You're about to go into your room when all of a sudden you hear the grunts of an annoying porky bitch behind you. You turn around and see her glaring at you like she had a problem with you or something.
"What do you want Miss Porky?" you hiss as you glare back at her. She smiles evilly and you think to yourself how much you want to cook her and put her in a sandwich and feed her to a raccoon you find in a bush. "I know your secret you little whore. I know your pregnant with my hunky frogs baby." You stare at her, appalled that she would think that the only possible daddy would be Kermit. Just because miss porkchop could only drain the self respect out of one guy doesn't mean she couldn't. "As a matter of fact, it's probably not your frog shit boyfriend because I have so many bitches". Future cocktail sausage glares at you condescendingly and then laughs in her annoying grunty way. "You better stay away from him you annoying little whore because he's mine and he loves me not you".
You stand in the hallway in confusion because bacon sandwich had some serious issues. But you didn't even want that ugly middle aged frog dick anyway. Or maybe you did.
Either way you couldn't stay away from him even if you wanted to because you had lied to Miss sausage roll. You were pretty certain the baby daddy was Kermit but you needed to be certain. You prayed that the baby wasn't his because you couldn't imagine your baby being related to the toad in the hole offspring. You never really were one to pray but you were definitely on your knees a lot.
YOU ARE READING
no kermittment
FanficI know you're wondering who on earth would write something like this and you're most likely judging me, but before you judge me, judge yourself for reading it.
