Business With Lust

Chapter 46

Diana's POV

I hug my arms around myself, crying silently, staring at nothing.

It been over two hours now. Alex still isnt back yet.

I dont know what happened or if-..or if he's even-...

Another wave of tears comes at just the though.

Harriet and Quinn stayed with me for the first half hour, which I was grateful for. But I needed to be alone. So I've been here ever since, worrying.

I should of been there. I should of noticed this or-..or been there for him more.

How did I not realize..

I scowl at myself.

The door opens, and I freeze, watching Alex walk in. He closes the door, before walking over to me on the bed.

"He's okay" Alex nods.

I cover my face, sobbing depsite feeling so relieved.

Alex lifts me up, placing me on his lap. He pulls my hands gently away from my face, wrapping them around his neck before hugging me tightly.

I cling onto him, burying my face in his shoulder as my cries get silenced against him, hit shirt collecting all my tears.

He rubs my back, hugging me even tighter with his other hand.

"He took some paracetamol. Alot of it. They managed to get it all out quickly before it did much damage" He begins, and I nod, trying to calm down. I need to calm down. Its all okay now.

"His arms were..completely covered in scars, and some fresh cuts as well. Whatever was happening had obviously been going on for a long time, so dont blame youself for not being there that one night" Alex tells me, and I nod.

"How didn't I notice.." I whisper. I haven't seen him in a shirt in years. Literal years. After dad died he just stop..How didnt I fucking notice.

I'm so stupid. So fucking stupid. What person stops wearing fucking shirts! Thats not normal.

"Diana" Alex says. "Believe me. If someone doesn't want you to find out about there scars, they will do everything to make sure you won't. This is not your fault. This is no ones fault" Alex tells me, and I nod, my eyes stinging with tears I refuse to let fall.

"Are you okay? I know seeing that was probably triggering" I mumble, rubbing my eyes. "Dont worry about me right now Diana" He whispers, hugging me tight.

"Hes asleep but you can see him now if you want" Alex tells me and I shake my head. "I'm not ready yet" I whisper. He nods, kissing my head.

"Try get some sleep okay?" He tells me. I hum, closing my eyes.

I've been fighting sleep for an hour now, not letting myself sleep till I knew he was alive and okay.

Now I know he's okay, I allow myself to drift off to sleep, knowing he'll be there when I wake up.

*****

I wake up, the room around me dark. Rubbing my eyes, I grab Alex's phone and check the time.

Six am.

Not wanting to go back to sleep, I stand up, quietly walking out of Alex's bedroom. The hall is dark, and the whole house is silent. Which is unsurprising since its the early hours of the morning, but still weird since every time I've been here so far it's never been silent.

Walking down the stairs, I go down the hallway, not exactly knowing where I'm going.

I've never been down here, since I've never exactly had a reason to.

Coming across the first door, I see it has Jay's name on it. It doesn't take a genius to figure out thats his office. I keep walking down the hall, coming across a stairs leading down. I know thats probably the basement. Or the underground gym they apparently have.

I pass another door, thats slightly open. Glancing inside, I see a white room. This has to be the medical room.

Pushing the door open,  I see I have indeed found the medical room.

But no Casey. Because the beds empty.

Panicking, I quickly run down the hall, before heading back up the stairs. I go into Alex's room, running over to the bed. I dont hesitate to shake Alex, my mind too focused on the fact Casey is gone.

"What?" Alex groans. "Alex" I mumble, shaking him again to get him to fully wake up. He rubs his eyes, sitting up on one of his elbows as he rubs his eyes with the other hand.

"Are you okay? What's wrong?" Alex mumbles groggily.

"Caseys not in his bed" I tell him. "Diana stay calm okay? He's probably just wandering around the house" Alex tells me as he moves his legs out of bed and places them on the ground.

"What if-"

"He didn't. Come on, lets go" He stands up, taking hold of my hand that I wasn't even aware was shaking.

He leads me down the stairs, going into the living room and seeing its empty. He walks us into the kitchen which is also empty. "There he is" Alex tells me, pointing to the garden.

I look, seeing Casey lying on the grass, staring up at the sky.

"I'm sorry I-" "Dont be" He cuts me off, kissing my forehead.

"I'll wait here okay? Incase he needs help getting back inside" Alex tells me, taking a seat on one of the kitchen stools.

I nod, walking over to the glass sliding door and opening it. I wrap my arms around myself as the cold air causes goosebumps to rise on my body.

I walk over to Casey, not saying a word as I lay down beside him.

We stare up at the sky silently, and I feel Casey take my hand in his.

"I'm sorry" He whispers. I turn my head to the side, but he keeps his head up.

"Dont be. None of this is your fault-" My voice is shaky as my eyes sting with tears "I should've noticed you weren't okay" I tell him. "You couldn't of. I purposely hid it. There's nothing you could of done" Casey tells me.

I sigh, looking back up at that stars. "I have a problems Diana, I know that. But you cant blame youself because you didn't" He tells me quietly.

"But there were signs. You pushed me away, stayed in your room, barely ate- I shouldn't of known the signs-" I mumble. "How were you supposed to know the signs? Please dont blame yourself" Casey whispers. I decide to just drop it.

"How long?" I ask him. "Around two years" He says after a few seconds go by of silence. "It comes in waves kind of. I'll be okay for a few weeks. Then I have a week where I feel really shit everyday and I want to end it. Usually I get through it. But lately its been so much worse, and I got sick of the endless cycle and saw a way out" He tells me.

I frown. "Death isn't a way out Casey. There's things that can help. People thag can help" I tell him, and he nods. "I know" He whispers.

I sigh. "Im glad you're okay" I tell him. "Im sorry. I probably traumatised you and everyone else" Casey mumbles.

"Dont apologise. Everyone is just glad you're okay" I tell him.

"Did Charlotte see me?" He whispers. "No. But she knows what happened" I say.

"I'll talk to her" He says, but I shake my head. "No. You need to rest Casey. She'll come when she's ready" I tell him and Casey nods slowly.

I look back up at the sky as we lie in silence, having nothing else to say to eachother but no quite ready to go back inside just yet.