You're Joking Right?

Bittersweet Goodbyes

I wake up in the morning and Delia is gone, I assume she's making breakfast for the girls. I sigh and stretch before getting up to brush my teeth and things. I then get dressed and head down stairs, the smell of pancakes getting stronger. I stop at the entrance of the kitchen seeing her swaying her hips lightly to music in her head.

I sit at the island in silence just watching her for a moment longer. She's actually making waffles which sound so good right now. She turns around finally noticing me sitting at the island and jumps. "How long have you been there?" She asks quietly and I shrug in response. "Smells good" I say and she softly smiles turning back to the food. "Almost done" she says and I hum letting her know I heard her. Soon enough the girls come down and I greet them going over to sit with them.

Delia brings the food and we're having a nice breakfast until I feel my phone interrupt me. I pause my conversation and pick it up to see it's none other than Xandra. I leave the table and go out to the greenhouse to take her call. "Yes?" I say slightly annoyed that she's calling me right now. "Y/n?" She replies and I can hear her sniffle along with her broken voice. "Are you ok?" I say instinctively and curse myself for still caring this much.

"Y-yeah... are you- well... do you like it there?" She stutters and I wonder the purpose of her call. "Yeah it's ok" I say nonchalantly because I literally just got here truly. "Are you ever... coming back?" She asks a hint of hope in her voice and I shake my head. "Maybe... you're then one who asked me to leave" I say coldly because why is she asking me to come back now? "I know but- but I didn't mean it..." she says sadly and I roll my eyes, of course she didn't.

"Nothing is stopping you from visiting" I say plainly and I hear her try to cover a sob on the other end of the phone. I instantly regret being so cold with her but I'm really trying to keep it together. "There's a lot stopping me" she says shakily and I internally question her words. "What do you mean?" I ask cautiously and I hear her sniffle again before responding. "Have you talked to D- Cordelia?" She asks, "...yeah" I say slowly.

"So you know why" she states but I'm still confused. "That has nothing to do with you" I say plainly and I can hear her sigh. "She may be right... maybe that's why I got so mad" she says and I shake my head. "So you lied" I say simply, "no I didn't. I just think..." she trails off taking a breath. "You think what? That you weren't telling the whole truth? That her words revealed something you hadn't yet thought about? Speak clearly Xandra" I say getting aggravated.

"Do you want me to come?" She asks avoiding all my questions. "I don't know... I don't want to be caught in the middle" I say honestly. "Afraid of choosing?" She asks, "there's nothing to choose or decide" I say and she hums. "So you've already made your decision" she states with a hint of sadness in her voice. "Like I said I'm not going to choose" I say, "you can't have us both" she says and I sigh."That's not what I meant..." I say and of course perfect timing Cordelia comes to check on me.

"Are you ok?" She asks, "that's her isn't it?" Xandra says to me in my ear. "I'm fine" I reply to Cordelia, "do you need to go?" Xandra asks me and I shake my head. "Are you sure? Are you on the phone?" Cordelia asks and I'm so close to losing my shit I just can't. "I need a minute" I say to Cordelia, "ok I'll go" they say at the same time. "Not you" I say speaking to Xandra but Cordelia turns around and raises her eyebrows.

"Cordelia, I need a minute ok?" I say so they both know who I'm speaking to. "Ok" Delia says hesitantly and leaves me alone with my thoughts and Xandra of course. "Jesus Christ" I mumble, "so that's your choice?" Xandra asks jokingly and I roll my eyes. "Once I have my eyes on someone I don't change my mind. I mean unless it's Sarah Paulson, I'd have to drop you for her" I say jokingly but also... serious. "Xandra?" I say confused once it's silent for a moment, "yes?" I hear behind me and turn around.

It's none other than the woman herself, I hang up the phone and hug her. "I missed you" she whispers in my ear while smelling my hair. I pull back and look at her holding her face in my hands. "I missed you too" I whisper while smiling softly and she grins in response. "I'm sorry I told you to leave" she says sadly, "I'm sorry I left" you say. "Don't apologize, it's not your fault. I was a total bitch and you didn't and don't deserve that. I love you so much" she says sincerely and I tear up a bit.

"I love you too" I say and she gives me a gentle kiss which I eagerly reciprocate. "Let's go home" she says questioningly and I nod, "you should say bye to Delia" she suggests. "How am I gonna tell her?" I ask anxiously and she strokes my hair to calm me down. "She'll know" she says surely and I nod and give her a kiss on the cheek before transporting to my room. I pack up my bags and walk through the bathroom to Delia's room.

"Hey" I say slightly sad and she looks up at me and immediately stands up. She brings me into a tight hug and I wrap my arms firmly around her. "I loved having you here sweetie" she whispers in my ear. "I loved being here, and I'll definitely come back" I say seriously. She pulls back holding me by my shoulders and examining my face. "I understand and I'm not mad, I promise. I love my sister and I love you too and I really want you to be happy. Even if that's not with me" she says sadly but supportively.

"You do make me happy but I can't hurt Xandra and I really love her. You're amazing and I know you'll find someone who can give you what you deserve. I'm sorry I'm not that person but you'll find someone even better than me" I say encouragingly. "I wish you the best sweet girl and you have to come back to visit. And let me know how you're doing" she says quickly.
I nod and give her one last hug before grabbing my bags and going back to Xandra.

I look up to the house before be go home and Delia is in the window looking at us. I blow her a kiss and Xandra wraps her arm around my waist and waves at her. Delia waves back and then we're gone back at the house.