Through Pain We Survive

Chapter 89

***TRIGGER WARNING- Violence mentions***

"Are you absolutely sure you want to do this, Cat?" Mira Lynne asked for the third time that day. She kept flashing back to the last time.

"Mira Lynne, I need to do this. He doesn't get to sit in prison thinking he got some of the job done, and I want answers," she adjusted the cuff of her jacket. "I know you're worried, but we beat him once. It's not impossible."

Mira Lynne sighed. "Okay. Do you want me to go with you?"

"Do you want to?" Cat looked back at her. "I didn't really think about it. If you want to, I won't stop you. I'm just worried it might be too much for..." She paused. This situation would be too much for anyone. "For us. Us."

"Cat, I won't go back to him with you, but I feel you could use some moral support. You are right. This is too much. But you have me to lean on. I'll go."

"...Thank you, Mira Lynne. You're the greatest friend a girl could have." She grabbed her keys. "Are you ready?"

Mira Lynne took a deep breath and nodded. "Let's go. Are you going to be okay to drive, or do you want me to?"

"I... I need to make the drive there," Cat said.

"Okay. If you want me to drive on the way back, just say so."

They get in the car and have a silent drive. Mira Lynne kept glancing over to Cat, but Cat stoically kept looking forward in her own world.

Once they parked, Cat took a deep breath.

"I can do this." Cat stepped out of the car, and looked at the building. "I... I can do this..."

Mira Lynne got out and followed Cat into the building. She sat down while Cat went to the receptionist desk.

"Can I help you, Miss?" The receptionist seemed bored.

"I'd like to speak with..." Cat trailed off, flashes of the past flooding her mind.

"Miss, are you okay?"

"Y-Yes, sorry." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I need to speak with Damien Grant."

She typed a few strokes on her keyboard. "Okay, I'll have Officer Taylor take you back." She nodded to the officer.

They walk back to the meeting room and the officer motioned for Cat to sit. Another officer brought in Damien a couple minutes later.

"Why, my pretty Kitty Cat. I knew you couldn't stay away."

"Be quiet. You hold no power here." Cat snapped.

"Oh, don't I? I did what I wanted to accomplish. Two menaces are out of my life. Forever."

"They survived, Damien. And they aren't menaces. You are."

"I know where I shot Sara. She's dead. For certain. AJ was just lucky that his beautiful wife was there to save him." He smirked. "We both know she should be with me."

"Gwen belongs with AJ, and nothing will ever change that. As for Sara... She survived, Damien. She's paralyzed, but she was saved in time." This time, it was Cat's turn to smirk. "You have no ground to stand on, Damien."

Damien's face fell and grew pale. "Wha—how— that's not possible! I shot her in the back! She should be dead!"

"By that logic, so should I. You came into my home, into my life, and tried to kill me and Mira Lynne." Cat shook her head. "You didn't get the job done, and now you're going to rot here."

"No— I—" he cleared his throat. "She's alive? So is AJ? I— there's nothing I can do, is there?"

"Nope. Attempted first degree murder is punishable by a life sentence. And considering you tried to kill multiple people, as well as your other charges..." Cat stopped, pondering for a moment. "You're gonna be here the rest of your life."

Cat watched Damien's face fall. "You've done your research. I guess you're right."

"I like my facts." There was a part of Cat that was satisfied. This man used to have so much power over her life, but that all changed the second he decided to use that gun.

"I used to be able to predict what you would do, how you would act, what you would say... what changed?"

"I learned how to be unpredictable. I learned how to defy my mind and my logic, and it brought me more power than I could ever dream of." She took a deep breath. "I've made this assumption, but this time, I'll ask you. And this time, I want an answer. Did you actually ever love me, Damien?" She stared intently in his eyes.

He looked at her pensively. "I did. In the beginning. My relationship with Sara had started to become tiring and monotonous, and I wanted something different, but I didn't want to give her up. When I first saw you during my class, you took my breath away. You were so beautiful. You still are- actually even more so. I could not wait to get to know you. Once you finally agreed to go out with me, I was elated. I feel I already loved you then. I learned so much about you, and just kept falling deeper." He closed his eyes and sighed.

Opening his eyes, he continued. "I fell out of love with you. However, I loved the control. I loved controlling people. I guess— I guess I never figured out the difference in loving the person and loving the feelings."

"If anything about your home life as a kid was true, I'm sure that had a major part in how you act now." Cat shook her head. "I can't help you anymore, Damien."

"It was true. My Uncle did treat me that way. He treated all of us that way. My Aunt never had the strength to leave him— she always made excuses for him and that is what I feel made me think it's okay to keep treating women the way I have. I learned how to from my Uncle, and I learned that it's acceptable from my Aunt." He took a deep breath. "I figured you wouldn't be able to help me anymore. I was in a rage when I came to you. All hope had been lost when you left me. I didn't think you'd ever help me again."

"Up until the last moment, I wanted to help you." Cat shook her head again. "I may be many things, but a liar is not one of them."

"I never thought you were. I just thought hope had already been lost, so I didn't believe that you would want to help me. I'd already done so much to hurt you..."

"You have. And my mind and my body will have trauma from everything you've done to me." She sighed. "I can't change the facts. You tried to kill me three times and failed each time. Not to mention the other people you tried and failed to kill in your futile quest with your tunnel vision."

Damien hung his head. "I can be quite stubborn, can't I?" He looked up to her with a sad half-smile.

"Yeah." Cat felt a twinge of sympathy. "Look, I know you'd probably love to talk to me forever, but I should really be wrapping this up soon. So... Is there anything else you want to say to me before I go?"

Damien took a long look at her. "With all the abuse you went through with your mom, why didn't you turn out like her? Like me?"

"I made a promise that I would never hurt anyone like my mother did. Like you did. I knew it was wrong from a young age. Maybe that's the difference. One of us knew what was wrong and the other didn't." Cat sighed. "In an alternate timeline, we would probably be in each other's places."

Cat stood and signaled to the officer she was done.

"How did you know it was wrong? I thought it was how everyone lived. I thought it was how life was supposed to be..."

"I saw how other families treated their children at school events and such. Being analytical saved me." She sighed. "I wish you had the help I had. Maybe this would have never happened if you had it."

The door closed between them. Damien sat at the table, staring at the space where Cat had been. "Maybe not..."

"Come on, Grant. Let's get you back."

The officer walked Damien back to his cell. Damien still seemed distant. How was I supposed to know it wasn't how everyone else lived?

Cat took a deep breath, and walked back out towards the reception desk. "Thank you for letting me speak to him." She said quietly.

"You're very welcome miss. You have a nice day."

Mira Lynne stood and walked with Cat to the car. She could tell Cat needed to process some things in her mind. "Want me to drive?"

"Yes please."

She retrieved the keys from Cat and took them both home.