Because you loved me

10

The queen tried her best to be stern, tried to be strong, tried to be all that she could possibly be for the little princess that loved her so. She didn't want to put herself in danger of losing the little girl, either to an outside source, or lose her love somehow, even if it were a ridiculous fear.

Meredith was finally able to pull herself onto the bed, gripping the mattress with all of her strength, she pulled on the sheets with her fists, Zoey standing behind her as she helped Meredith get her leg under herself and watched as she pulled herself into a standing position, leaning onto the bed with her hands.

"Are you sure, you're okay, Mommy?" Zoey asked as she watched Meredith shake off the dizziness that she was feeling from hitting her head, and sitting up so quickly.

"I'm alright." Meredith said, though the shakiness in her voice would not have deceived an adult, it appeared to be enough for the little girl who was watching her mother with intense anxiety.

"Here's your chair, Mama... here's your chair." Zoey said, pulling the wheelchair from beside the wall, she slipped it behind Meredith and moved out of the way, where Meredith could see her before she flopped unceremoniously backwards into it, sending it rolling backwards several feet.

"Thank you." Meredith said, watching Zoey look at her with intense concern.

"Mama, I'm gonna go get ready for bed now." Zoey said quickly as she leaned up and kissed her mother on the cheek, running from the room, she missed the perplexed look on her mother's face. Meredith sat in the room for a moment trying to regain her strength a little bit more, trying to push the nausea she was feeling down and out of her mind. She took a slow, deep breath and glanced toward the doorway, she put her hands down and began pushing herself toward the door, feeling the headache slowly disappearing as she made her way through the room, to the doorway. She glanced into the hallway, finding no trace of the little girl, she pushed the wheels a little harder, and heard water running in the bathroom. She pulled herself down the hallway, glancing into the bathroom, she could see the little girl standing on a stepstool, her toothbrush in her mouth as she brushed away, pausing for a moment to grin at herself in the mirror, before she went back to brushing them again.

Meredith smiled as she watched the little girl brush her teeth, a lump in her throat as she reminded herself that her little girl was growing up so fast, that she wasn't the one that that had taught her the millions of things that she already knew how to do. Zoey grinned into the mirror one more time, spit into the sink and rinsed her toothbrush and turned the water off, sliding it into the little travel container that Derek had gotten for her, she hopped from the stepstool and turned, nearly jumping at the sight of her mother sitting in the hallway. Her suddenly shocked look, however morphed into a beautiful smile. "Mommy." She giggled. "You scared me." She said as she skipped into the hallway and leaned to give her mother a kiss on the cheek. "Are you okay, Mommy... you look like you were crying again." She whispered as she noticed the unshed tears in her mother's eyes.

But each time she looked at the little princess, she noticed that she was growing in ways that she had not even imagined. She was getting to be such a big girl, and the queen feared that the bond was slipping away between them, that there would soon be nothing left to learn. She knew it was an unreasonable fear, an unfathomable fear, an impossible fear, but it was there, ever present, and ever nagging in her mind, her heart, her soul, and she couldn't seem to shake it.

"Oh... no, baby, I wasn't crying..." She whispered as she lifted her hand and ran it through her daughter's hair. "I wasn't crying." She said with a half smile as she tilted her head.

"Do you want me to cuddle with you?" She whispered as she tilted her head, watching Meredith carefully for a moment. Since Meredith had been able to move her arms without much pain, there had been many occasions where she would just want to hold the little girl, and those moments were ones that Zoey cherished. She seemed to understand that want, and need for Meredith to feel her against her, and accepted her sometimes clingy actions, because Meredith seldom would ask the little girl, knowing that she was a free spirit, and nothing could hold her back.