You'll be the death of me.

Chapter 8

Steve was trying to keep his mind busy, he's been hanging out with the crew more often, watching movies and doing any stupid thing one of them suggests. Except go play DnD.

He had to admit he had fun, the way they all took his mind away from Eddie relaxed him. Made him feel more at peace.

He didn't want to think about the situation, it made his inside twist painfully, making him feel sick. His heart also couldn't take anymore Eddie thoughts. It had taken to many blows here recently. So for the past two weeks, he's just been having fun.

Robin had tried to talk to him about Eddie a few times. Reminding him that they still lived in the same town and he would have to face him and the situation surrounding them eventually. He would just shrug her off. Telling her he didn't want to think about it. She wouldn't fight him of course and he would go back to his peaceful, Eddieless existence.

He also started drinking more often, only at night though. Once the boys had went to sleep or went home; only then would his mind go back to Eddie, constant thoughts of him and their not so relationship swirled around in his head. So he drowned them out the best way he could. By getting drunk.

He noticed Robin was getting pretty fed up with him drinking and avoiding Eddie. She had grown a little cold towards him. Opting to spend more time with her secret girlfriend, saying "This isn't helping your situation. I won't sit here and watch you crash and burn. It's to painful." He understood. He wasn't mad at her. She was still there when he needed her and that was all that mattered to Steve.

This was one of the nights he needed to drink most though. All the boys and el had to go home, seeing as school was coming up in a few weeks, they had to start preparing for it which means no more spending the night on week nights at Steve's. At least not for awhile.

So here he was, sitting home on a Saturday night, missing his kids as he watching some late night show with a beer in hand. It did get kind of lonely, just him and his thoughts. But he knew it was best for now. He couldn't be with Eddie. His mind and his heart couldn't agree so he blocked his heart out and gave in to his mind, it hurt like hell but he'll get over it. Eddie would find someone new soon and so would steve. A girlfriend. Someone his parents would accept and someone who wouldn't make Steve question himself constantly.

He sighed and looked at the time. 11:00. He couldn't go to bed now. He hadn't drank enough yet, his mind was still buzzing. So he got up and made his way over to the fridge and grabbed another beer.

He knew how he looked right now. Pathetic. Drinking his feelings away, but it was the safest thing for his heart he could do. Numb the pain and stay away. Stay drunk. Stay happily content.

He put his elbow on the counter and leaned on them, tipping the beer bottle up, taking a quick swig before he sat it down and lowered his head.

God why can't he stop thinking about him already? He barely knew Eddie for god sakes. They only talked once he became apart of the group, and even then it wasn't much.

They would steal glances at one another sometimes, watching each other, making flirty or sly remarks, but that was it. There wasn't any significant that happened that would explain his "crush" on Eddie. He has tried to think back and remember when it happened but he can't. It wasnt the kiss, he had started having feelings for Eddie before that. He only discovered that recently. Thinking back and remembering all the times Eddie would touching him or brush against him, his stomach would erupt with butterflies every time.

"Goddamn it Steve." He covered the back of his head with his arms and rested his forehead on the counter top.

Eddies personality was what caught Steve's attention at first. It was the complete opposite of Steve. He was fun and could make you smile in the worst of times. His stupid smile could brighten a room, it was intoxicating to watch his smile lines form and the wrinkles by his eyes sink further into his skin. It's like he smiled with his entire face, making it almost impossible not to notice how perfect it was.