Sinful Desires

Nostalgia

Alex

"Alexandria Antonella Simone! if you don't finish that food, God help me, I will spank you! You look so thin. What have they been feeding you?"

I looked at the food that was in front of me, and knew that there was no way any human being could finish such mountainous food. It was going to be a murder, and the murderer would be my mother.

"Madre I can't finish this. It's too much" I started poking at the pasta my mother made. She makes the best pasta in the whole neighborhood, but it was just too much.

"Non discutere con me bambino. Finish that food!" (Don't argue with me, child).

She left me in the kitchen and walked to the bedroom, probably to do another chore. My mother was a workaholic. She hated not doing chores. She invented one all the time even if there was none. I admired her strength because I was a complete opposite of my mum in that aspect.

I watched my dad ignoring us as he focused on reading his newspapers. He hated watching TV, so he caught up on everything in the papers. We weren't rich but we were fairly okay and comfortable.

Josh had brought me to my parents' yesterday. He stayed the night and my mum spoilt him rotten. She had further embarrassed him when she asked if he'd popped the question at me anytime soon. I had never seen Josh that red-faced before. He was red as a tomato.

The climax of that day was when Josh and I were asleep in my bedroom. Mum sneaked in and took a picture of us. This morning, she gushed and  showed it to us that she was going to have it enlarged and put in a frame. According to her, we looked cute as a couple, and she couldn't wait for us to start having her little grand children around.

I felt for Josh. His embarrassment probably hit the roof. So I helped him sneak out of the house, and he took the next flight back to the United States. He loved my parents, but he dreaded my mum. She was a whirlwind, a force too strong to match. Once she was on a mission, she nearly always succeeded, which was why Josh had been avoiding her.

It's been weeks since I avoided Damon. I had used that opportunity to focus on my final exams which I surprisingly passed. I was now officially a graduate, and I needed to be serious with my life. The pain of not being near him had numbed that part of my heart. I was surviving, but not really surviving.

"I hope you've finished that food!" My mother's voice broke me out of my reverie. The fear of my mother was the beginning of wisdom, so I ate a little from the food and secretly repackaged the rest of it and put in my hand bag. I went to the bedroom to find her folding clothes. I shivered at her OCD.

"Madre, I'm going to the town to have a look around, I'll be home soon".

"Sit down bambino. You've been avoiding me. Is there something you wish to tell me?"  

(bambino means child) 

Oh, I wanted to tell her everything. I wanted to tell her that her baby had messed up, that she had gone to get herself in a complicated situation. I wanted to squeal everything, but I couldn't.

I was scared of my mother's reaction if she knew the age difference between me and Damon. She would fly to the US to teach Damon morals. Then if I told her that he was married, she would go with her spatula to spank Damon. She was that dramatic. Most importantly, I didn't want to let her down. She had taught me values and morals, everything I had done went against what she had taught me. Disappointing her was the last thing I wanted to do.

"I messed up mamma. I messed up really bad, and I don't know how to fix it" She stopped folding the clothes and pulled me to sit down.

"Is this about a man?"

"Sí" I nodded, nervously pulling at my fingers. (Sí means yes)

"You want to talk about it?"

"I don't want to disappoint you"

"You are my child. I don't expect hundred percent perfection. We all make mistakes sweetheart, including me. I can never condemn you. But I can teach you because it is my job to do so. Now, is Josh this man? Entrambi avete finalmente fatto sesso?" She asked the last part softly

(Did both of you finally have sex?)

"Madre!" Oh God, she would never stop.

"What? There is nothing wrong with Josh. He is a fine young man that loves you. Though, he is a brat but he is a good man inside. I bet he will also satisfy you in that other part. What else do you want?"

"Jesus! Madre! Josh and I are best friends. Please don't mention sex and Josh in the same sentence. The picture is appalling" I was red in the face. Mother definitely had a first class in embarrassing someone.

"So if not Josh, who is he?"

"A man. My boss, or used to be my boss- I don't even know anymore"

"Do you love him?"

"I don't know Madre. I just know that I have feelings for him. I have never felt this way for any man before"

"Does he love you?" She prodded.

"No, he doesn't. He is with someone" She kept quiet for a while, and held my hands.

"If it is not yours, then it isn't yours. You will get yours at the right time. Don't despair bambino, you don't know what awaits you, and I bet your future is bright".

"Thank you Madre" I hugged her tight. She was just what I needed all this while. I missed her so much. 

"Now, get on with your walk. You might even find yourself a charming man, but don't stay out too late" I shook my head at her relentless tactics in finding me a man. I kissed her temple, looked for Padre who was still engulfed in the newspaper, and kissed him too. He barely acknowledged. 

My daddy found peace in his own things, thanks to my mother who drove everybody mad in the house. But they both love each other very much. They couldn't do without each other, and that was the kind of love yours truly wanted. 

So today, as I walked through the streets of my hometown, I searched and watched every young man that passed by me. Sadly, they were either too weird, or attached to a bimbo- or they were not him. God, I'm pathetic!

"Alex! Alex!" I turned, trying to trace the voice calling my name. I found him.

"Mio Dio! Alex! You look so beautiful!" (Mio Dio means My God)

"Vincente!" I screamed his name, and hopped on his body. He caught me effortlessly and twirled me around.

"Thank God I found you. Marry me, Alex!"

What?

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Phew! Relax people. Don't get panic attack, at least not yet. Wait, until Alex says yes.

Love you guys. Let's wait for the next chapter.

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