It had been 3 days since the incident with Eddie had happened and Steve still hadn't left the house. He didn't want to. He didn't want to risk seeing Eddie. He didn't really want to see anyone for that matter. He wanted to be alone.
Seeing Eddie was to tempting. He was scared of what he would do if he saw him again.
He sighed and rolled to his side, he pulled the blanket over his head and tucked it around himself. He had created a safe space in his room, his bed being his new home for the the last three days. He hadn't changed either. Just stripped to his boxers and hopped in bed.
He hadn't eaten either. His appetite was completely gone. The thought of food made him sick.
He felt like a love sick puppy but he knew this was for the best. He had already hurt Eddie, he didn't want to see the hurt expression on his face ever again. He just wanted him happy. Even if it wasn't with Steve.
He huffed and rolled over again. He saw the way Eddie looked at him. It was the same way Nancy did, with so much love and affection that it was almost overwhelming.
He huffed and moved to lay on his back. He knew eventually Eddie would find someone to take his place. He just had to stay away long enough for Eddie to find someone.
He brought his hands up to his lips and touched them softly, trying to remember how it felt to have eddies on them. They were so soft. The way Eddie tastes was indescribable, the way he smelled was intoxicating and the way his cold rings graised Steve's neck. Steve felt his dick twitch and brought a hand down, grabbing himself threw his boxers.
Even just the thought of doing something with Eddie made his dick jump, but it also left a sour taste in the back of his mouth. Doing that with Eddie felt so good but his mind kept telling him how wrong it was. The anxiety growing in his stomach now. Thinking of him kissing another man and enjoying it.
His eyes stung and he closed then tightly. He felt hot tears running down his face.
He felt gross all of a sudden, like he had just jumped into a dumpster, greasy and covered in filth. He jumped up and made his way to the shower. He tore his underwear off and started scrubbing his body, trying his hardest to get the feeling to go away. He continued to cry as he scrubbed. The feeling of feeling gross grew as he continued to scrub, he was sobbing now.
He stopped scrubbing and threw the loofa against the wall. He put his hands in hair, pulling hard. He felt like the room was spinning, his chest was tight. He felt like he couldn't breath and his hands started to go numb.
He wrapped his hands around himself and sat down, curling into a ball as he did. His breaths were coming out in erratic puffs now, his heart racing in his chest. He felt the need to run. Run as fast as he could to get away from this.
His breathing was getting worse. He started rocking back and forth, trying to calm his self down. He put his forehead to his knees, loud sobs were leaving his mouth now. He couldn't control it. Everything seemed so out of control, like his sanity was slowly slipping from his grasp. He could see it but couldn't reach it.
His stomach was a fluttering mess, a wave of nausea hit him. The room was spinning faster now. He gagged and threw himself out of the shower and towards the toilet. His stomach convulsing harshly, but nothing came up. Tears were steaming down his face as he continued to gag violently over the toilet. He squeezed his eyes shut and laid his head on the toilet. He still felt nauseous now, but not as bad.
He felt light headed and decided to lay on the floor. His vision was going black. He sighed. He wanted to be numb, he didn't want to feel anything anymore. So he just laid there and let the darkness over take him, bring his mind peace as it did.
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You'll be the death of me.
FanfictionAfter they defeated Vecna, everything was seemingly going back to normal for everyone.. Or so we thought. Steve has a lot to come to terms with, trying to figure out his sexuality and trying to learn to accept himself is one of the hardest things he...