You're Joking Right?

It's Time

About a month passed by and my body had been changing constantly. By changing I mean sensations started to feel different. My sight and hearing became heightened while my taste and smell lessened, and I couldn't figure out for the life of me what was going on.  I soon realized that this must mean it's coming. The moment I found out I went down to Delia and Xandra's office so I could inform them. I knocked on the door and waited for a few seconds before I entered. They both looked up at me expectantly since I rarely bothered them while they were in the office unless it was of utmost importance. "It's time" I said and they looked at each other before turning their gazes back towards me and standing up.

"Ok just try to stay calm alright" Xandra said as she approached me and eased me over to the couch sitting me down and rubbing my back. It was all really happening now and there was really nothing I could do to stop it. Delia left the room to inform the girls I assume and I started to hyperventilate like the farther away she got the more unstable I felt. "Honey I need you to breathe with it all going to be fine. We've prepared for this and we already know what to do, I know it's still scary but we have the upper hand" she reassures me. "What can I do to help?" she asks desperately as she watches my shaking frame, "h-hold m-me" I stutter out and she quickly wraps her slender arms around me. 

We sit there in silence as she rocks me back and forth in her arms and I just cry quietly trying to grab ahold of myself. Once I've collected my thoughts and feelings I pull away and wipe my eyes angrily because while I'm up here crying Delia is out there doing all the work. "Enough of that we have work to do" I say standing up abruptly and glancing back at Xandra's bewildered expression before walking towards the door. "Woah woah wait a minute. Delia's got this you can just take breather" she said rubbing her hand up and down my arm. "I did take a break and now I need to get up and go help her. She can't do it all by herself" I say beginning to walk towards the stairs.

"She's more than capable of doing it by herself y/n" she pleads with me, "You know that's not what I meant. I know she CAN but I won't let her burden herself with that" I explain walking down the steps. "You shouldn't have to be burdened either" she presses making me turn around to face her. "Delia is not a burden to me" I say, "You know that's not what I'm saying... we both know what I meant y/n don't shut down and get defensive" she says sternly. "You don't know me. You don't get to tell me things about myself when you have no clue who I really am. None of you know who I am. You know why? Because you never really cared to ask" I sighed, taking a deep breath so I won't get any angrier than I already am. 

"Listen I'm not going to sit here and argue with you right now when there's way more important things to do. If you'd like to join me that's great and if not that's great too" I say taking the stairs two steps at a time to put some distance between us. I get downstairs and follow soft voices to the living room where Delia is wrapping up telling them the plan. At least I assume because they all stand up pretty much simultaneously and start to go their separate ways. Delia scans the room and her eyes land on me, she smiles and rubs the shoulder of a girl she was talking to before making her way over to me. "How ya feeling sun?" she ask me with a sympathetic smile plastered onto her face, "bright as ever" I reply sarcastically. 

Her eyebrows furrow but in the blink of an eye it's gone again and her natural smile returns to her face. "Let's go out to greenhouse really quick" she suggests and I nod taking her hand and following her closely. As we pass the stairs I look up and Xandra is still standing there, when she sees me she turns around and goes back up the stairs. I'll probably have to apologize to her later because I was just really tense and stressed in that moment. Delia and I make it to the greenhouse and I immediately see a plant that needs attention so I go over and start the cut off the dead leaves and water it. "So..." Delia says and I glance at her "What's up? You have that face" I say chuckling and giving her my full attention once I'm done. 

"It's about Xandra" she says and I sit on one of the stools, she comes over and sits beside me before continuing. "You really hurt her feelings earlier, you know how she feels about you and how much she hates to fight with you" she says. "I didn't mean it I just wanted her to let me go and I know I let things get out of hand. I was going to apologize to her later but I wanted her to cool off first I guess cause she seemed pretty mad about it. I didn't even really say anything hurtful Delia" I explain. "She's not mad y/n she's hurt. You said that she didn't know you, in fact you said none of us know you. Do you know how much that can hurt a person to be told they don't care about someone that they love the most in the world? You have to be able to see where she's coming from" She expressed putting a hand on my shoulder. 

"Fine if it's that big a deal I'll go apologize right now" I say standing up, "Y/n what's going on? Are you ok? You really are acting more defensive than usual, you never talk to me like this" she says sadly as she plays with her fingers. "I'm fine I just- I don't even know I just need... I'll figure it out" I say before transmutating so she can't respond. I open the office door and see her sitting on the couch with her head in her hands and her elbows resting on her knees seemingly in a contemplative state. "Hey" I say quietly as I sit down next to her, "Hi" she replies sniffling as she wipes her eyes and nose. "I'm sorry about what I said... I didn't mean it" I say sincerely. 

"You've been saying a lot of things you don't mean lately and frankly I can't take it anymore. I know Delia puts up with your shit because she feels like she has to but I can't keep letting my feelings get crushed. I'll stay and help you guys fight but after that I'm going back home to take a break because this is all way too much for me to handle" she says standing up and walking out before I can even breathe. I know she's right, I've been off lately and just easily agitated but I can't even put my finger on what it is to have an excuse. I don't have time to be thinking about this when we have the fate of the world in our hands so I'll just have to clean up my mess later. 

A/N

gosh reading back over these chapters makes me frustrated cause they're always fighting lmao