Through Pain We Survive

Chapter 88

***TRIGGER WARNING- Violence mentions***

Becca and Nate walked into AJ's hospital room. He was standing with crutches, ready to go. Gwen was right by his side in case he felt unstable.

"There you go, Baby." Gwen looked up. "Hey guys!

"Hey! Gwen, I brought the change of clothes you asked for." Becca handed her a bag.

"Thank you." She looked to AJ. "I'll be back. Don't try anything." She smiled and raised her eyebrow to him. She kissed him on the cheek and went to get changed.

"How are you feeling?" Nate asked.

"I'm still in a lot of pain, but I'm alive. That's what I'm grateful for."

"Us too."

AJ sighed. "I'm glad to be getting out of here. I'd rather lay around at home than here. Of course, it will be hard for me not to do anything." He got a look on his face.

"You okay?" Nate looked concerned.

"We're going to have to let the fans know what happened. They'll wonder why all the sudden I'm on crutches, and will be for a long period of time."

"I think it'd be a good idea to say something either on a social media post or during REPlayed this week."

"Yeah, I'll have to."

Gwen came back out looking more refreshed. "I feel a bit better now." She looked to AJ. "You okay?"

"He's realized he's going to have to say something to the fans," Nate filled Gwen in.

"Oh, yeah. I'm sure they'll support you. Did you want me to write something up for you?"

"Nah, it'll be better to come from me."

"Okay, Baby. If you change your mind, let me know."

AJ nodded. "Okay, I'm ready to practice walking with these."

"Just take it slow, okay? Remember you are still healing."

AJ blew out a quick breath, then put the crutches in front of him. He swung his body forward, catching himself with his good leg. He repeated this around the room, trying to get used to his new range of mobility.

"You're doing good," Gwen said, smiling.

Dr. Mahdi knocked on AJ's door."I see someone is glad to be out of bed."

"Definitely! I'm ready to break out of here," AJ hopped over to Dr. Mahdi. "Are those the discharge papers?"

"Yep. Just sign here, here, and here. Gwen, I'll need you to sign as well to agree you'll be with him and take care of him."

"Of course." They both signed the papers and Gwen handed them back to Dr. Mahdi.

"Now, the nurse will come back with your copies and your discharge instructions, then you'll be free to go!"

"Thank you so much, Dr. Mahdi. We really appreciate all this," Gwen said.

"No problem. You folks enjoy your day!" Dr. Mahdi left the four of them alone.

"So, once you break out of here, what do you want to do?" Gwen looked at AJ.

"Let's get something to eat. I'm starving."

"We can do that." Gwen smiled at AJ. She was so grateful he was still alive.

"Do you guys want to stop somewhere together, or did you want to be alone?" Becca asked.

Gwen shrugged to AJ. "It's up to you, Baby."

"We can all go somewhere together. How about Denny's?"

"Sounds good," Nate said.

The nurse came in a bit later with the paperwork, and they all headed out of the hospital.

After getting their fill of Denny's food, the couples parted ways. AJ and Gwen arrived home. Stepping into the foyer, Gwen could still smell cleaner from where Becca cleaned up the blood from AJ. She sucked in a shaky breath, not wanting to think of what could have happened.

"Okay, let's get you inside and seated." Gwen helped AJ to the couch. After putting their belongings away, she came back and sat down on the couch with him. He put his head on her shoulder and she kissed the top of his head.

Readjusting, he laid his head in her lap. She stroked his hair to relax him. She took in another shaky breath, thinking of how different this could have ended.

"Honey, are you okay?" He turned so he was looking up at her.

"Yeah, I'm fine." She plastered on a smile.

"Gwen—" AJ knew she wasn't, but was trying to put on a brave front.

Her face fell. "Okay, I'm not really. I keep replaying you getting shot in my head, and I keep thinking how all this is my fault, and I keep thinking how you could have died, and I even had a dream you did die, and I keep blaming myself for all this. If you would have died, it would have been all my fault, and I couldn't— I can't—" she was cut off by a sob.

"Oh, Honey." AJ sat up and embraced her as best he could. Letting her cry and get everything she needed out, he sat back when she had calmed down. "Gwen, none of this is your fault. Please don't even entertain that thought. Look." He tilted her chin to look at him. He took her hand and placed it on his chest. "I'm here. I'm alive. I'm with you. You don't ever have to think about what would have happened, because it didn't. I'm right here. My heart is strong, beating as it should." He looked down, then back to her. "Do you know what kept me going? You. Knowing you were there by my side, every step of the way. Knowing I had you waiting for me." He kissed her forehead and wrapped his hand around hers on his chest.

They sat that way for a while just being with each other. Gwen took a deep breath after a bit. "I hear what you're saying. But I will always feel as if this whole thing is my fault. I got you shot. I am the reason you had to have a bullet removed from your leg. If I hadn't gone to that class, none of this would have happened. He wouldn't have fixated on me. He wouldn't have started stalking me. He wouldn't have hurt you."

"Honey, you have been hurt in all this, too. You are not at fault. Not in the slightest. Your only fault is being too beautiful." AJ smiled at Gwen while she blushed. "Honey, I do not hold any of this against you at all. You did nothing to warrant any of this." He kissed her forehead. "My regret is not being able to protect you better." He hung his head down.

"Oh, no. Don't you start." She lifted his head with the crook of her finger. "Baby, we're not going to get anywhere thinking like this. I don't blame you for anything. You literally stepped in front of a gun for me. Baby," she put her hand on his cheek, "you risked your own life for mine. You are my hero."  She kissed him.

"Okay, you're right. We're both here, we're both alive. We are not to blame for any of this." He put his forehead on hers and sighed.

"Come here." Gwen shifted them to have AJ's head laying in her lap again. "We need some rest. You relax here and I'll be here with you."

"Okay," AJ said sleepily.

After a few moments of silence, AJ fell asleep. Gwen scrolled on her phone for a little bit, but soon succumbed to slumber herself.