cuts to open space
Vic: Y'know, when most people talk about the Reds and the Blues, they're talking about my boys at Blood Gulch but, lot's of dudes forget that there's a bunch more primary coloured commandos all over the galaxy. And they're all idiots.
Cuts to a desert as a soldier is walking by and farts in his armor soon after.
Turf: Ooh. That one's gonna stink.
Drag: Dammit Turf, they all stink. Every single one always stinks.
Turf: Yeah, but this one reeaally stinks
Drag: We have the worst fucking CO.
Turf: That'll be five laps, Drag.
Drag: Ugh, yes sir.
Morgan: What's the point of this stupid helmet if it doesn't keep the own smell of your farts out
Sue: You just picked the wrong helmet Morgan. I can't smell anything and I look cool as hell. Oh yeah mmm ooh check that ass yeah check my ass yeah
Sue starts stretching
Morgan: Colonel, Turf, sir, we've been serching this desert for hours, there's no way we're gonna find any Blues out here.
Drag stops running and is tired
Drag: Morgan's right, Turf. Plus even if we did find some Blues--
Morgan: Which we're not.
Drag: I'm not sure anything could survive out here for more than a day or so.
Turf: I'm sorry, but was that five laps, Lieutenant?
Drag: Sir, I'm carrying a pound of sand between my buttchecks and i am literally covered head to toe in armour.
Turf: That's a personal problem, Lieutenant, and this is a professional situation. We have an assignment: to eradicate the Blue--
Turf is silenced as someone is communicating through the radio Sue: Sir! Santos is calling from the ship.
Turf: Uuuuggghh. This is Colonel Turf. What's wrong, Santos?
cuts to a ship in space
Santos: How come everytime I check in on you guys, you always assume something's wrong?
Morgan: Tell him it's because something usually is wrong.
Turf: Everything's fine down here, no sign of anything. How's everything on the ship?
Santos: Ug, well, there's no wine bars, I can tell you that.
Drag: He says that every time.
Morgan: And it's never funny.
Turf: Well, hold on, it was a little bit funny the first time.
Sue: Why would they put a wine bar on a spaceship?
Drag: Exactly. It doesn't make any sense. Spaceships don't have wine bars, so why is he so surprised?
Turf: It's absurdist humour, it doesn't have to make sense that's the joke.
Sue: Yeah. But why would they put a wine bar on a spaceship?
Santos: Forget it, you guys are always shitting on my dreams.
Morgan: Your dreams suck.
YOU ARE READING
Red Vs Blue season 14 male oc
FanfictionWe're back come along in these story's I'd the dumb assholes you all know and outhers you have not seen Sorry synopses so short
