Loving Raven

10. Reconciliation

Raven entered the room and failed to meet the glance I was shooting in her direction, the seat I had saved for her in front of me remained empty. She hated me, again, and this time there wasn't anything I could do to fix the mess that had been caused. My body was trembling all over, in a pit of rage. Jackson hadn't said a single word since the confrontation. He had sat in his seat, his head buried within his arms. He was avoiding any means of conversation, a very wise decision on his part.

The heels of Ms. Phillips clanked their way into the classroom;  she continued her normal routine of perching behind the depths of her desk, filling in the attendance on her computer, and sips of her morning coffee before addressing the class as a whole as to what our assignment would be that day - as if we weren't already aware. "Good morning everyone," she address quickly, "No substitute teacher today, I'm sure you all got a bunch of notes taken in. Welcome back, Ms. Raven, I believe Cullen was supposed to drop by your house yesterday to exchange the notes from yesterday?" 

Raven peered up from her notebook, "He did, actually there is something I would like to discuss. Cullen and I are not a good fit for this project, I feel we would both benefit greatly if we switched partners? I don't see this pair-up working out to the best of it's capability."

Ms. Phillips had a look of disappointment on her face, "While I wish that were possible, unfortunately we are too far into the projects to switch partners. It wouldn't be fair to another pair, also yourselves, to have to start over from scratch with only two weeks of preparation left Your drafts are also due this Friday, I just don't see where mixing up the pairs will help anybody. The best advice I can give the both of you is to just stick it out, ride it out, and hope for the best." She turned to face her computer and continued her typing before chiming up again, "Go ahead and get with your partners, let's start today out on the right foot."

Raven gave me the evil eye as she watched me approach the chair beside her, "Don't think I'm going to enjoy this anymore than you are. You're dead to me, Cullen McIntyre. Mark my words, you'll get what's coming to you. You'll wish you had never met me." 

Her threats rang out in my ears, and caused for my heart to sting. I wasn't used to to this kind of torture coming from a woman. I was used to breaking hearts, taking names, and moving on with my life. I wasn't able to mentally process such hatred, was it because I wasn't the one who did the heartbreaking? Why did I care so much about how she felt about me, or how she saw me? 

On the other side of the room I watched as Marcy went on with her life, as if she didn't notice the damage she had already caused. That was Marcy though, the only person she cared for was herself. She was happy as long as she got whatever it was she wanted at the end of the day, today was the day she wanted to see my life in shambles. That's what she strived for, and with the help of her minion, it's exactly what she had gotten.

"I just need to know one thing from you," I jumped as the sound of Raven's voice chimed up, "Why did you hate me so much that you had to fake feelings for me? You could've just left me alone; not come to my house and apologize, feed me with some sappy emotions. I knew better than to believe you. Cullen McIntyre; teenage heart throb and jackass having feelings for me, pitiful and pathetic me."

I let out a huge sigh, "Raven, you've got it all wrong. I did like you, I still do. It was Marcy and that bitch of a minion. You've got to watch out for them. I'm not saying this is your fault, it's mine. I was Marcy's latest victim, and because of that, you got caught in the crossfire. You can blame me all you want, you can hate me until the day you die, but you have to understand that I didn't want this. I didn't come to your house with a scheme of damaging you on my mind, I came to your house because I can't bring to terms the way that I feel about you. It's not that I hate you or don't like you, I do a lot and it's scaring me. It's scaring me because I never thought this was possible, I don't see women the way that I see you. You're different."

"What do you mean you're Marcy's latest victim? She's nothing," Raven banged her hand on the desk, catching the attention of everyone around us for a split moment.

I managed to keep my response bottled in until the heads were all facing back towards their desks, "Marcy and I did go out for a little bit. As hard as that is to believe because she's far from my type, it happened. It lasted for about a month and got to the point where Marcy was materialistic. She was materialistic from the very beginning but it became worse when the holidays floated around, and Marcy had thins thing about entitlement. I broke it off and she near lost her shit, literally."

"I don't see where this has anything to do with me, Cullen," I caught her rolling her eyes in frustration out of the corner of my eye, "You dumped her, so fucking what. That shit happens all the time. People get dumped every single day, and it's not as if Marcy was the first girl you had ever dumped." 

"You're right, she wasn't," I started out, "Marcy was just the most recent. Marcy wasn't done with me, and honestly if I had to say this I think she was far from done with me. Like I said, she was self entitled and she will do anything within her power to get what she wants. That includes hurting someone, hurting you." 

"So she wanted to hurt me," she scoffed, "Well it worked, but how did it work?" 

"Michelle," I began once more, "Michelle is your next door neighbor, Michelle is also one of Marcy's minion. Minion meaning she will do anything in her power to please Marcy, including hurting someone else to get Marcy's attention. I talked to someone yesterday, someone who clearly resided in your neighbor's house or at least was your neighbor's lawncare maintenance man, he's the one who told me to come knock on your door. The rest I couldn't fully tell you, I can't say the man went inside and ran his mouth to Michelle, just like I can't say Michelle and Marcy weren't gawking from Michelle's bedroom window." 

Raven let out a faintly quiet sigh, "How can I believe you, Cullen? You have no clue how much I want to believe you, and how much I want to just move forward with my life. This place is still so new to me, I wanted to start this change out right. It's like everything I've done so far has been wrong. I just want something to go right for once."

I brought her face to look clear into my eyes and watched as her eyes welled up with tears, her heartbreak causing mine to sting once more. "If I could kiss you right now, I would. That wouldn't prove much, I know, but if it would make you smile."

"Cullen," she moved her face away from my touch, "I just want this to be real."

I sat there and debated my next words closely, I didn't want to say the wrong thing. She was heartbroken, and even though it wasn't my fault I felt solely to blame. "I feel like I'm just living here on this Earth, I could drop off the face at any time. The saddest part of it all is I don't think anyone would notice. Then along came you, and it's like I was living for something. I had someone who looked forward to seeing me every day, and I always looked forward to seeing her." I took a few deep breaths before continuing my manuscript, "You've changed everything about me, you may not see it but I'm telling you. Raven, I wouldn't ask anyone this because it's not something I do, but with you it's something I want to do. I want to do everything differently, I want you to be the first for so many things, I wish you could be the first for everything. I can't change me being with others before you, but I can start by making it right now. Will you please go to Prom with me?"

A look of surprise and shock was seen on her face when she looked back at me, "Are you sure?"

I nodded and felt the tears welling within my eyes, painstakingly waiting on her to reply. "I've never been more sure about anything or anyone. Will you?" I asked again.

"I wouldn't want to go with anyone else," she nodded her head and brought my face to hers, "I wish I could kiss you now."

The warmth beneath her hands touching my face sent my heart racing, "Me too, babe."