Red Vs Blue season 14 male oc

Fifty shades of Red

The words "Fifty Shades of Red" appear in space.

Cut to Lemons running towards a line Red soldiers standing in front of a training facility, The facility shoots a bolt of energy into the sky.

Lemons: Good afternoon, gentlemen. My name is Special Officers Lemons. Command has seen fit to gather you here today because we believe that each and every one of you exhibit the specific traits we're looking for in commanding officers! Now, this is not your standard officers training course. Today we are looking for one man and one man only to lead a newly formed team to victory against the Blue devils.

Red Soldiers: Sir, yes, sir!

Lemons: Excellent. Now how about we go down the line and introduce ourselves? And I want to know exactly what it is you hope to achieve during your time here in the Red army.

McGruff: Name's Johnson McGruff. My primary directive is to seek, destroy, and completely eradicate any members of the Blue army, sir!

Daggerknife: Hank Daggerknife's the name, and killing Blue's is my game, sir.

Sarge: Sarge, reporting for duty! As far as I'm concerned-

Lemons:(stutters) I'm sorry, your name is Sarge?

Sarge: Yup! Pappie always told me to dress for the job you want! Figured I'd just take it a little bit further. (laughs)

Daggerknife: Damn, I respect that!

Lemons: Um, how about we just skip the introductions and get right to the tryouts?

Red Soldiers: Sounds good to me! Jinx! Ah, you got me! Double jinx! Well played! Triple jinx! Damn it!

Cut to the Red Soldiers and Lemons surrounding a Warthog.

Lemons: Alight, men, from this point on, the kiddie gloves are officially off. This first exercise will be testing your ability to communicate under pressure.

Daggerknife: Are we being deployed to a planet with increased gravitational force?

McGruff: Don't be ridiculous. Clearly, we're being sent to an underwater base. I'm perfect for the job sir. Was stationed at Fort Florida. Undersea pressure was enormous.

Lemons: Not that kind of pressure. This vehicle has been fitted with an IED. One of you will be tasked with defusing the explosive, while another will be in charge of walking you through the defusing process, step by step. You will be provided with bomb defusal manual, and tool kit, but the success of this operation will depend entirely upon your communication skills. Corporal Buckshot.

Buckshot: Sir, yes sir!

Lemons: You will be our defuser.

Buckshot: My pleasure!

Lemons: As for your lead-

Sarge: Oh, oh! Permission to volunteer sir?

Lemons: Sarge! I like your attitude. Why don't you show us what you've got?

Daggerknife: (sighs) Lucky.

Cut to Sarge, the Red soldiers, and Lemons taking cover behind a rock while Buckshot is kneeling next to the jeep.

Lemons: Alright everyone! This is a timed explosive! Live fire exercise begins in 3, 2, 1!

Warthog honks and the timer starts counting down.

Buckshot: Alright Sarge, I see the device. What's the first step?

Sarge: Calm down, good buddy. I'm gonna guide you through this and get you home to your family. That's a promise. (turns to McGruff) McGruff, I need you to find me a M7057 Defoliant Projector.