my head. "Good afternoon, everyone," she said in her normal cheery voice, "I'm so happy to see that we have a full house today, we have reached the halfway mark in the semester which means today I will be pairing you up with a lab partner for your end of the year project. Please remember and be mindful that this project is worth a quarter of your grade, and it will also be counted as your end of the year exam. Your excellence is not only expected but it is also encouraged."

I had been dreading the idea of being assigned a lab partner the entire year, I didn't get along with anyone in the school unless it were Jackson. I remember our numerous attempts at switching around his schedule at the beginning of the year, our latest attempt had landed him in Culinary. I bet he looked terrible in a chef's hat, unfortunately it didn't land him a spot in my science class.

Ms. Phillips made her way to my desk and sat at the one in front of me, "Cullen, I know this is a lot to ask of you. Raven is still new to the school and the curriculum, you're the only person I've really seen her interact with."

I didn't want to seem too overly excited over the matter, I was still Cullen McIntyre. With that came the significant fact that I didn't allow for myself to get thrilled over girls, I couldn't knowingly let Raven become an exception. "Sure Ms. Phillips, that won't be an issue on my end. Just make sure she's ready to work, I need to pass this project to maintain my GPA," I said as I pulled out my notebook and began jotting down notes for today's lesson.

She retreated from the seat, and I watched as she made her way over to Raven, and I knew it was to go ahead and tell her the news. I watched as Raven's look of confusion turn into annoyance. I even noticed a small eye roll coming from Raven as Ms. Phillip's broke down the arrangements. She wasn't thrilled and with good reason, she couldn't stand the likes of me. I had Jackson to thank for that.

After discussing the matters with her, Ms. Phillips made her way to the front of the class, "I want everyone to go ahead and find your partners. I want you to exchange contact information and arrange for the both of you to get together in order to start working your topics and thesis statements."

I waited impatiently for Raven to make her way over to me, and to my surprise she didn't budge. It was as if she was testing the waters, to make matters worse she was testing me. Ms. Phillips passed a look off in my direction, cocking her head to the side a few times signaling for me to make my way to Raven. I had no choice but to oblige the orders she had given me.

She refused to look up from her notebook and textbook, making it look as if she was deeply in concentration over notes, I knew she had taken notes a thousand and one times. Even so, she kept her attention fixated on the bullshit words she was writing on the paper. "Hey," I seated myself in the chair next to her, "We need to talk about what Jackson said."

"Absolutely not," she slammed her textbook shut thus proving they were indeed bullshit notes, "We are not going to talk about how the both of you are two ignorant primates, we are not going to talk about what was said in the hallway. We are not going to talk about how you've allowed for me to walk around here for weeks thinking that we were friends. I can't believe I let myself believe someone in this place was interested in getting to know who I was as I person. That's shame on me. We are, however, going to discuss what this project is going to be about but that's all this will be Cullen. We're partners for a science project, that's it. No more and no less."

Her words sent an unfamiliar stinge into my chest, a stinge I wasn't used to. I almost wanted to cry and beg for her forgiveness, but I didn't. "If that's what you want Raven," I let out a small sigh, "I have no choice but to respect that." I pulled out a sheet of notebook paper, wrote down my phone number and address, and slid it in her direction. I watched her angrily fold the piece of paper and shove it deep into the abyss that was her backpack, afterwards returning her attention back to her notebook.

It was official, she hated me.