billie FLASHBACKS - TW "ugh fuck" I mutter after eating shit, I roll over and stand up, I stumble back losing my balance but I stabilized myself and stood upright before pulling out my keys and walk up to my door and unlock it.
"oh god" I mutter feeling the alcohol coming back up, I stumble through the hallways until I get to the bathroom and let out all that's coming up.
"shit" I slur seeing all the vomit I've let out before standing up and flash the toilet, I lean against the tap and open it to drink some water.
I let out a deep breath panting after before closing the tap and feel my tears coming as I stare at the reflection on the mirror.
I honestly don't know the person I've turned into.
it's your fault you're like this.
slut.
now summer is never coming back.
you have nothing to live for.
you'll be alone forever.
I let out a choked sob as I open my cupboards looking for a specific razor, I knock over my antidepressants making them spill all over the floor.
as soon as I find it, I pull down my pants and boxer standing in front of the mirror before placing the razor on my base to start cutting, "shit shit shit" I mutter feeling the pain shoot through my body.
maybe this way I won't hurt anyone else.
this is for hurting summer.
I press the razor deep before my phone rings loudly causing me to jump, "oh fuck" I hiss seeing the big cut I've created.
FLASHBACKS OVER
I bite my lip looking at the scar rounding my base before letting out a sigh and pull up my pants, I wash my hands and walk out to see summer laying on the bed.
"are you okay?" she asks with a small smile.
"yeah" I mutter getting on top of her to cuddle, "actually.. no" I say cuddling into her neck, "but I will be" she hums rubbing my back.
"okay" she mutters kissing just below my ear and bring my wrist up to kiss it, where her name is tatted.
FLASHBACKS "are you sure you want to do this man?" the tattoo artists asks rubbing alcohol just above my crotch.
"bro just do your fucking job, I'm paying you" I slur laying back and close my eyes and fall asleep.
by the time I'm awake, I was slightly more sober. I look around seeing I was at the tattoo shop and sigh.
"here, you were drunk out your mind" the guys says handing me a bottle of water.
"who are you?"
"tyron, I was meant to be doing your tattoo but I couldn't. you can go pay someone else to do it but I ain't doing that shit for you" he shakes his head.
"and listen man.. I obviously know who you are and your story but you ain't gotta get her name tatted all over your dick. just do something else as an apology but that.. ain't going to work" he tells me.
"yeah.. I don't know what I was thinking" I mutter drinking my water.
"it's not the end of the world either, stop destroying yourself over this shit. just take time off the socials and focus on you before you go and apologize, maybe even prove how you've changed maybe it will work out for y'all" he says giving my shoulder a squeeze.
"damn you're wise" I chuckle.
"yeah well.. I've been in your shoes, just for me it didn't happen" she shrugs, "I gave you a small compulsory one though to see how you like it before you come back and make it permanent" he tells me showing me summer's name on my wrist.
"thanks man"
"no stress"
FLASHBACKS OVER
"I love you" I tell summer pulling back, "I really fucking love you and one day once you believe me.. maybe you can say it back but for now.. just know that I really really love you summer"
she smiles a bit pulling me into a kiss, "one day" I nod laying back on her shoulder.
reedxsummer
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liked by billieeilish, claudiasulewski,naomimusic and 8 528 619 0thers. reedxsummer billie got to post them before I could.
