Through Pain We Survive

Chapter 22

***TRIGGER WARNING- drugging and homicide mentions***

Gwen went back to their bedroom. She closed the door behind her and walked to the closet.

I'm fine, right? I told AJ it was fine. I'm just overreacting, I'm here, and I'm healthy. It's okay!

She looked through a few shirts and took three out to chose from. She laid them on the bed and took a step back to look at them all. She thought about what had transpired the past two days her mind wandered.

I... I was... drugged. I was drugged! I..I could've... He could've...

Gwen started feeling hot all the sudden, even though she was just in a short sleeved shirt and jeans.

I could've died! He could've killed me... why did he do that? Why didn't I listen?!?

Gwen's breathing started getting faster and more shallow.

Why didn't I listen to anyone?! They knew something was off! Why is he trying to hurt me? If AJ hadn't found me in time.. if I never got home...

Gwens vision started to get blurry, and she started feeling dizzy. Leaning against the wall, her thoughts just wouldn't stop.

Why was he like that at the cafe?! Was he trying to kill me?! Was it really him? If I stayed longer, I could've gotten into a car accident... I could've hurt someone!  What if I never came home.. he... he could've killed me! I COULD HAVE DIED!!!

Gwen was now breathing was fast and her eyes were full of tears. She leaned on the wall for support, but her arms where shaking uncontrollably. She could barley stand. The tears streamed down her face.

Why was I being so dumb?! Why didn't I notice?! I should've known better... I should've realized... But WHY? Why was I so naïve and blind? He could've killed me, cause I was so stupid!

Gwen slid down the wall, she was dizzy and couldn't see cause of how much she was crying. She was so hot, and was shaking uncontrollably.

What's happening? Why is this happening. Why...

She was now sobbing, curled up in a ball.  There was a knock at the door.

"Hey Honey, I heard..." AJ opened the door and saw his love on the floor, curled up in a ball crying and shaking uncontrollably. "Gwen!" He rushed over to her and held her tight.

"You're okay, I'm right here. Let it all out." AJ whispered to her, trying to comfort her the best he could. Stroking her back, his heart broke for her. He knew there was nothing he could do at this point to help, other than being there for her when she needed him.

A bit of time passed before Gwen was able to calm down. "I'm sorry, Baby. I was so stupid, I should have known—"

AJ cut her off with a kiss. "No. Don't do that to yourself. You were seeing the good in people. It's one of the many things I love about you." He rested his forehead on hers. "We will get through this how we get through everything— together."

They sat like that for a few moments longer. When she felt ready, AJ helped her up. Grabbing her into a hug, he held on to her like his life depended on it.

AJ lifted Gwen's chin with the crook of his finger and looked into her eyes. "I know you're scared. I'm scared too. I was terrified I was going to lose you last night. But I know you're here now, I know we're here together. We are going to get through this, no matter what stands in our way."

Gwen closed her eyes and leaned her head onto AJ. "Thank you. Thank you for being here, for holding me, for being you." Her stomach grumbled.

He smiled at her. "You're welcome. Maybe we should get ready now, what do you say? Feed that grumbly in your tummy?"

Gwen lifted her head up and smiled at him. "Okay." She took a shaky breath and slowly turned to get her clothes. Turning back around, she had a look on her face. "Maybe we should just get take out and come back here though. I don't know if I can handle going out tonight. I just want to be with you."

AJ smiled at her and kissed her forehead. "Whatever you need, my love."

They finished getting ready and went out to get food.

Nate meanwhile had his own date to get ready for. He wasn't particularly looking forward to seeing Sara with how she had been acting lately. He needed to talk to her about that picture anyway.

His phone made a text notification sound.

"Running behind at work today. Can we make it 7:30?"

He replied back affirmative, and sat down at his desk. He wanted to go through all that had happened between Sara and himself just to see if it was worth staying in this relationship.

He noted how jealous of Becca she was. Also how she was very secretive. He noted how she was even jealous when it came to Gwen getting some attention from him. She didn't seem supportive of him.

Penelope jumped up on Nate's lap and laid down. He absentmindedly pet her while trying to figure out Sara. She seemed nice enough at first, but as the months have gone on, she really started to show her jealous and insecure side. She was attractive to him, but these other qualities are starting to turn him away from her.

Maybe I'm looking at this all wrong. Maybe with my history, I'm looking for an out? It's been a while since I've actually dated for this long. But why do I have the feeling something is off?

Nate sighed. His phone alerted him to a text from Becca. She was letting him know she got home alright after her errands. He smiled.

She is too sweet. She didn't have to come to the hospital, but she did. She stayed with us for hours. Something she didn't have to do at all. She has the kindest heart. But, if I'm not careful, I'm going to do something I'll regret. There have been so many times I've just wanted to kiss her, to show her what she means to me, how much I love her, but I can't. Not now. I'm not going to cheat on Sara, no matter what is happening.

But I don't want to break up with Sara. She's very nice. Maybe I'm just reading her wrong. Maybe she has been hurt a lot before, and that's why she's jealous of other females in her boyfriend's life.

Nate got up from his desk and started pacing around. He liked two different women. One had been his best friend for years. The other he'd only recently met, but he enjoyed her company. He felt he needed to give her a chance.

He sighed and went to his closet. He picked out his outfit and got changed.