Through Pain We Survive

Chapter 90

***TRIGGER WARNING- Violence mentions***

Mira Lynne and Cat got back to the house. Mira Lynne knew Cat had a lot on her mind, so she waited for Cat to open up to her. She cleaned up around the house a bit, washed the dishes, and ran the vacuum.

A little later, she heard Cat come into the living room where she was reading. Mira Lynne put her book on her lap. "Hey."

"Hey." Cat sat down beside her.

"You okay?"

"No." Her head was down, and her face was hidden. It was hard to tell what she was feeling.

"You wanna talk? It's okay if you don't, I just thought maybe—"

"You're going to hate me!" Her hands gripped her knees, pulling back the fabric of her pants slightly.

"What? No, I could never. Cat, whatever it is, I promise you I won't hate you."

Cat took a deep breath. "I saw a new side of him today."

"Okay— what do you mean? How so?"

"He was... He was scared. He wasn't trying to manipulate anyone, he wanted answers. He wanted to know how I didn't become like him." She looked at her hands. "And for a moment... For a single moment, all I wanted to do was reach my hand out to him and help him out of rock bottom."

"Well, if he was actually showing that, I can see why you'd feel that way. But remember- you have to be strong and know he is in jail for a reason. He tried killing people. Multiple times. Even if he's finally seeing what he did was wrong, he's not getting off easy."

"I know." She looked out the window. "If I'm being honest, if Nancy hadn't taken me in years ago, I probably would've ended up like him. Bitter and angry at the world for something I couldn't control."

Mira Lynne put her arm around Cat. "Everything happens for a reason, and in the ways it's supposed to. The universe knew you were supposed to turn out this way- with so much compassion. You have a heart of gold, Cat. Your mom doesn't know what she's missing, and all the people who've treated you like garbage have only been garbage themselves."

"Do you really mean that?" Cat looked back to her.

"Of course. You're awesome, and anyone who doesn't see that is just blind, and not worthy of your time."

Cat smiles. "Yeah... You're right." She hesitated for a moment, looking back at her room.

"What else is going on? You still seem... distant." She removed her arm from around Cat.

"I..." She looked down in her lap again. "I don't know what I want to do regarding my living situation and work yet."

"Hey, it's okay. Take your time deciding your living arrangements. As for your job, I'm sure AJ and Gwen will understand whatever you decide. Nancy said she'll be there for you when you're ready. You've been through a lot lately. You need to recover before you get back to some semblance of normal."

"Time was never on my side, Mira Lynne. Going through something like this..." She sighed. "Since I was young, I was always super aware that my clock is always ticking. It's why I hated being locked up in my house after work all the time. It's why I..."

"Why you never wanted to be in a relationship? You felt it would tie you down? Trap you?"

"Yeah, that sounds about right." She said glumly. Yet, she still seemed distant. Like this was a hole that no matter how deep anyone dug, it would take ages to find the treasure.

"Oh, gosh, Cat. I'm so sorry, I'm not— I shouldn't have said that." Mira Lynne looked down at her hands.

"No, it's okay. You're right. But, it's also the reason I kept the wedding dress and what accompanied it. Even if I didn't want to be in a relationship, a part of me still wants to have a dance in a wedding gown. To find someone who loves me so much that they'd want to dance with me." She laughed. "It sounds stupid, I know."