You're Joking Right?

Ignorance is Bliss

I wake up late, 3pm to be exact, and I stretch and rub my eyes before groaning and getting up. I walk downstairs to see Xandra sitting in the kitchen with her coffee. "Morning" I say walking past her and to the fridge for some juice. I pour my juice and she still hasn't responded so I turn to her and lean my back against the counter. "Last might you were begging me to talk to you and now you give me the silent treatment?" I asked smirking before sipping my juice.

"Seems like you had a lot to say last night. Thought you might be tired from all that" she says coldly. Ahhh "did I keep you up sleeping beauty?" I replied sarcastically and she rolled her eyes. "I just... you know what? Never mind. You can go back y/n" she says calmly and I furrow my eyebrows at her sudden change of mind. "What?" I ask confused, "go back" she says again but I'm still confused. "After all that? Now you're just telling me I can go? Giving me permission at that" I scoff.

"That's clearly where you wanna be" she says taking another sip of her coffee before abandoning it on the counter. "Fine if that's what you want... since all everyone does is cater to you" I whisper the last part under my breath. "What did you say?" She turns around with anger in her eyes and I roll mine. I put down my finished cup of juice and try to walk past her but she grabs my arm.

Tighter than she did last night and it hurts... like a lot. "Nothing" I say with slight fear in my eye and she quickly lets go. I run up to my room and pack all the shit I can think of then teleport to the academy. Before I leave I see her running into my room watching me disappear before her eyes. I find myself in the room I was in before I left and Cordelia was laying down in the bed. I gently set my things down and crawl in the bed behind her.

She jumps and turns around quickly to see that it's me and I wrap my arms around her. "Y/n?" She asks confused and I nod, "I'm back, per request of the queen" I joke and she gives me a mom look. "Ok sorry. She did ask me to come back though" I say seriously and she tilts her head. "What did you say?" She asks hesitantly and I take my eyes off her for the first time. "Y/n" she says sternly and I sigh, "that I hated her..." I say quietly and even in the dark I see her eyes widen.

"You need to go apologize" she says sitting up and making the lights come on. "I warned her Delia... I said she shouldn't push me because I didn't wanna talk. At least I told her specifically in that moment that I hated her. I told her I just wanted to think and then I called you. Then I woke up this morning and when I saw her she told me to just come back" I finished. She looked me in the eyes sadly and pulled me into a hug.

"I'm glad you're back but I'm sad you're fighting" she says pulling away. "Now you can tell me what I've been waiting for" I said rubbing my hands together. "Wh- oh... I don't think it's the right time" she says quietly and I pout giving my best puppy eyes.
"No y/n" she says trying to fight back a smile, "pweaseee" I say still pouting. "Ugh just stop looking at me like that I can't deny you" she says and I smile accomplished. "I may have said something that set her off when she called me" she says with a nervous smile.

"When she called you?" I asked confused and she nodded slowly. "Yeah. She called me before she came here asking if I knew where you were. I told her you were safe and she obviously knew you were here. Then she came to my room and we had a little chat..." she trails off and bites her lip nervously. "About...?" I ask her to continue and she takes a deep breath.

"I told her that if she just let you cool off... that you'd be ready to talk later. To at least let me talk to you and tell you she wanted to talk. Then we got into a heated argument and I said some things I probably shouldn't have..." she says looking at me. "Like what?" I ask worried at the way she's looking at me. She looks down and fiddles with her hands before speaking. "I told her that... that you're better off here with- with someone that actually..." she gestures with her hands but I'm not getting it.

"Actually...?" I say confused and I see her close her eyes and bite on her cheek. "You can tell me..." I say putting my hand on hers and rubbing circles on the back. "With someone that actually loves you" she blurts out and my hand stops involuntarily. I'm afraid to take my hand away but also afraid to leave it there. I decided to just leave it and just my other hand to lightly scratch my eyebrow. My mouth is open but I have nothing to respond with.

"Breathe... please" she says putting her hand on my back and I release a breath I didn't know I was holding. "Well shit" I say for lack of better words and she nods. "Shit, is right" she sighs and we just sit in silence for a moment. "How long?" I ask and she furrows her eyebrows at me. "How long have you..." I say not being able to force the words out. "Since I met you" she says sadly, "but I could tell Xandra really liked you and you really liked her. So I tried to ignore it but... well... here we are" she says and I nod.

What the fuck do I say? I think, "you don't have to say anything" she says out loud. "Sorry" I say and she shakes her head saying it's fine. I look around the room trying to find something to break the unbearable silence. "I'll just go..." she said a getting up and I'm speechless for a moment because I miss her touch. "Don't" I say quietly as she puts her hand on the doorknob. She turns back to me and I can't read her expression but I can hear her thoughts. "Can you just... lay with me?" I whisper and she nods, awkwardly laying back down.

I scoot closer to her and put my head on her chest listening to her rapid heartbeat slow down. She wraps her arms around me carefully and I melt into her. I have no idea what I'm going to do about this or even how I feel but I'll leave that for tomorrow.