Sinful Desires

Saving me

Alex

The restaurant was not a disappointment. We were ushered in by the owner of the restaurant. Apparently, Vincente was his godson, thus, the VIP treatment. We settled in at a corner table that was reserved for us, and boy, it was the best table. 

I surveyed the plushness of the restaurant and its sleek, well-dressed patrons, a feeling of nervousness crept into me as I remembered the last time I was in a restaurant with a man; the things the man did to me. Quit that thought, you're with Vincente now. I agreed with my inner self this time around and shut off that thought.

The menu was given to us, and as usual, I let Vincente choose for us. We started discussing old times, it always made me laugh. The drinks came, and the mood became lighter. I looked around the restaurant once again, I didn't know why, but I was anxious.

I flinched when I felt a hand on my lap. It was Vincente.

"Are you okay? You've been tapping your feet." He said to me.

I didn't realize my anxiousness was so obvious, "Of course, I'm okay. I just can't wait for the food to arrive. Remember, I have had nothing to eat."

"Oh, I'm so sorry. Don't worry, the food will be coming along shortly."

I nodded, but his hand remained on my exposed thigh. I tried to push my thought out of his intruding hands, it didn't work. It made me nervous. uncomfortable, and It felt-

wrong.

It shouldn't feel wrong if he would soon be my husband. Besides, I had slept with the guy before, even though it was when we were both younger, this should feel like any other thing, but it was not. 

Damn, the son of a bitch! He has ruined everything for me!

"Hey, Alex, are you okay? If it's the food, look, it is here."

I looked around to see the chef bringing our meal, "It's okay Vincente, you've been a complete gentleman. Thank you."

"I would do anything for you. Now, enough of that. Let's eat."

We fell into a comfortable silence; well, he did, not me. The anxiety had not left me, but I tried to eat the food. Vincente must not know the war that was going on inside me.

When we finished eating, and the plates were cleared, I noticed Vincente's mood had changed. I knew what was coming, I dreaded it. I had stalled for too long, it was over now.

Or, I could stall for another moment? I asked myself. Blast it! What is one more stalling going to cause? Absolutely nothing.

I saw him try to reach his pocket, but I quickly interrupted, "Hey, I need to use the bathroom. I'll be back."

"Oh, of course," He withdrew his hands from his pocket, empty. Yay! To my inner Alex.

The stalls in the bathroom were empty, so, I gave myself a good cry. This wasn't me. I had changed so much, I didn't do emotions, I kept them well. I could literally count the number of times I had cried before I met Damon, it was nonexistent. But this time, the man had turned me into a mess. I was now this person who didn't have control anymore. This person who fell in love with a married man. This person who would rather cry in the bathroom,  than say yes to a gentleman waiting for her in the bathroom.

I was a mess, thanks to Damon.

Someone came into the bathroom, and I decided to wash my face and reapplied my makeup. When I was done, I went back to the table to meet Vincente. He was now the nervous one. I could tell he was about to pop the question, and my answer would definitely make him nervous.