Sinful Desires

Heartbreak

Alex

Damon made himself scarce from the house for almost a week after that steamy morning episode. The nerve of him to think that he could leave me that way and disappear for days. I had this pent up sexual frustration, and I'll be damned if I didn't release it.

I was feeling much better after the explosion. I had also mourned Andrew. The whole situation was surreal. He practically saved my life. I would have died if he had not been there. I still got nightmare sometimes, and sometimes I felt guilty. Guilty that I lived and he died. I didn't share this thought with my friends because I wanted to actually blame myself. I needed to be accountable for something, and this was it. Telling my friends would only make them start saying it wasn't my fault; which it was. 

I tucked that thought away and thought about today. It was a Friday. Josh and I had agreed to go out tonight, and besides I had a gig. I would probably stay back in the club and have fun before coming back home. Damon would have a fit but I didn't care anymore. Well, that actually depended on his response this morning.

I went to the kitchen to pour myself a cup of coffee. The kitchen was huge. Everything in the house is huge, including the owner. If you know what I mean. I have not been able to get that image out of my head. I believe he did it intentionally to mess with me. His sculpted naked body will be stuck in my head forever. This wasn't fair. It should be a crime for someone to be that perfect.

He walked into the kitchen at that moment. I have also consoled myself that the universe was against me. Damon always walked in on me when I was thinking about him, especially dirty thoughts. I became red in the face. My face was probably a tomato right now.

"Good morning" I said to him.

"What has gotten you rattled this morning?" He raised his eyebrows like he knew. The bastard! He made himself a cup of coffee and sat down.

"I want us to talk"

"What about?"

"About us Damon. Don't you think it is time we did that?" I was suddenly becoming angry.

"I don't have time for this" He said nonchalantly.

"The hell you don't! You can't keep treating me this way. I'm not some whore that should service you anytime! I'm not your property that you keep! I want to know what this is, right now!"

He sighed and dropped his cup. He was actually looking at me like I was a child throwing a tantrum. He made to get up but I blocked his path. The hell was I going to let him slip away from me. He hated confrontation, I knew that. His silence was always maddening to me. It got me riled up all the time. So, I won't let him leave this house till we talked.

"Damon, I am not letting you out of this house until we actually talk"

"Get out of my way Alexandria. There is nothing to talk about"

"Well, I beg to differ! We need to talk about what this means" I pointed at the both of us "We need to talk about why you go out of your way to protect me. We need to talk about why we have this little intimate moments here and there. About why we have both seen each other's nakedness" My voice dropped "About why I think about you all the damn time. About why I fucking feel jealous whenever you don't come back home. About why I want you all the damn time"

He sat back down and looked into my eyes. Those eyes were probably seeing my soul. I was pathetic, I know. Clawing and pining for something from him. But I needed to know. To know if he felt anything at all for me. If this meant something. All of this had to have a meaning, and that's what I wanted.

"What do you want Alexandria?"

I sat down too "I want to know if you want me too. I nearly died Damon! What the hell, I died actually. I thought I was in Heaven or somewhere, and I fucking regretted lots of things. Things I wished I had done before dying. Things I don't want to pass me by. One of those things was you. I am 22!"

He flinched at that statement.

"I am 22 and very young. I don't do complicated. I should be having fun and acting my age. I should fall in love and get heart broken, and I should fall in love again, and never give up on love. I hate complications Damon, and this is a complication! So I ask again, do you want me?"

There was a long silence as I tried to catch my breath. I didn't know I had been shouting. After a while, he got up slowly and reached for me. He kissed my forehead.

"I don't want you Alexandria. I love my wife" And he walked away.

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I'm guessing Alex is probably heartbroken. But what was she expecting?

Most of these songs are for us to enjoy, while some of them explains what the character is actually going through at the moment.

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